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You searched for: Tag: blame
    tellxmexwhy  26, Female, North Carolina, USA - 4 entries
11
Dec 2009
8:07 PM EDT
   

It's Been a While

Wow, it has been a loooong time since I wrote. I have just been too busy to get on the computer, much less come on here. A lot has happened since the day I got my nose pierced. I broke my ankle 2 weeks ago, but it's almost better now thank goodness. And I also lost my friends. I guess it's just teenage drama but I'll let you know what happened anyway simply for the fact that I need to vent and I can't trust anyone else. I know you won't tell. lol So anyways, my friends have helped me with my stuff the past 2 weeks. Ya know getting around school and everything since I was on crutches and whatnot. So one of my best friends got a new phone. The next day it fell out of her pocket book and broke while she was helping me. Now, apparently, it's my fault. She has practically the whole school hating me and every one is calling me a b**** and saying I'm rude and blah blah blah. I have never gotten so many hate texts in my life! Well, I had an emotional meltdown at school today and I did the unthinkable-I cried. In front of everyone. And not once, but twice. I hate crying in front of people; it makes me feel so weak and vulnerable. Well, now I'm friendless and every one hates me. I didn't even do anything! I mean, I know people who are guilty always say that but I am honestly telling the truth! I. did. nothing. wrong. But, of course everyone blames me, the crippled. I always get blamed for everything! So, like, literally the whole school hates me. Every time I hobble by they whisper about me like I can't even hear them. But oh well. This too shall pass, and karma's a beast. They will soon regret ever giving me up. And if they don't then I didn't really need them to begin with. Right? I don't need them and their drama and their talking about people. I may be a "b****" but at least I'm a nice one. And I really do believe that I'm a good friend. Others might not think that but who cares? I'll eventually find some one who is a true friend; some one who is worth my time and my tears. I regret crying, I really do. I think they were tears of anger. I think I know why the loners at school are...well...loners. It is probably best to be a loner. At least you don't have to put up with anyone's bullcrap. But I am a Libra, a social butterfly. I just have to socialize or I will go insane! I just don't know what to do. I guess I will try to be a loner since no one wants to talk to me. Since I have become a leper. *sigh* Why do things have to crash and burn right when life is starting to get good? But maybe life wasn't getting good then, maybe it's getting good now. Maybe I was supposed to break my ankle so that I would open my eyes and realize (I rhymed heehee) that my "friends" were wearing a big fat mask the whole time. True, it does hurt. A whole year of friendship went right down the toilet, but maybe it's for the best. Like a quote by Publilious Syrus, "A friendship that can end never really began." Maybe our friendship never even began. So, I don't know what's going to happen. I'm gonna just go to school and hold my head held high and act like being hated don't bother me. Now that that little rant is over with I am gonna go read some before bed. Wish me luck and merry Christmas everyone!

2 comment(s) - 08:19 PM - 02/08/2010
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