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Trace 61, Female, USA - 38 entries

Sep 2006
6:30 PM EDT

This is the first of my entries on this site.

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allycat 31, Female, USA - 12 entries

Sep 2006
5:31 AM EDT

i'm so excited for this weekend... theres this big activity going on at my trailler!! but it might rain so it might notb that fun!

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allycat 31, Female, USA - 12 entries

Sep 2006
5:16 AM EDT

yesterday, was strange i listened to the radio all day long!

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prdiva87 38, Female, Florida, USA - 26 entries

Sep 2006
12:25 PM EDT

Today nothing happened so far. Just working on my research for my biology class and looking at places to volunteer. It has been pretty boring. I will let you know if anything interesting is happening. bye.

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lmm27295 44, Female, Florida, USA - 15 entries

Aug 2006
7:21 AM EDT

Surprisingly, I had a nice evening yesterday after work. I went home and a bad thunderstorm came up and I love storms so B and I stayed in the garage for a while and watched it. Then when we went inside he curled up on the couch and napped while I cleaned the kitchen and washed clothes. Afterwards, I watched my soap and ate a snack. Then Zoie, B and I went and curled up in the bed. I could not sleep so Zoie and I got up and stayed in the bed and slept through the night. I watched a lil TV and piddle around and then Zoie and I went back to bed. It was so nice. I felt like I had some "ME" time. I got to see B but at the same time got to relax and just have some down time. I hope this evening will be that way again. It is rainy today and today is La's last day here at work.

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mistaken4u 40, Female, Florida, USA - 3 entries

Sep 2006
4:06 AM ACDT

So today i finally organised a ticket for Michael to see BLS next month, his tickets all paid for, and he seems very happy about it, which in turn makes me happy:D Also paid for mine and michaels tickets to see Kisstroyer a kiss tribute band who are playing here in logan on the 7th, that should be hell funny. FRONT ROW! woot! i'm excited about that heh. Can't wait. I'm really over all these fucking backstabbing pricks i've found out about in the last few days, it's doing my head in, Atleast Talitha know's exactly what i'm talking about and stuff, so that makes me feel a little better. Still my head hurts from too much pondering/thinking about all this shit.

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mistaken4u 40, Female, Florida, USA - 3 entries

Sep 2006
4:06 AM ACDT

Ok so today is the 3rd anniversary I have been with Michael, It's kind of funny, you always see a shit load of chicks that count the days and want gifts for every like two weeks they are with someone. And if that’s a sign as to how fucking long a lot of chicks can stay in a relationship that’s just fucking pathetic in my eyes. I don't think that you need to give presents on an anniversary, isn't it thanks enough that you are with that person? I mean fuck I didn't even REMEMBER Michael did ha take that all you dumb asses. I Couldn't care less as long as I remember "around" the time I’ve been with him, Because what the fuck is the point it counting the years when I’m going to be with him for the rest of my life? Hmmm.. Not much point to it. So Michael pulled me aside, Said happy anniversary and that was damn enough for me, I couldn't ask for anything more. Just a few minutes for a hug makes me happier than any pathetic gift that will ultimately end up a worthless piece of shit in a few years anyway. Such value on material things it makes me sick sometimes how most people feel the need to validate their importance with useless objects. *shrug* Not my problem. I mean sure I like buying things, and I like owning things I like, but I don't use them to show I mean something, you don't need anything for that. I don't need a fancy house or car to say, "Hey I’m worth something". People who do will end up alone and have nothing anyway so why bother at all. So I sit here, fuck all food and nowhere to go, but happy as a pig in shit or however that saying goes. I couldn't want anything more right now.... well maybe a pack of smokes, but apart from that...there isn't anything I need. I guess that's the great thing about being happy. You don't really want or feel the need for much else. It's kinda nice. I remember what it felt like to want everything, to waste my money of pointless garbage. It was a pretty hollow existence, and I’m still only now recovering from the hole I ended up digging myself into. But now I just don't care, I don't give a damn. Maybe that's because I can't trust anyone (my friends) OR maybe it was just a sign that I don't NEED them. That's more plausible to me right now. Sure I do have friends, one's that have been with me, since I was 4 years old and didn't know what life was going to be like and played barbies in the driveway and their great, But I just don't care to try and forge any new friendships with people who are going to backstab anyway. Not really my style. Started reading this book that Jen leant me a few days ago called Life Magic, It's all about the goddess and gods in various cultures, and it's been a pretty good read. Very interesting information. And something a little different to what I’m used to reading. Normally I prefer the Fictional variety of books, anything from the Alien's series to Anne Rice and Steven King, Even a bit of Christopher Golden (aka Buffy the Vampire slayer series of books). So it's been a nice change so far, and I still have a few other interesting books she lent me to read. I may even read them a few times before I give them back to her, just so I make sure that I absorb the information in them properly. I tend to find, when I read a non-fictional book my mind has trouble remembering exactly what I was supposed to have learned. So I need to read it a few times for anything to really sink in. That always make School pretty hard, with homework and all, as you get week to read one book once, and then have to answer questions about what you had read, yet most of the time I had trouble remembering even a third of what I was supposed to have learned. Maybe that’s one of the reasons I left school, one of many reasons, but still it really added to the problems I think. I've been temped to go to Tafe and learn what I missed out on in the later years of high school. But really I wouldn't even know where to begin. I don't even know what I’m interested in, or what at this point of my life I want to DO with myself, never mind taking that first step and starting somewhere. So i've just taken to letting life teach me what I need and learn anything I’m interested in from books at home and in my own time. I guess that’s why after high school distance education never worked either. Sure I have the opportunity to learn things on my own terms, but what I was learning wasn't my choice and always seemed bland and uninteresting. So I never really made much effort at it. I kind of wish I had now, or even that I’d tried harder to make the whole high school thing work, but there's really not much point in wishing about that now as I can't go back and do it again. I can only go from where I am now, and try to make up for what I missed. It's frustrating too, I see Michael’s brothers starting to make the same mistakes I did, and really not be able to do anything about it. I just KNOW that if they head down the same path, they'll get to a point in their lives when they wonder what it would have been like if they'd stayed in school and prepared themselves better for their lives ahead. But really their ain't jack I can do to stop them from making those same mistakes I did. It's something you have to learn for yourself, but by the time you do learn, most of the time it's too late to do anything about it really. Hmm so wow this has been a bit of a rant/thought blog/entry. I wasn't intending to write. But still it's good to just get it down and not have to worry about it anymore.

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mistaken4u 40, Female, Florida, USA - 3 entries

Sep 2006
4:06 AM ACDT

You've gotta love when you rub someone the wrong way when your doing your job, and they take it the wrong way and start some pathetic little blog. a Blog they think they can sit there and bitch and moan about people and not seem like a whining tart. On the surface they make it seem like they are learned and know what they are really on about. But they are just covering up for their own little insecurities. But i guess it's going to happen at some point. But still it's just hilarious. They write all these harsh things about people they really don't know the first thing about. Sure i'm sitting here writing things about them and i don't know them and being a complete contradiction but i really don't care, Or then again, maybe i DO know them. I have a few ideas, But i'm not telling a sole who i think, it'll start too much shit and drama i just can't be bothered caring about. It's odd, i seem to have surrounded myself with what i 'though' were good people and friends. BUT really they are all just a bunch of backstabbing bitches who will dump on you the first chance they get, BUT only if they can do it as still remain anonymous. It's all just...too funny. I can't stop laughing.

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Liz101 34, Female, Florida, USA - First entry!

Aug 2006
7:16 PM EDT

This journal is mostly for my poetry so every one can read.

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lmm27295 44, Female, Florida, USA - 15 entries

Aug 2006
7:04 AM EDT

I am so ill today. B & I fought last night as usual & went most of the evening not speaking. I am so tired of this same old cycle. It was over him thinking that I don't do enough around the house and us not ..... It was B's idea not to have.... anymore till June 23 and now the issue is that I am not giving him...... Before he always complained that we were not together enough and now that we are not (by his choice), he is mad b/c I am not doing the other. It is always something. I cannot take it anymore. I am not happy at all. Anytime I try to sit down nd talk w/ him he is rude, he gets mad, raises his voice and says mean things to hurt my feelings. I am so tired of feeling like s***. I am suppose to be happy right now about planning a wedding and I really could care less if we get married to him. He always says things about "I don't want to spend the rest of my life w/ you if......." Well, I feel the same d**n way. I don't want to spend the rest of my life w/ a man who only cares about 1 thing and cannot even sit down like a grown-up to have a discussion w/o throwing blankets off the bad or calling me a b***h. I asked him to say "I'm sorry" for the hurtful things that he said. His response: "Not until u say I'm sorry for not giving me a bj" How imature is that! I just want to get in us face and scream "GROW UP" It has gotten to the point that I don't even want to go home after work. When I go home in the evenings, it is no fun at all. I have to put up w/ hearing "Let me f**k in the a** and him grabbing me all evening long! I cannot even lay on the bed for 5 mins to rest w/o him bugging the hell out of me. I have no "ME" time what so ever. I am starting to miss Whall's hrs b/c at least then I had time to myself. I am glad that Barney is attracted to me. It makes me feel important but it is to the extreme. I am to the point now I could care less if I ever had s** again. He has pushed me so far away w/ that area but still blames me for it all. You don't go up to a woman and grad her ***** and say "let me f*** you". And heaven forbid I talk to anyone about our problems. I cannot even talk to the dog! I cannot keep bottling this up. He tells me to only talk to him but when I do I get treated like s**t. I should not have to be with someone that I don't even feel like I can communicate with. He does not understand that I work all day long and when I get home I want to enjoy the evening by relaxation, not by being his personal porn star.

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