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I am in soooo much pain right now! I had an EMG test yesterday to measure nerve inflamation. The neurologist put wires on different parts of my body, then shocked me all over with this thing that looked like a stun gun. He recorded the results on a laptop with a bunch of graphs on it. Ifmy nervesweren't inflamed before, they are now! I feel like I am still being shocked.

I saw my new therapist today. He was nice.

I wrote a letter to George. He called Pat yesterday and said he was still mad at me. He was the one that picked a fight with me two days before my cat was scheduled to die! But I was very fair in the letter. I said we both made mistakes. Let's just drop this petty stuff. I didn't tell him, butI am sick of being the "noble" one.

I am sick of being brave too. I recieved a letter from disability the day the cat died. They are investigating me for the first time in over 2 years.If I don't fill out the form correctly and return it, they could cut off my disability. I tried to fill out the form that night but I messed it up. I have to call them for a new one. I was just looking for the form. I found it in a box of papers in my closet. I tried to putthe boxback in my closet, but all the papers fell out. Something snapped in me. I wanted to scream, but didn't, because I didn't want to wake Pat up (it was 3AM). I wanted to beat things with my dollar store cane that I can't use because the rubber tip wore off. I wanted to run down the street in my pajamas, but I can't run anymore. I picked up the papers from the floor, the bookshelf, everywhere. I was breathing so hard I was afraid I would hyperventilate. I went downstairs and sat in my favorite chair, eating a banana and telling myself to calm down.

I can be brave for the big stuff. It's the little things that get me.

so this is my FIRST entry.YAY!! haha.. but hopefully this website starts to get interesting to me and i keep up with it. anywhoo. i have good good news: i decided to begin columbus technical college again, but instead of starting in october (like i planned) i'm going to start July 9th! so yeah, thats only a few days away. i'm very much so prepared. i went shopping with my bestfriends quita, jenea, my idiot friend reggie, who brought his friend D, and my cutiepie boyfriend of 2 weeks.. well, i wont say his name [nosey ppl in my biz] so we'll just call him KING! haha! sothe boys went their separate way while us ladies went shopping. i didn't spend any money, my KING bought my shit.. haha, yes, hate bitches! so yeah, i'm set for this quarter. but on to other things.. there are3 "friends" that i'm just not interested in associating with anymore.. mainly because i feel as if i'm OUTGROWING them, moving on in life and they are in the same place, talkin about the same shit daily, as if they are just comfortable with doing absolutely NOTHING. & my daddy always told me that when u begin to have a little success in life, you find out who ur real friends are, and that is veeeeeeery true! ur real friends will congradulate u on things that u have accomplished.. whether it is as simple as u growing ur hair back to the length it was before u cut it, or something as big as ur graduation. but a fake friend does all the little sighs, and "mmhs" or better yet just get quite whenever ur do something in life. i mean, its as if they want u to just stay below them in life and watch them prosper. i've NEVER been jealous of anyone of my friends.. not matter what. i'm always proud of them.. but some just cant get me the same in return. i think i need to move on from those negative ppl in my life, and continue on my road to success. i start school again on july 9th, i finally got another job [$8.00 an hour] and i start on monday, and i've lost 34 pounds in 66 days [began on april 21st!] and i have36 pounds to go. and i've met my KING [haha]who makes me very happy. so i'm happywith MY LIFE. when will u be happy with urs????

hey! whats going on? oh nothing here just waiting for my dad to come get me so i can go driving yay! not really cuz i am really tired and i am cramping really bad! but anyways! I may be getting a new digital camera soon yay! i cant wait it is awesome!!!! lol so i have a question who thinks that when you're best friend says that you guys are going to be friends forever that its true? i dont think it is because your so called best friend could possibly screw up pretty severely or you could or whatever but i dont think so.... but i dont know im going to get off here and get ready so i can go driving!!!!

Mwah!!!!!

How do you decide something that will change your life forever??

If you have any advice please tell me....

Thanks

hello! Cim and i went to a roller skating place today with these girls from our dance! it was really fun and i cant wait to go to our recital 2marrow!
TYYL, Belle

My journal is the best place to be, everyone! This is my journal/blog which i will be able to share with...EVERYONE! Okay so first I'd like to remind everyome to wear teir sunscreen in these summer months. It is really nice for me because I have no problem slathering on all that cold sunscreen, because it saves me a ton of pain! In addition, the smell always reminds me that its summertime... so have a good time!

Love,

rs<3

hey! sorry i havent wrote in awhile but i have been busy!!!! i have been driving well practicing but you know.... everything is going well with me and my boyfriend yay almost 15 months now but yea..... he is the love of my life and heis WONDERFUL!!! the SWEETEST guy ever!!!!! well i have to go cuz i am very tired and im going to bed now well i promise it wont take me that long to write again lol

Mwah!!!!

Keshia