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        bitter_me  43, Female, Philippines - 4 entries
    23
    Jan 2011
    5:07 AM PST
       

    problem child for me but she's not

    this past few days dealing with my only daughter really gets me mad. i easily get irratated. i do love her but i just can't stand it anymore. i easily give her a spank when she do mistakes. i am a bad temperd mom. what shall i do?
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    8 comment(s) - 10:53 PM - 01/28/2011
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        Janira  34, Female, Louisiana, USA - 19 entries
    23
    Jan 2011
    11:01 PM
       

    The Day I make A Change

    Today I slipped I didn't something I shouldn't have done and what I said I wouldn't do. I went on IMVU. After a while it made me sick and I deleted my account. I realized what I was today but disobeyed God in the process. I wanted to say sorry but I know I must prove myself to the Lord. I'm on fire to do right and it's was I hope to do I hope to have the faith to keep pushing forward in the right direction for Christ and myself. Thank you God and I love you an everyone=). I hope I can stick to my goal.
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        Janira  34, Female, Louisiana, USA - 19 entries
    21
    Jan 2011
    11:08 PM
       

    Guilty Conscience

    Okay at work day before yesterday I had to tutor one eight grader and and seventh and they had a ninth grader in there too. which they talked on and off they wouldn't really listen to me when I said stop or low it down and then. I got in a conversation with them I got them to do some work too. So at recap I told my director one was distracting(9th grader) and the others got distracted and they all talked on and off but it wasn't a problem. She told me that if I ever had problems with the ninth grader let her know because she's only there to help. So she talked to the girl when and made it out to her that I had a problem with her. The girl gave me dirty looks all day and told the rest of them. Then I heard the conv. with her and my director. I wish I hadn't said nothing because it was taken to another degree and now i went from being cool to being an enemy. I didn't have it in for her i was talking with them...but I gues i just should of said the day was okay...but i told her the truth though I just don't like that the girl doesn't like me now. It's been eating at my conscience to let her know that wasn't my intent. To let her know I don't have it in for her and she can trust me but I really don't see that happening....What should I do? I've been thinking to go tell her my story but I just started there why would she believe me...Then I also thought back to the way she disrespected the director and thought maybe this is a good thing....but I still feel bad because i don't want anyone to have a bad impression of me..I want to tell her I'm so sorry but I didn't really do it. -A Guilty Conscience
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    1 comment(s) - 08:22 PM - 01/22/2011
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        vflow99  52, Female, North Carolina, USA - 130 entries
    21
    Jan 2011
    7:39 AM PST
       

    crying for them

    God im doing this presentation on wrongfully convicted prisoners and it brngs to to tears.� I hate seeing how they have no knowledge of new technologies nad no relationship with their kids. Its not fair, I feel myself well up with anger against the injustices. Some of these exonerees have found a forgiveness so strong and so prosperous that Only you could give it to them.� I pray for this forgiveness. you know i hold so much frustration against people who have wronged me help me to let it go. i used to love so blindly and now i cant trust people let alone love them.� Help me to become more assertive soi can adequately confron tmy aggressors then release the anger i have for them.� Use me lord please to make a difference in the lives of those who are unable to help themselves. I need you to need me lord because im wasting away. �
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        vflow99  52, Female, North Carolina, USA - 130 entries
    31
    Dec 1969
    6:00 PM
       

    better than people

    i consider myself a good person.� However i have faults, sometimes in defense to people who i think are being malicious towards me i become indifferent to social situations a fancy way of saying i start to put off a vibe like im better than them. when the reality is its just my way of handling the negative pressures of life as i perceive it.� i want people to like me and� i want to be a help to others but thehonest truth �is i dont trust anyone at times not even my kids.� 18 year old paradise often makes me feel like she is in competition with me or maybe its me im not sure. im so wishy washy in in my emotions i dont know who i am or what im capable of.� GOD i just wanna be useful and i just wanna a reason to smile everyday.� please help me deal with these insecurities and perceptions i hate the person i am. how do you get here im 37 years old and i dont even know what i wanna be when i grow up. My kids deserve a better mom and well my husband or x husband now got out as soon as he could take care of himself. he deserves a good wife. sometimes i wish i could have been her other rimes i feel like i deserved a better husband.� so lost so confused so hurting help
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        Janira  34, Female, Louisiana, USA - 19 entries
    20
    Jan 2011
    9:22 PM
       

    Today!

    Today I had been having a lot of stress and confusion on my head. Thinking of what do do on situations and ignoring people. Well today at my jobs for life meeting I gained a new prespective of how to attend to roadblocks in my life and how they can shape me into a better person. I realized that with God EVERYTHING and i mean everything is POSSIBLE even though what your going through is a headache at though moment. That you will cry and fall and hurt people (not intentionally) and be hurt. I learn so much tonight =D I'm hoping to improve myself. I learn to not look at past roadblocks and get depressed but rather smell the roses of my journey and let God take the wheel.=D. All in all today was great. And I realized a wrong done to some people that I want to fix and I want to shape my future and become something great!!! We all can achieve great things if we want and try to grasp it.
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        vflow99  52, Female, North Carolina, USA - 130 entries
    20
    Jan 2011
    8:44 PM PST
       

    venting

    im so happy i vented to My girl T. she really made me understand the premise of other peoples feeling are not on me, it is on them, how i handle it is on me. i love her for loving me. i needed that. i am so glad i got out my intern as well. Ms r. is so full of lies, its never ending and i have no time for it. I feel reinvented. now i just have to wait to se how the program handles my departure grrrrrrr
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        pjgirl  27, Female, United Kingdom - 4 entries
    20
    Jan 2011
    11:54 AM
       

    Liam when will everything be normal again?
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        whoami?  40, Female, Nebraska, USA - 60 entries
    18
    Jan 2011
    10:30 AM EST
       

    I am who I am

    "But by the grace of God, I am what I am, his grace to me was not without effect." 1 Corinthians 15:10

    I am who I am, no apologies.
    I'm done with working to please you.
    You'll never be happy.
    I'll never be who you want me to be.
    Tired of should bes and oughta beens.
    I am who I am.
    I am Ashlie.
    Daughter of the King.
    You don't own me, I am His, forever and always.
    Don't need no jewels, fancy hair styles or�in style�clothes.
    Don't need the perfect body, best house,�or high class�life.
    Don't need any of it, I just need to rest in the arms of my Abba, my King.
    Just need to be who I am.
    No apologies.
    If you don't love me for who I am, then you can take your dreams, your should bes and oughta beens, and be on your way.
    I am forgiven and loved, for who I am.
    All that I am, and all that I'm not.
    And my Father has given me friends, family and a fiance that love me the same.
    They love me for who I am.
    No� need to impress, perform, or hide in the corner.
    I get to live bodly, loudly, and beautifully.
    I walk by faith, I live by grace, I rest in love.
    I am who I am.
    I am who I am.
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    1 comment(s) - 07:54 AM - 01/20/2011
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        Janira  34, Female, Louisiana, USA - 19 entries
    18
    Jan 2011
    10:23 PM
       

    Blessed

    Today was cool and I got a confidence boost on life=D. I was inspired by my job and their love of God and people to keep moving and looking forward. Some things you just can't explain in words. 'God and his love conquers all'
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