view member journals

weight : 138lb��������� bmi: 25.2

so as you can tell im a little obsessed with my weight. well not exactly my weight, but i dont feel like i look as good as i could and with summer fast approaching, and my first holiday for four years, i need to get that beach body and QUICK. so i thought if i actually keep track of how i am doing i may actually feel guilty instead of just saying 'oh well' and continue to munch my way through another packet of biscuits. is that normal? i mean seriously, i come home and immedialtey head for the kitchen, hand streched out infront of me towards the familiar cupboard containg all the treats. so yeah... just under 10 stone, which some people may think is ok but then again i am only 5ft 2inches tall, so think again.

i� believe tht it is the end of an era as i have just this week finished my gcses which is so freaking good as i am the WORST at revising. i spent most of study leave watching tv. i really hate my housemistress at school as i had to see her yesterday to sign something and she started harrassing me into doing something for sports day and i feel like saying 'no f**k off'. she only care about her favourite pet pupils and it actually makes me sick. well i have the whole summer ahead to completely wipe any school memories from my mind and seeing as when i return some of the people that i hate will have gone,�i think that 6 form is going to be much better. we'll see...

havent done much today as people have been coming and going as they view the house, so i have been completely bored. this morning was histerical though because my mum was out and i was sitting on the sofa and my brother was admiring himself infront of the mirror. my dad shouts downstairs 'wheres the hairbrush' and comes running downstairs and leaps for it when he sees it on the table. at precisely the same time my brother grabs it and the poor old hairbrush had a quick and painless death as it was broken in two. once we had all finished laughing we started to think of the butt kicking that my mum would give too the two men of the house as it was her hairbrush, and my dad vainly tried to sellotape it back tgether again, saying weakly 'do you think she will notice?'

When strawberries flowers in the valley,and the roses all bloom.It is here I recall of us sitting beneath the rose covered arber.We weren't but kids.

You would always pick a rose to give to me,to wear on my pink cotton dress.

We would walk through the feilds with our dollies and gather wild strawberries� so sweet.

who shared in this summertime treat.When strawberries flowered in the valley,and the roses were in full bloom,I remember my childhood days and what I learn over this time in life.

��� by satinlady

i just noticed today that i havnt been on here for months mind you nowt much has changed .well i sorted out the problem with my parents at last .but nothing else has changed i'm still sick of not working so when i get my jnee fixed again then i'm going to look for a job .why ? well i'm skint fedup and bored to tears . i have the life of an o.a.p and i want more there has to be more i hate sitting here day in day out with nothing to do so knee fixed then work i'm sure there is somthing i can still do even if it is only for a couple of more years .I CANT STAND BEEING LONLEY ANY MORE .

Okay, SportyGirl15 is great, She beleives that god made us all the way we are supposed to be and now i am thinking "yeah thats true" so i ave tried my best to ignor any nasty comments or immitations about me or anyone i care about, thanks girl xxx

Lord,how I need the quite of a summer eve.

When heaven bends low�����������

to catch the tulmult of the teeming hours,

and cups them in the stillness of a placid time.

When birds sing softly and a mass of stars shine forth in peaceful benediction.

By satinlady

AKA Hilda Jackson Butts

It's now one O'clock in the morning,sleep is out of the question.Here I sit at the kitchen table,all is still this early morning.

I prayed you find this peace where you are now,the starsabove are so very bright,how I wish you could see them,but then I remember that you are smiling down on me.

The tears I shed,I need not to mention,you know my heart is heavy,missing your presence in every day.But�I am reassured,for now you have found santuary from pain.

Your eyes are forever closed,we'll miss you dearly sweet one,But I find my reassurance in what the Lord has done,your heart is now free of the chains that bound� it.

His gracious� savior,in whose love you'll now surrounded.Our Lord will protect you and keep you safe in all ways,so sleep on sweet one,mind not me.One day we'll meet again,and we'll let that comfort me.

�In loving memory of my mother

������ There is no love,like a mother's love,no stronger bond ,like the precious bond that comes when she gives birth.

A mothers love is forever strong,never changing at all....and when her children needs her,that mother love comes shining .

God bless all the mother's,for all the tears and heartaches,and for the special work that they do.

When her days on earth are over,a mother love lives on through generations to come.

Be thankful for our mothers,for their love with a higher love...from the power that God has given,and the strength that he provides them with.

�Written by satinlady

In memory of my mother who passed away April the 2nd of 2008

Do you ever wonder���������

What it would be like to feel the thunder?

To sit up in the sky,

And watch as the days pass by?

Do you ever think about the past,

And how everything fell apart in one big BLAST!?

And as�you hit the ground,

Was your love for me drowned?

�

Did you ever think about the day,

When everything in your world turned gray?

Did�you ever here me call to you?

Just wishing that you only knew...

�

Have you ever stoped to think,

That�our world could�be gone in one blink?

As everything is torn apart,

There will be nothing�left to heal a broken heart...

�

So here I am again,

Thinking about the end...

To scared to know whats to come,

Because your love was�like a deadly venom...

�