tänään on sitten viimeinen kokonainen päiväni jyväskylässä. sitä on vähän vaikea tajuta, ja täytyy sanoa, että olo ei ole mitenkään mahtava. nyt vasta alkaa ymmärtää kuinka hyviä tyyppejä täällä oikeasti on, ja kuinka koti tästä on etenkin menneen syksyn aikana tullut. oppiipa varmaan arvostamaan kyseisiä asioita ja muutenkin sellasta helppoutta kevään aikana.
vaikka viimeksi taisin kirjoittaa, että itse lähtö ei niinkään jännitä, niin kyllä se nyt oikeasti alkaa jännittää. varsinkin, että miten siellä sitten menee se ensimmäinen päivä. miten löydän tieni ensin lentokentältä keskustaan ja keskustasta hakemaan kämpän avaimia. seuraava ongelma tietty on sit se, että saanko koko avaimia ylipäänsä. ja sitten se, että miten löydän koko kämpän. sit kun siellä ei tosiaan ole minkään sortin patjaa, niin kuinka monta yötä joudun nukkumaan lattialla, ennenku saan sellaisen jostain hankittua (no tämä nyt on aika pieni ongelma..) seuraavaksi pitäisi sitten löytääkin jo psykologian laitos ja käydä ilmottamassa, että olen paikalla. sit voiskin varmaan jo mennä kaljalle, kun olo alkaa varmaan olla niin stressaantunut. hahaa.
pakkaaminen on toki ihan kesken, ja pitäis vielä siivota, sulattaa pakastin ja kaikenmaailman muita hommia hoitaa. jotten vaan taas jättäis viimetippaan. hahaa.
mutta tosiaan, mut löytää helpoiten mesestä, jos ikävä yllättää. toivottavasti siellä siis tapaan mahdollisimman monta teistä, jotka tätä jaksaa lukea.. tässä muuten vielä mun mese, jos joku kaipaa sitä (tiedän, että multa ainakin puuttuu monen sellaisen tyypin yhteystiedot, joihin kuitenki ois kiva olla yhteydessä): tuu-tikki@hotmail.com. lisäilkäähän, jos siltä tuntuu.
TULEE IKÄVÄ!!!!!
This past weekend was pretty good. I REALLY have been doing much, much better at Love and Logic and keeping my cool and really, now that I have improved, the boys have too! OR maybe I am better able to "deal" with them.
We were at chruch until 2:45 because of a "family" meeting... that I ended up making longer because I asked a simple question ("Are we focusing on growth and HOW?" and what can we all be doing other than praying and talking to our friends/coworkers!) That opened up a whole can of worms. WOW, anyway, I sense there is a lot of "hurt" in our chruch and sadness that so many families have left and at least I am struggling with the finicial burden and workload we are left with after all those families left the church! NOT, that I don't want to give more $ and work more but they are really asking for a lot from only 23 families left.
THen we had the Terrell's over for supper, sloppy-bean joes! Mike measured and is going to do new carpet pretty much everwhere except O's room! I am excited but NOW I have to get the PAINTING DONE! I am really thinking I broke up with CN way to soo, should've let him finish the painting!
Tasha and I are starting a "Bringing up Boys" class in Feb! EXCITED! I ordered SOME materials today so we can get started looking at the instructor and workbook stuff!
Today I stayed home with O. Jane was gone. I got some stuff done but the day just goes by TOOO fast! but we had a good time hanging out... man, he is really turning into my "sweetie boy" he loves to hug and snuggle and he tells me several times a day that he loves me! OHHHH! and Jett is just into his Animal leapster game! He's good at it! I am proud of him too!
gotta get to bed!
ok, so there's this guy i've liked for about four or five years. and i can hardly speak when i try to talk to him! and when i'm around him i always try to act out or make him notice me. he talks to me and he's REALLY nice. but i just get so nervous!!! i just want to act cool and calm. but i am just so scared he'll laugh in my face. oh, and he's like, 3 years olderer than me, but i read that it doesn't matter if he's under 4 years older than you.
has anyone else gone through this type of thing? if you have could u plz give me advice. it would REALLY help! thnx so much!
In case u havent heard, The San Diego Chargers beat Indy 28-24 on sunday. My chargers are going to New England to face the Patriots for the AFC Championship game!! I cannot fucking believe they pulled off that upset. Shitty calls, injuries.. i thought we were done.. but nooooooo.. not those resilient men!! 17-1 aint soo bad, patriots fans, i swear!!
I had my Dr's appointment today.. Got all these tests done .. if its bad, i'll find out in 3 days at the soonest if anything's up.
Tomorrow is finally the LAST day as a full time technician. Tho Loree FUCKED me. She's making me drive DG's truck AND gave me a fucked up schedule. First case of the morning for skin resurfacing, which will take a whole hour, maybe an hour and a half for two patients.. and not another case till 2pm.. WTF.. how messed up is that?!?!?!
Steven just called me.. and i messed up!! I called him babe!! LOL I dont know if he heard it, or maybe he ignored it, cuz he didnt say anything..
mondays are always very boring for me, not only that the exams are comming but then theres a ceremony comming and guess what this is ganna bea bummer, im in it! man i hate being the winner or the important person or higher up my rep coz honestly i want to just lay low, its not that i want to be the centre of the world, i'd rather be like unknown, than the popular. But no....because i have a bro that was a captain in the bb team. i have to be known....and yea its kinda annoying....
Just want to be unknown like a shadow.....
Later
what a christmas we had first of all my partner lost his job one week before christmas how nice of them to pay him off at that time off year.never mind he got a new job 24 hours later well done him .then my son had his op on 29th dec and is in cast till feb my house is going to modernised in feb and i still havent cought the fury burgler no doubt it's dead some where under the floor boards i put enough poision down to kill a horse so with a bit of luck its dead we haven't seen it or heard it so it looks good . i'm now insane because i hate not working and get so board i never know what to do all day i can't understand all these people who never work they must have such dull lives i would love to be able to go out and work but due to my health i cant and its driving me mad
Have you ever had the feeling that you are being stalked?
Ever scince me and one of my Ex-Friends got into a fight i feel like im being followed everywhere i go! im so glad i wasn't her friend for very long (we only knew each other for 2 and a half months) because if she had come over to my house then she would know where i live! but seriously i have this really bad feeling that she is following me or stalking me..... i guess if she followed me then she would know where i live! lol....... im not scared of her or anything im just scared she'll see me do somthing or hear me say something about her!
then again the chances of her following me is like 10/100 so a 10% chance she is following me or quoincidentally everywhere i go but there is a nice big 90% she isin't! i hoep she isn't!!!!
kk i like this guy and everyone keeps telling me that he likes me and he even told me last year but i didn't like him like i do now, so i told him we should be friends. and then one day he said that he doesn't like me anymore and that his friends are bugging him about me (im 1 year older than him but who gives a shit?) so His Friends bug him about that. and now i talk to him almost daily on msn, so now i really like him. does he still like me? is it His Friends? I wanna ask him out but im not sure if he does or doesn't like me!
he was out of town this weekend for hockey (lol he LOVES hockey!!!!!!) and the night before we left he told me he won't be on the computer for a bit and i can't stop thinking about him! i really want to go out with him but again, im not sure if
a) he likes me
b) he likes me but is hiding it from His Friends
or
c) he is telling the truthand he doesn't like me in that ways anymore
HIS FRIENDS are the f*cking problem!!!
i guess i can't be sure until i ask the question, i'm just so nervous!
What do you think?
be4 i get my story started i want you to know that if you don't like long stories, don't read mine because this one is long and confuseing!
Many ppl say that true friends never talk behind thier friends backs..............
I still can't believe the girl world these days.
I'm in grade 7 and I was going to go to this school farther away from home then the one i was going to go to. i didn't get into "my new school" until a day and a half after i started the one i am supposed to go to...... the school where all my friends are. MY dad worked at the school that i now go to and my sister also chose to go there (she is in grade 9) so a day and a half after going to the one i was supposed to i got transfered over to the one im in now. I thought i would make new friends instintly at my new school because i have always been known to have friends as soon as i go some where new! i also thought it would be easy because my sister made friends in no time at all! I didn't make any friends. i never did make a friend until the very end of october. mainly for 2 months i went to that school friendless. i made friends with this girl (i don't want to bring names up so im calling this girl, "p1") so i hung out with p1 and then i started to also hang out with p1's friend (her friend is going to be "p2") at lunch though p1 would start talking sh*t about p2 and they have aperently been friends for a long time so p1 talks to me about how p2 is annoying and never shuts up and then one day p1 told me "my secret is that i don't really like p2 she is so annoying so i pretend to be friends with her" im like okay lets talk about something else, i didn't want anything to do with what p1 said!
Around mid november, p1 started following me around and i could tottally tell she was being a two faced freak! she would talk sh*t behind p2's back and then p1 would tottaly act like she loved p2!One day i was talking to p2 about p1 and i was like "yeah she is really starting to bug me, she follows me around everywhere i go" p2 for who knows why told p1 what said and then p1 didn't talk to me during our gym class (i didn't know at that time that p2 told p1) and i asker what was wrong but she didn't answer so i walked away. then p1 got someone in the class to practically message to me why p1 was mad. (so she got mad at me for not saying to her face that she was annoying but she couldn't say to my face that she was mad and why) i ignored her ofcourse.
I tell my mom everything, my mom is more than a friend to me than a mom! my mom told me i had better things to worry about than p1 and i agreed with her. why waist my time so worry about some hypacrite?
Schoolis hell now, p1 started telling everyone bad things about me and ppl believed her at first. ya know how i said p1 was talking behind p2's back? she told p2 that i said those things. thats 2 friends lost in 1 week. well p2 wasn't not my friend it's just that i don't think i could be friends with someone who believes that about me and would listlen to what another person said! p1 started calling me a b*tch on msn and harrassing me on msn. ( at the time my msn messangerwas messed so i was using this other msn you can get online and i didn't know hwo to work it that well so i couldn't block her!) at school p1 got wait not got but forced p2 to come up to me and tell her that p1 is sorry and she wan't us to be friends again and that p1 said if she could talk to me she would tell me she will never say anythingbad about me again (even though she says that she still calls me a b*tch!) so i told p2 (without getting mad at p2) that i don't want to have p1 in my life and that she is not sorry and she doesn't want to talk to me because if she did want to talk to me she would tell me that herself. (again she can't tell me something to MY face) p2 had no comment to that one! after hearing it all and everything, my body started to shake violently whenever i thought or talked about p1. i don't know if i was shaking because i was angry or if i was depressed about the sitouation or if i was juststressed over it all, i could have been shking from more thta one emotion. All i know is that i was not likeing it so much that my brain diodn't know how to get the feelings out so it was affecting my body. i was starting to get obsessed with why she did that and how bad i felt and how hard or a time i was haveing and not to mention school work! so i got kinda obsessed with thinking how i could get out of this sitouation and my brain was using my body to get these feelings out of me. And that's when i knew this is not just a little sitouation anymore! it's big and it may be affecting my health.
After hearing p2 talk about p1 and how i should be friends with her again and being given dirty looks, winter holidays came! my mom randomly surprised me and my brothers and sister with a trip to Vancouver! i have a lot of family down there so my mom wanted us to get away from kelowna for a bit and just chill in Vancouver! I think Vancouver was a great idea. i was able to think about p1 and i tryed think out her side and how she felt and for a bit i was feeling bad for her. i think i was starting to forgive her.
I got back into kelowna from ana wsome trip (yes it was awaome ven though it was only 5-6 hours away) and i went back to school. p1 wasn't bugging me, p2 wasn't bugging me about p1. i thought things had finnally settled, but then i was in gym class and p2 randomly brought up p1. p2 told me that p1 wanted me to come over to her sleepover party! I was like "OMFG why would i do that? no wayam i going over to her house in the middle of a fight!" p2 left and told p1 i said no so p1 gets another girl to ask me and i said no again. i didn't want to be in the same room with her much less her house!
two nights ago i was on msn and she was on (i saved the convo so that i would have proof incase i needed it) she started to call me a lieing b*itch and all that but i didn't answer her, i knew she would say somthing bad and i knew those words might be the thing to get me out of this mess.
I showed to conver sation to my mom and she said "don't you ever go near this girl again" and then last night i was on msn and she was on. i was so mad she called me a b*tch that when she started talking to me again,i actually answered. She threatned me!!!! finnaly i had enough of the threats and told her not to bug me. she kept on saying i was immature because i couldn't talk to her. personnally i think she is immature because she callsme a b*tch andif im so b*tvhy why does she want to talk to me?
MY dad suffered from BPD and had an abusive, addictive, obsessing over one thing personality. I had noticed that p1 acts a lot like how my dad acted which is so wrong! With my dad he kept on apologizing and we always took him back, thinking about it why did me, my mom and my brothers and sister go through with it. that was no way to treat a person and for some reason we always gave mydad another chance. even this summer we started to have visits with him and by the end he wasacting the same way he did 3-4 years ago. P1 is expecting a second chance because she is so used to getting one! p1 and p2 have aperently faught a lot but p2 keeps taking p1 back just like how i took my dad back over andover again. ppl with this personalitly need to learn that they don't always get a second chance and not everyone will give them acertain chance. p1 keeps doing this to ppl because she knoes they will give her another chance. I guess you can say that iamnot, or i refuse to make the same horrible mistake twice! you can onlygive ppl 1 or two chances, if they srew up the 1st one bad enough don't give them a2nd. if they mess up the 1st and 2nd one, stay away from them.
Those are the type of ppl who put strong memmories in your head
unfortuatally those are strong bad memoriesim your head
not good ones
laulau-goteborg 41, Female, Finland - 12 entries
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cancermoonchild 45, Female, California, USA - 32 entries