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GhostWriter414 35, Female, Ohio, USA - 3 entries

Oct 2007
4:55 PM EDT

I pretend to be strong,
when in reality,
I am dying inside.
But I have to be strong,
for my family...at least,
that's what I tell myself.
If I am not strong for them
then who will be?

Tags: Must be strong...

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1 comment(s) - 12:59 PM - 10/03/2007

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Charlie 37, Female, Pennsylvania, USA - 8 entries

Oct 2007
2:41 PM EDT

"You Gave My Love"
-Unknown-

You gave me time, when no one gave me time of day.
You looked deeo inside while the rest of the world looked away.
You smiled at me when there were just frowns everywhere.
You gave me love when nobody gave me a prayer.

That's why I call you savior.
That's why i call you friend.
You touched my heart,
you touched my soul.
And helped me start all over again.
That's why I love you Jesus.
That's why I'll always care,
You gave me love when nobody gave me a prayer.

You gave me laughter after I cried all my tears.
You heard my dreams while the rest of the world closed their ears.
I looked in Your eyes and I found the tenderness there.
You gave me love when nobody gave me a prayer.

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Diane 48, Female, Iowa, USA - 26 entries

Oct 2007
12:51 PM CDT

Sorry it's been awhile been on vacation camping away from civilization and all. My sister and a friend of mind watched the dogs while we were gone figured they are better off staying at home and I could relax more with out them. As far as I know bailey was only given what is on his strict diet and nothing more. He looks as thou he might have been scratching a little while we were gone but not too bad.

Still getting ½ PED in the morn and 2 CEP a day
PC 4.9

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scarlett 36, Female, Bahamas - 161 entries

Sep 2007
7:45 AM EDT

earth to brain: no! stop, just stop it. you may not know it, but you belong to someone who loves connor...a lot. so why are you thinking about patrick? why are you thinking about marina? why do you care if justin or felix have interest in you? why do you follow jorg around like a lost puppy? why? why? why? this is so idiotic. being with connor is also idiotic. we will never get to see one another and when we do...then what? he fucked erin. plain and simple. granted, we weren't together at the time but it was so hard for me to move on and believe me, I had offers. just the way he always does; he goes off to try something new and then comes crying back when it's not as good as what he had with me. not acceptable. either stay with me or have the balls to stick through something else with someone else. every relationship starts out awkward and rocky.deal with it.i just want someone who is good for me. isthat really too much to ask? apparently.

side note: i don't know any freshmen. went to a class of 2011 party yesterday and didnt know a single person. im surrounded by seniors and juniors, im their pet "fabulous freshman." i know i should spend more time with kids my age but...right now they all seem so immature. i know that i talk about problems with connor on here but with actual people, the only time i bring it up is when someone asks or when something really momentous occurs for example: when he crashed his car coming to visit. but the girls on my hall: "omg...omg...he's looking at me...what should i doo???" >< i just cant stand it at every meal and in every conversation. and their drinking habits!!! they just get SMASHED every night. at least the seniors know how to handle their alcohol. ugh..

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scarlett 36, Female, Bahamas - 161 entries

Sep 2007
8:35 AM EDT

im so tired. all the time. i wake up ready for bed and i go to sleep hoping that tomorrow never comes. i really hate wishful thinking. hope...is different. we cannot survive without hope. if you are alive, you are hopeful. it's as simple as that. hopeful that things will be better, that tomorrow will be as good as today, that things will stay or change in accordance with your wishes. at least, that's what i think. im still conflicted. do i visit connor or not? it would be really, really expensive. and who knows what will happen when i get there? im confused (surprise surprise). on a happy note: went to cirque le masque last night. i love this school. it may try to kill me but at least it entertains me in the process.

just had a thought. what is a life? i mean, we talk about the past as if it is real. but is it? we have evidence, we have scars and tombstones and legacies and skid marks and coffee grounds on the table. ...so what? we can never experience the past, we can have all the evidence we want that it exists but we can't prove it. maybe all we actualyy have is one single moment. Exactly one tiny fraction of an experience that is constantly changing. because i keep looking back on things that happened two years ago and i remember thinking that today was so far away...but here it is. 40 years from now i will think, in an instant like this one, "where did all the time go? i thought that this day was so long in coming but...here it is." why is that not the same instant? the future is unknown, the past is unreachable and all we have is now. right now. you are always, always right here and right now so why worry about anything else? except the fact that this moment will one day be months or weeks ahead. so maybe planning wouldn't hurt...

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jesssie 33, Female, Canada - 69 entries

Sep 2007
1:48 PM EST

You know what I never realized? Well thats a lie, I have realized it many times, but it hasn't clicked until right this minute. Why am I living, like Im just going to die eventually, and start all over again. I'll have a new family, a new outlook on life, it will be different again! Or, maybe everyone gets one shot and this is it. Maybe reincarnation doesnt exist. Maybe nothing happens for a reason and its up to you to live as long as you can.. what if that is true? Do i honestly just want to waste my life with all the wrong ideas in my head and the wrong people in my life? Sometimes, when I feel sad, I think of the past.. as in past people I've shared something with. I'm scared because i don't know what I am doing to anyone around me. I'm being careless and reckless and I dont mind who gets hurt. i dont want to be like that, but right now im thinking about myself and i honestly dont care. i dont care if i have feelings for more than one person, i dont care if old feelings show up again once in a while., i dont care if i fall out of love as easily as i fell IN love. im gonna get hurt, im gonna fight, im gonna try my best and im gonna fail miserably. either way, im gonna live day after day because thats what needs to be done.
I love my family
-- they are the only ones who i know for a fact will stick by me NO MATTER WHAT and i love them for it. when i say family, that includes my best friend PD(l) no one else compares anymore. No one.

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dee23 54, Female, United Kingdom - 170 entries

Sep 2007
5:39 PM GMT

at last my other half has got a new job managing a restrarunt better pay better hours so well done him .my son loves school now it has only taken 10 years to hear him say that he has realy worked his socks off and got his grades up not bad for a kid with dyslexia i am so proud of him for all the problems he has had to overcome and the bullies

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