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MyTeenageFairytale 33, Female, United Kingdom - 11 entries

Sep 2007
6:09 PM BST

Well, this is my first entry!!

I don't know if anyone is actually reading this ... but I've had fun trying this new thing out .. so it doesn't bother me if noone does or not.

I suppose I'm just living the typical teenage life really! .. in my mind it goes abit like this ..

Boys

Exams

Boys

Friends

Boys

Appearance

Boys

chocolate!!

But then again .. doesn't every other teenagers!

I would say my teen years have been that tough, well not compared to other peoples! .. but last year I got myself in with the wrong crowd and had threatens to be beaten up and stuffs! .. that wasn't fun! .. and then I got aload more crap from other people because I cheated on 'Tom' (my present boyfriend at the time) .. i wasn't liked much after that! .. and I had all sorts of rumours going round about me. I lost alot of my friends through that.

But now .. its a new school year, and everything is back on track! .. well all my friends and school work is getting on alot better!! ... but the boys side of things ... well .. thats not too good!!!

You see last year, there was this boy I was absoulty crazy about!! .. head over heels about!! .. which was kind of bad as I had some other boyfriend at the time.. 'Jamie'.

Jamie could clearly see that I liked this guy ...'Ryan England' ... and decided he didn't want to be with me whilst I liked someone else .. which is fair enough really.

Anyway a year and another boyfriend later, I was single again! .. I still liked Ryan (alot) but what could I do? .. i knew for a fact that he didn't like me! We had always been friends though.

... until one day ... I went to a party (cesca's) .. and Ryan just happened to be there. We were sat on the trampoline outside together with every1 else just laughing and chattting, and I noticed the way he kept hugging me and smiling at me! .. which made me very happy!! .. at abut 9:30ish .. its started to get cold, and we all went in to sing happy birthday to Cesca. Ryan came up behind me and put his arms around my waist. I turned around to look at him ... and .. yeeh .. we had a loongg (lush) romantic kiss!!! .. reallyy wasn't expected at all! lol .. but I'm not complainning! .. and anyways after that we became an item .. and we were together a long time. I actually made myself think that he was the one! He was the one that I fancied the pants off, and I got him! .. who else could I possibly want more?! ...

Until one day, I realised I couldn't look him in the eye anymore and tell him that I Loved him, I felt like I was lying to him!! .. I got myself soo confused!! .. I didn't understand!!! I decided it would be best for both of us to go on a break whilst I got my head sorted out!! ... anyways .. later on that week I soon realised that was one BIIGGGG mistake!! .. and me being my foolish self, didn't even think about how this may have affected Ryan!! .. he thought I didn't love him anymore .. which wasn't totally true! .. I still reaally liked him!!! ..

Anyway, a week later he asked me to meet him down the park because there was something he needed to tell me..... and yes, you've guessed it. He wanted to break up with me. (for good) .. I didn't understand at first! .. and instead of crying, and just went speachless. I couldn't say anything!! .... it felt like someone had just shoved an iron pole down my throat!! .... I tried to make out that I felt the same way about the decision, and that i was totally fine with it all.. (which i really wasn't!!!!!)

I couldn't understand .. and 5 days on ... I still don't ... I know I still love him!! .. but I don't know how he feels back anymore!! .. hes still texting mee .... LOADS! .. which makes things even more confusing!!

AHHH I NEED TO MAKE UP MY MIND OF WHAT I'M GOING TO DOO!!!!

HEEELPPPP!!

Tags: Teenage life

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tiahe 33, Female, Canada - 33 entries

Sep 2007
10:27 AM EST

The first day of school oh goodness.

We walk to school everything is good, and then taylor starts it off being a bitch. I go into first period and I sit beside John and then I have Brock, Brandi, Erich, Taylor.W and then like Nicoles little group(who are sooo annoying)! Period two I have with Sam, and Sara. Third period is math, which was great but boring. I have Braeden in that class and he was being a dick. Then fourth was lunch and I was with the mountsfielders and then with Tori and Anne and them, and Braeden of course. Then fifth is the worst class ever its food and i only have Sachin it is and that is it. It was an okay day, kinda sucked though:( and after school i was with Braeden to, and all we do is like fight and hug. Its cute but i dont like him!

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jesssie 33, Female, Canada - 69 entries

Sep 2007
9:12 AM EST

First day back at school. It was great.. not gonna lie. First class, I sit beside michelle but me and calise usually just chatter up! Second class, business, i sit beside my boy dain! ANd mallory. I don't talk to Mallory. But whatever, I'm thinking about changing seats cause our homeroom teacher is fackin awesome. ANyways lunch was sick, got high. LAST DAY i promise! Pretty sure me and some of those kids are not so close anymore it feels like! So maybe I'll switch groups and chill with other people now instead. English class is fackin sick. I sit beside Amanda, and Sam sits in front ofme. Them boys are behind me making jokes, its all good. Math is probably one of the chillest situations; sit beside Spence and Sam H and Brandon sit right in front of me, we gitter done when it comes to the talkin ahhaha. But overall, today was great. i even bumped into Tim and yanno, im pretty sure we might hit it off.. again.. or maybe sam.. again? Im not sure. Alll i know is , this year is gonna be fackin GREAT.

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shadowlove 35, Female, New York, USA - 60 entries

Sep 2007
8:02 PM EDT

The day after tomorrow is the first day of school.

I don't know whether I'm excited or nervous.

Hung out at Carlye's house today with Nora and Jessica. It was nice cause it was the first time we'd seen each other in a while.

"Brooklyn is a fun language" - Nora :)

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scarlett 36, Female, Bahamas - 161 entries

Sep 2007
7:54 PM EDT

"The worst thing you can try to do is cling to something that is gone, or to recreate it." - Johnette Napolitano

That is so true. I feel like I'm holding onto high school...and whoI used to be. It's just not coming back, is it? I mean....ever. I guess that's a good thing actually...I didn't really like who I was becoming. But then again, I have no idea who I am anymore.

This is so confusing ><. Lizzie's right, no one knows us here. I'm not sure that anyone wants to get to know me...which hurts, but the truth usually does, I suppose.

I need to sleep. I'm kind of lost...

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meegaan 35, Female, Canada - 3 entries

Sep 2007
1:59 PM EDT

Summers Ending

so the summer is offically over. it was sooooo good when i think about it. i mad so many new friends lost some old ones but i'll gain them all back during the school year. i had fun. i wasnt until today that i releized how much i've changed over the year and the summer. its weird but in a good way. i love the new people i meet and i dont know what i would do with out them and the friends i've had for sooooo long i have no clue what id do without them either they kept me together and held me in one when i was at end they where there. and i was there for them the whole summer. but the two people who where there for me NO MATTER WHAT during the whole summer was my bestfriend jessica and my bestfrind abe. they both care so much about me and i love them to death.

but the summer was great and i totally dont wanna go back to schoool. all the drama and fights its just going to be so gay but i cant wait to see what else the years going to bring and all the new people i'll meet.

Megan

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jesssie 33, Female, Canada - 69 entries

Sep 2007
11:43 AM EST

I'm really tired of people making promises and breaking them. I'm not saying I've never done it before. But when the same person repeatedly breaks promises, and makes you believe things that aren't true and will never happen; that is when it starts to get annoying and frustrating. There is nothing I can do because the person who keeps getting my hopes up for nothing is my own parents. What am i supposed to do anyways, because there isnt anything! I ask for things, I ask this complex universe for things I feel like I need; things that might be able to cheer me up. I did exactly as that stupid movie said, and maybe it works for some people, but it's not working for me!

It hasn't changed anything for me! My God, sometimes I really hate my life. I know ther are people who have it 'sooo' much worse, but I don;t have anything to compare that to, like im not from a third world country. So what I think is bad, is bad for ME. not bad for the kids who cant afford to eat and whatnot.
i'm just pissed. pissed pissed pissed.
& school is tomorrow. i dont want to go.
fuck that.

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shadowlove 35, Female, New York, USA - 60 entries

Sep 2007
7:42 PM EDT

There's something about the movie the sound of music that makes you think everything is right in the world.

(This is longer that I expected it to be)

So, I got back today from my brothers soccer tornament in Philadelphia. They played (supposedly) all Primier teams when they're a Division 1 team. And they should have won.... or had a better chance to.... I'll get to that later.

I missed the first game because it was really early in the morning and I'm nocturnal and don't sleep at night. Aparantly it was a very good game that ended in a tie: 1-1

The second game was a joke. My brothers team ran circles around the other team ending in a score of 8-1

Today, the first game was VERY phyisical.... and the ref let them all get away with it. Our team isn't generaly physical but when faced with that kind of phisicality... they can fight back with the rest of them. After the game, the coach was saying (loudly) how he was disapointed that we sunk down to there level, but then when we were in the parking lot he was like, 'if that ever happenes again and you don't retaliate, I will personaly punch you in the face'.... he was putting on a show before for the parents of the other team... he was really proud of them.

Okay... so the final.... the parents thought that the team was the penn. state champs but no one was sure. If they were it was because of their keeper. He made at least 4 game saving stops for their team in the second half. At the end of the fist half it was we were up 1-0, but within the first 10 mins of the second half they scored a goal on our mistake when we put the ball into the center of the defense. This was were their keeper came in handy. We had so many nice opportunities and took so many nice shots, but they either missed by an inch or the keeper stoped them. The only shots the other team seemed to be able to get off, would be ones resulting from our mistakes.

So, there's like a minute left in the second half, and one of their players is making a run at our goal when our defender runs in from the center and literaly body checks the kid out of the way (no one denies that happened). I'm not sure wether it was in the box or not.... from where I was sitting it looked like not - and I believe that parents that were sitting down there who say they saw it. Well, anyway, the ref calls the foul but as he's walking over the kid that got knocked down stands up and flat out punches our defender. The ref red card's the kid.... and gives his team a penalty kick.

Even the other teams coach knew that that was no way to end the final game in a tornament. Our coach called the kids off the feild after that, and wether it was that, or the last seconds played out, the ref called the game.

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jesssie 33, Female, Canada - 69 entries

Sep 2007
2:38 PM EST

Would you stop making me feel like you're the thing i need? You make me feel like YOU are the person i should be wasting all of my time on. And, i know you're wrong for me. Everyone tells me it, and in the back of mind, I know it's true. I know you're faking everything, but you make it so fucking believable. I need to quit you, and you need to let me. You make things so much harder than they have to be. What in the world gives you the right to say you love me, you like ME, when you have an amazing girlfriend right in front of you. You can acknowledge it all you want, tell her how much you love her, but at the end of the day, if you dont feel any guilt, what is wrong with you? What is wrong with you anyways, because clearly you like to make me sad and scared and nervous and shy and happy and all of these emotions at once. Like, I love you. I love who I want you to be and who you are to me and what i think of you. I love it all! But the one thing i can't bear myself to love is the way you treat me. Like, I'm not your back up. I never will be. So don't keep treating me like it.

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smb 50, Female, Wyoming, USA - 129 entries

Sep 2007
12:06 PM MST

Friday we left for SD. Stayed with CN Friday night and then we went to Burke for the weekend. It was nice but I started getting sick on the way there.... Sore throat, swollen glands, and super bad sinus Heachache. I swear, as soon as I get better with one thing something else comes on. I have contiued to be sick the entire weekend.

Got to see CN's mom and sister, Sandy and her family and the new 3 month old baby. The baby didn't like us holding her so that was sad but oh well I guess she just isn't use to strangers!

I was VERY, VERY tired coming home, it is hard being off the caffeine. BUT, my heart hasn't really given me any problems. Slowly it has went away... I am starting to think it was all anxiety! I guess I better stay on the A-D

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