tellxmexwhy's Journal

Dec 2009
8:07 PM EDT

It's Been a While

Wow, it has been a loooong time since I wrote. I have just been too busy to get on the computer, much less come on here. A lot has happened since the day I got my nose pierced. I broke my ankle 2 weeks ago, but it's almost better now thank goodness. And I also lost my friends. I guess it's just teenage drama but I'll let you know what happened anyway simply for the fact that I need to vent and I can't trust anyone else. I know you won't tell. lol So anyways, my friends have helped me with my stuff the past 2 weeks. Ya know getting around school and everything since I was on crutches and whatnot. So one of my best friends got a new phone. The next day it fell out of her pocket book and broke while she was helping me. Now, apparently, it's my fault. She has practically the whole school hating me and every one is calling me a b**** and saying I'm rude and blah blah blah. I have never gotten so many hate texts in my life! Well, I had an emotional meltdown at school today and I did the unthinkable-I cried. In front of everyone. And not once, but twice. I hate crying in front of people; it makes me feel so weak and vulnerable. Well, now I'm friendless and every one hates me. I didn't even do anything! I mean, I know people who are guilty always say that but I am honestly telling the truth! I. did. nothing. wrong. But, of course everyone blames me, the crippled. I always get blamed for everything! So, like, literally the whole school hates me. Every time I hobble by they whisper about me like I can't even hear them. But oh well. This too shall pass, and karma's a beast. They will soon regret ever giving me up. And if they don't then I didn't really need them to begin with. Right? I don't need them and their drama and their talking about people. I may be a "b****" but at least I'm a nice one. And I really do believe that I'm a good friend. Others might not think that but who cares? I'll eventually find some one who is a true friend; some one who is worth my time and my tears. I regret crying, I really do. I think they were tears of anger. I think I know why the loners at school are...well...loners. It is probably best to be a loner. At least you don't have to put up with anyone's bullcrap. But I am a Libra, a social butterfly. I just have to socialize or I will go insane! I just don't know what to do. I guess I will try to be a loner since no one wants to talk to me. Since I have become a leper. *sigh* Why do things have to crash and burn right when life is starting to get good? But maybe life wasn't getting good then, maybe it's getting good now. Maybe I was supposed to break my ankle so that I would open my eyes and realize (I rhymed heehee) that my "friends" were wearing a big fat mask the whole time. True, it does hurt. A whole year of friendship went right down the toilet, but maybe it's for the best. Like a quote by Publilious Syrus, "A friendship that can end never really began." Maybe our friendship never even began. So, I don't know what's going to happen. I'm gonna just go to school and hold my head held high and act like being hated don't bother me. Now that that little rant is over with I am gonna go read some before bed. Wish me luck and merry Christmas everyone!

2 comment(s) - 08:19 PM - 02/08/2010
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Current Tags: ankle, blame, end, fight, friend, friendship, move on

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tellxmexwhy's Profile

  • Username: tellxmexwhy
  • Gender / Age: Female, 31
  • Location: USA - North Carolina
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    About Me: *Note about purple boxes* I have no idea what those purple boxes are that are above, but I can't get them to go away. I have tried everything. Sorry. :( ____________________________________ I'm just your average teenager. Actually, no not really. There isn't anything average about me. I'm weird, random, crazy, and probably the coolest dork you'll ever know. But besides that, I guess I'm...tolerable haha. :) I laugh A LOT! Some people say too much. But, who cares, right? They say smiling and laughing makes you healthier or something like that. So, I see no problem w/ that. Family and friends are very important to me. I love to meet new people, probably cuz I'm good at it. I read and write a lot, too. Those are my mega hobbies. I write for myself and no one else. But I like to have a lil constructive criticism every now and then lol. I LOVE music and singing. I'm not sure if I'm that good or not, but I do it anyways. I honestly don't know what I would do w/o music. Music, literally, keeps me sane! If anyone could ever see inside my head, it would probably look like a circus. There would be acrobats, clowns (which I'm terrified of, by the way), elephants, the whole shebang. I have a million ideas going through my head at once. Only a few are noticed, though.

    Interests: Reading, writing, shopping, listening to music, hanging out with my friends

    Favorite Music: I love alternative, rock, country, contemporary gospel. Pretty much anything, really.

    Favorite Movies: Titanic, The Notebook, A Walk to Remember, The Lake House, Twilight, P.S. I Love You, Meet The Robinsons, Ice Age 1,2,&3, Transformers 1&2, all the Fast and the Furious movies, and MANY more.

    Favorite Television: House, Bones, The Secret Life of the American Teenager, 10 Things I Hate About You, Gilmore Girls, What I Like About You, Degrassi, and more.

    Favorite Books: All books by: Stephenie Meyer, Ally Cater, Nicholas Sparks, Meg Cabot, Sarah Dessen, Judy Blume, and James Patterson. I read A LOT haha.

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