exam is coming, for the following week we ned to bug up already!
there are still many works for me to do==homework and also notes~
but there are also many things happen for this few days==
yew fail in the singing competition......feel very sorry for him.......
and yet the teacher days audition is coming......
and the mid-term exam is coming......
shiong is also very busy........feel very sorry ........coz i can do nth to help him.......
he is a very pour thing.......
he�being as�a leader so that need to have meeting every day during recess and yet being hungry but eat nth.......
and�since exam is coming.......
he is�being stressful with all the things he need to do.......feel sorry to him.....
busy busy busy thats wat he got==
everyday reach school study then recess time go meeting and then study again....after school go society or tuition.........everyday also reach home after 9 or 10 o clock......then bath and sleep........and next morning wake up at the early 5 and go school study meeting and others keep repeating..........
this is wat he do for everyday.......
for me.......i still got time to ress and even play.......but he have no choice.......
so心疼......haiz.........
if ony i could help him on........
and since exam is coming, he need to have more time�to study and do revision.....but no! he have no time.......
hope that i could help him.........at least i can teach him about the studies........so i also need to bug up already........
if not, i might coz his result getting worse becoz of my careless mistake on teaching like last time...........
so lo==
i really cares u de leh~
so u must let me know wat r u thinking wor~and let me know when u really need help~^^
and i will always be there for u~^^
*blushes* Forgive me for i have sinned i called Eddy* again it was� only once though. Its not� a suprise he hasn't rang back.
Anyways the rest of the past 4 days have been so-so. I dissed some bitches on myspace.� A life without mischief does't make u feel alive. There is something about Drama that just turns me on. I love it when people are fighting. I'm one of those people who fuel misunderstandings
Suprisingly i'm getting alot better without having an Eddy fix. I'm still in the early ages of recovery i believe very soon i'll be able to fly without my wigs.
He is a really nice guy...i thought about my descion of the no contact thingy and i changed my mind. I plan on keeping our relationship strictly platonic(I can't do that now..but i'll grow strong enough soon). I need this man in my life, he taught me alot and we once loved each other with fierce hot passion that could burn a room up. Not to mention he was my first love....and the last.
I never ever want a man to� put in the position where Eddy has put me .Nver will i let any man have thsi much control and power over my emotions. �I want to have the control and power. I'm going to be the Bo$$ bitch....Never again will i ever put a man before me myself and I(lol i'm crying) I guess Eddy really has hurt me more than i've let on. It's not only his fault its also mine.
Enough about him.....i need to go do something to cheer me up :)
Journey to Mecca
�
�� 今早我和敦敦研究了伊斯兰教的传播，我们对其五条教规产生了兴趣 （Five Pillars: declaring your belief in God；praying; fasting; giving to charity; and pilgrimage to Mecca.）。简单地说就是信念，祈祷，控欲，施予和精神追求。我们觉得麦加朝圣很神秘，敦敦说，过去没有现代交通工具，人一辈子也谈不上旅游，人们要靠着精神的力量，离开家园去追寻心灵的归宿。
��
�� �我曾经跟敦敦讨论生命的意义，我问敦敦：“人要是能永远活着是不是件好事？”敦敦回答：“永生并不是件好事。”但当时他并没有仔细陈述他的观点，昨天他练笔，写了下面这一段对‘永生’的灰色见地。仔细琢磨一下，长寿的确是好事，可永生就完全是另一码子事了。实际上，我们一生下来就上了路，一生都走在通往麦加的路上。
Thought about Eternal Existence
Living forever, never dying. Bearing the burden of the memories, branded into the mind through the ages. Feeling so near death, yet so far. Struggling for eternity, never-endingly questioning the reason of pain. Walking upon this dreary world, over and over, feeling confused emotions, tangled thoughts, irrational urges. Everyone dying around you, the world itself slowly being destroyed. Being the sufferer of all torture, the victim of all damnation. This is the world of the damned.
Hello there,
No news. Biology test today. Most likely failed. Who needs to know the reflex arc anyways? Sadist teacher. Enjoys our pain.
Short sentences. Don't ask.
*Sigh*. Nothing really to say. Just killing time before something more pressing comes along, ie, the Bio oral due last Tuesday. Sorry, Mme. T. Too bad. I am pretty sure that I will never be in a situation where the active ingredient in Dimetapp will be necessary information (short of a murderer sticking a knife at my throat and saying, "What's the main component in most cold medicines, or else...."). *DARN! THERE IS NO EXASPERATED SMILEY!* Oh well.
OH YES, guess what's coming back on tonight?! LOST!!!!! OH NO!!!! Ahahahaha, I'm so excited. My friend Lindsay is in complete denial--she's convinced Rousseau is alive after being shot in the chest. Multiple times. I mean, I'm completely devastated, but I know she's dead. Ah well. We will see.
We had an "Alcoholism" talk today. It was interesting, but I was inattentive. I don't know why I'm so restless these days. Hopefully I won't do something stupid. Pray for me�.
Well, I am going to go psych myself up for Lost. Ahhhh!
And since it's been a while, I will recommend.... a song. Beverly Hills, by Weezer. Ahaha, I love it. Check it out if you want.
Until the next time I remember I have an account here,
~Annabel
Wow-2nd entry this week, I'm on a roll.� Wasting time again-because I can't sleep.� I'm hoping I keep writing or surfing long enough to become exhausted and fall asleep.�� I have a lot going on so I can't seem to stop thinking about everything which is keeping me awake.
I went on an interview today-finally, it sounds promising, I'll keep my fingers crossed.� Swicthing jobs will help alleviate some of my mind wandering, so will my classes being over for the semester.� I've practically been ignoring my kids so I can write my papers and study for exams.�� this is why I should have finished college before getting married and having kids.� But-no use in thinking about what I should have done because it won;t get me anywhere.�
Learn from the past, live for today & don't worry about tomorrow!��� really what else can you do?
Feeling of fear is covering me.......
fear of losing someone.......fear of be hated by someone.......
i really scared tat there is someone who hates me........especially my best friend........
but if they really do.......i hope they can tell me "i dun like you anymore"�rather than to tell me "we r best friend" but acting like i am a toxic.........
so if u really dun like me anymore........please tell me by words�and not to tell me by act......at least i wun be tat hurt for u to tell and not for me to discovered my self......
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
today........i really scared tat i will lose u........but i knew tat tat was my fault......
no doubt i�am�too active, hyper active.........everytime i play will cause many problem like heat ppl eyes or even their XX .........
and today........i interupted u in a serius case........
i�was so regretful..........but i knew there was nth i can do.......so tat i stood beside u and just looking at u........
after that, when i knew u were fine already......my heart calm down.......
and the fear starting to claw over me.........and then i just suddenly cry.......
u must be very nervous tat time........but i din meant to let u worried or let u felt regret to angry with me........coz i knew tat it was my fault........
then things became normal after i stoped crying........
but things�will never stay in the same places.........
i can feel tat u might have a bit of angry to me or feel that i am fussy already........
this is wat i truely fear.......
u r a very good friend.......a good listener, a good teacher and also a best best best best best best best friend of mine.........
but i know my self...........i know tat i am a person who is affraid of everythingm when it comes to my friend............
so it makes me become a fussy person.......concern this concern tat...... and finally........u might run away becoz of my fussy.......
i dunwan this happen........if u really dun like�me talk this talk tat or maybe u dun like one of my habits.......please let me know........although i will be sad......but please........
sometimes u will regret after u tell me the truth, coz it might cause my tears drop........but please.......as a friend.......u should let me know rather than not to let me know..........
maybe u will say inside ur heart tat "next time dun wan tell her anymore.......coz she�will definitely cry.......".............but please dun.........
this will ony give me the thought tat i am not wrong and the mistake will be repeating and repeating till it has never end.........
i dun�want u to pretend that u like me.........i dun like pretend........it makes me feel sad coz i cant even know ur thoughts deep in ur�heart..........
u r the ony one i really cares about, cares about wat u think of me.........cares about how u think of me............and yet cares about who am i in ur heart?
it is so complicated......
it is time to sleep now......very late d.........
}good night ar.........
两个人的舞蹈
吾夫乃孝子也, 呵其夫, 护其母. 吾儿耳濡目染之.�
Same dance after 4 decades
四十年前您给我喂奶,
四十年后我为您熬汤.
四十年前您帮我盖被,
四十年后我为您铺床.
四十年前您哄我入睡,
四十年后我为您挠痒.
四十年前您扶我学步,
四十年后我搀您下床.
I GOT�ECLIPSE! AND I FINISHED IT!
Ok, ok, I will shut up now. I am obsessed, I'm sad to say. Funny story about that.... I was in English class and we were�reading�Romeo and Juliet (which I have already read. Twice.) Having acquired Eclipse only the day before, I sat with my copy of R+J on my lap with Eclipse inside it. And I read. Non-stop. The entire class. I think my teacher noticed (I wasn't really concerned about being caught. I just wanted to read.) but didn't say anything. Maybe she thought I was thoroughly entranced by Shakespeare. Don't get me wrong, I think Shakespeare is a genius, but I had other things on my mind (I was at the part where, if you have read it, Jasper is explaining his history... interesting stuff, that�). So I was there, reading, when I hear my teacher calling, "All right, who wants to be Romeo? Ok, you, Lesley. And who wants to be Juliet? How about.... WAIT." And I look up to see her staring at me and Charlotte, who's next to me doing the exact same thing as I am. "Look at those badasses!" my teacher said. "The quiet ones are always the rebels!" Char and I DIED laughing. We knew she wasn't really mad at us (a little frustrated maybe, but not mad. I mean, what kind of english teacher would be mad at students who are reading?). Although, she DID swear to us that next class we would have to do pretty well all the parts and NOT do some closet, under-the-desk reading. And we did. We suffered in silence and did as we were told. However, I consider this sufficient penance and will resume reading under the desk next class.
I have discovered something that is slightly ridiculous, but nonetheless helpful in many ways. When I read, I am usually completely and utterly absorbed by whichever book I am reading. Even when I stop, the book is usually on my mind (which makes it very difficult to have a coherent conversation with me). So, naturally, everyone assumes that when I read, I am transported spiritually to the book. Which is true. But I have a truly uncanny knack of managing to snap out of my literature-induced stupor in time to hear important information. For example, I will be reading, and suddenly I won't be at Hogwarts, in Middle Earth, on the HMS Dolphin, or in Tira or Bayern. Or even in Forks. I will resurface in time to hear my name in whatever conversation being carried on in my vicinity. Sometimes it's not my name. Other times it is information that I parents would have rather not told me. Other times it is family secrets or people's opinions or the news. I must have some "strange thing" receptor somewhere in my head, because otherwise.... Well. And when I do snap out of it, I don't jump or stretch of yawn. I continue pretending to read, because people will disclose so much more if they think they aren't being eavesdropped on. Which is, I am ashamed to say, what it boils down to.
Don't blame me. I don't ask to hear these things, and I am too curious to draw attention to myself so that they stop in time. Too bad for them.
I'll be back later. I need an opinion or two on an english project...
i walked to the duck pond and watched the fish i seen a large whit one,gold one spotted one and several silver ones,it is a fantastic lovely day,i found some purple flowers on a tree picked some and put them in a vase they smell very nicemi seen an orange moth flying past me,the sun is shining and it is such a lovely day the cat is healing almost gone are his injuries im working on healing my injuries are also almost gone and will be healed soon,the leaves on the roses are now alive and green my plant of� brown and yellow flowers came back to life and the leaves are so green and pretty soon it will produce yellow flowers i can put in a vase to brighten my home with,i noticed some people have already done the plowing to put in a garden im looking forward to the farmers market where i can buy fresh produce, it goes all summer an opean air market with lots of wonderful good things, this will be the best summer i have ever had� lots of changes for the better,changes in the way i think and feel,changes in where i go and who i asscoiate with,problems that have been plauginge me for years will be no more, im so looking foward to the summer with pic nics bbqs sitting on a blanket reading a good book watching the clouds go by campfires,just enjoying the very life christ died for so that i can have� i get so much enjoyment out of the simple things in life , my life is deventatley going to be a positive expierence starting today im doing all i can to make it that way�� enjoy thats what life is for good music good expeirence no fear,no negatitivity, just positive faith positive energy and happiness make it that way
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