writer1chick's Journal

 
    
03
Apr 2007
12:14 AM EDT
   

Did you ever feel that you couldn't sleep? Even though it was late at night and there's nothing open. But you were in the dancing mood? In a way it is a Great feeling but still you can't saticfie your craveing to dance cause of the time. Well that's how I feel right now. It's 413 in the morning and I'm bored out of my mind wanting to go out and dance.. Just thought I would tell a bunch of people that I don't know if they ever felt the same way...
BY JANIE BERD......
1 comment(s) - 07:35 AM - 04/03/2007
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30
Mar 2007
10:17 AM EDT
   

Last night I couldn't sleep. I kept tossing and turning. I had a nightmare and it bothered me all night. I just couldn't stay still and I was sweating up a storm. But what else scared me was the way I woke up from this dream. I woke up in a sweaty panic I jumped up from my dream like I don't know. Never had a dream like this before.
When you sleep do you ever feel yourself falling in real life when you falling in your dreams? Do you feel your self wiggle or just drop that it just wakes you up from your dream? Well that happens too me all the time. My dreams I remember most of them but others when there not important I just don't remember. I dream in color and I hear and smell everything it's like I'm really in them and sometimes I love my dreams cause it's me living a great life.
Last night I had a dream that I was just walking like I always do when I'm in the park. Then the day goes on and day comes to evening and I left the park. I went home and took a shower but I was feeling something strange. Like I wasn't alone in my house but I just shrugged the feeling off and I continued the shower. I got out of the shower got dress and walked out of my house. I didn't know were I was going But I did in my dream still don't know. While I was driving the roads were bright and dry. All of the sudden It's was pitch black and pouring. I was still driving and I was stopped by traffic police they said How are you detective. I went to a murder scene and I was taking evidence and just observing everything. I was in my office looking at all the murders I was investigating and I found out a clue that they were all linked they were all women in there early 30's all tall women and all women of the law. They were all off duty police offers. Then I heard a noise and I opened the door and there was my captain. He told me to open this box and I opened it. When I opened it there was a whitebright light it shocked me out of my sleep and I woke up sweaty and out of breath.
It's just I never had that dream and just wanted too tell it to someone.
Did anyone have a dream and a couple of days later it happened in real life. Well most of my dreams I see in my life and sometimes it scares me a lot.... Well bye for now
Janine Berd....
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29
Mar 2007
3:08 PM EDT
   

I'm told someone that I really cared for that I had feelings for him but he must it took it the wrong way cause I haven't heard from him since. It's been almost a week in a half now. I don't mind him not answering back or not having the same feelings back towards me, but the thing that I don't like it gets me really mad is when I call him too see if he was ok cause the way he left he had an emergency. So I called him the day after too see if everything was ok. But he didn't pick up. Actually he didn't pick up until three days later and said he will call me back cause he was busy. I haven't got the call back from him. What am I suppose too think. You know I get this a lot from men even men I don't tell anything too I just speak my mind and it's like I had too stay shut. Well that F***ING BULL SHIT. I'm not going too stay shut for any MAN or WOMEN. My mind is what I have too show the world that and my personality. I'm not going too stay shut anymore. Well if the time is not right I confront later but other then that. It's Bull Shift that men/women play with people's feeling's no one deserves that. They know it to there just F***ing players. Let's just say " People who don't show love too people that give love isn't worth the scum off the bottom of our shoes" Well that's just my Opinion . Everybody is in titled too there own Opinion.
Just too say it hurts me that he's going too Reunion a good friendship just causehe is a air head and he doesn't know what he want's in life.

The pain I have is aAgony pain it's mostly my emotions getting too me but I can't let them go Ican't cry. I just have too take this experience and live off it and don't make this same choice I chose too do and tell a guy how I feltabout him.

But I regret to say I feel that I'm going too run again this was a step forward telling him how I felt, Now I'm taking a step or two back

1- Have too get too know him really good and not get too close to him.

2- When I feel something and it's getting strong just trunk and walk the other way and don't look back.

Witch I really don't want I want to be happy and to be loved...

Well lets just see what happens it's still early.

BY - JANINE BERD....

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28
Mar 2007
11:17 AM EDT
   

Have you ever felt? Have you ever told someone how you felt about them and never got the same feelings back? Or have you told them how you felt then all of a sudden they had too leave as an emergency? Then they don't call you back and when you call them too see how there doing they don't pick up the calls. Your probably think three thing's 1- Something happened and there not ok. But what are those's chances maybe 10 out of 100%. LOL. That's a big number but still we don't know. 2- They heard what you said and just avoided that subject and just forgets about you. And just deletes you from there life. Too tell you all the truth that probably happens too a lot of us! 3- Just thinking very long and is just a coward too tell there true feeling back wither it's good or bad. But then there realizing little by little they made a bad mistake. Witch that's very rear. LOL. Well I made that mistake in telling someone I really care for that I have feelings for him. But He must of got it the wrong way I had feeling as a really goo friend and wants to get too know each other more. As I was getting too that part he said He had too go and that it was an emergency. LOL. I haven't heard from him since. Actually I called him too see if he was ok and didn't pick up his phone. Then just a little while I called him too confront him and he said hey can I call you back later? I'm busy. LOL. How many of you people think he's going too call back. They all, I mean we all say that but do we really call that person back? But sooner or later he will feel really stupid and say what they HELL did he do. He just lost a really good friend that makes me laugh and I make her belly ache of laughter. When we were talking one day on the phone he just yelled out " Oh my god we have so much in common" That made me feel nice cause he was actually listing. LOL. Then after a while he text ed me. " Hey I'm going too nickname you Juicy Lips, Ok Juicy Lips ." LOL. That was great cause I never had someone or a man nickname me before. It's just I don't know. He was the first guy in a long time I was getting attached too. But I hope sooner or later he will realize what he's done. I realize what I have done and I don't regret it cause see I made him think of something worth thinking. Just hope he realizes it Well bye for now Janine Berd....
2 comment(s) - 12:53 PM - 03/30/2007
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27
Mar 2007
5:30 AM EDT
   

To tell you all the truth I brag about love. How great it feels and wonderful the feeling too love is. But too tell you all the truth I do not love of my own. I worship the thought of love but never felt it's true powers of it. We a loan for the feeling of love and ask our self's how do we obtain that feeling. But we don't not get the feeling fed too us we have too wait and not look for it. That's what I don't get it will come too us when the time is right. But why is it taking so long we all say. Some of us are blessed with a great gift when You find your love or soul mate then others just can't take the pressure of being alone then that's when we have too settle with a woman or man. It's for all genders come on men and women are looking for the same thing deep inside of there hearts they all urn the feeling of love. They get all excited of the thought of love and just too be with that one that they can't keep out there mind and stop laughing for no apparent reason. Why is that? No one knows. LOL. It's just a great feeling love that in a way takes control of your body and mind and heart. It makes you a different person and too be that different person is so great and you don't care. You change for the best of both or you's and the world that's what you and we all think. When our bad habits and daily tasks just change too add a other person and just live life for the both of you's. To tell you all the truth we all well feel that feeling sooner or later it not form the different sex then you'll find it any sex. Love is love and you can't hide what you feel and no one can tell you other. Your feelings are your feelings, and you have the RIGHT to go for them and take what's yours and keep it until you can't let go. Ok now I'm thinking your saying what the heck is this girl saying. But too tell you a little something. I might still a teen and I just turned of legal age. But no one can tell me How I feel. I didn't grow up with people telling me not too feel my feeling. But I grow up with people not letting me express them cause I was to young. " BULL SHIT" Your never to young for you feeling too be released. It's just your probably too young too let them out in a way that the world could feel what your feeling. I don't know if you guy's are understanding me maybe you do or maybe in the future you will or hey maybe your getting too realize it just this min or even sec. We might not know this now but there is so much love in the energy. I feel, that love energy and I don't want too let it go. Maybe when I meet the right person we will feel that feeling together and he could know How much love we have around us.
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27
Mar 2007
1:40 PM EDT
   

Thoughts that are in my head for someone really special. I'm not over you cause I was never on you. Long time passed and I have never met you. I'll never bought you, It's not me too complain. It isn't over cause we never started. You tear me up cause I haven't found you. I never thought I found you. But time will tell. Long time has passed. I'm not over you. I want too be with you dream and when You wake up I'm there. I want too stand by your side, I want you forever. Were are you ??? I want too play with you in every loving way possible. I'll love you in anyway possible you want me too. I want to be your soul and heart. I want you to be by my life when I'm touching my self that's how I want you to make love with me. Show me what it is like too love some one. Teach me your feelings for someone. Cause all I need is you to be with me and I'll show you who I really am. I'll show you the world from my eyes. I'm not falling for you cause your not here too be fallen for. I'll leave my life behind for you. All I need is you. Say it ! Say you love me. Save me from my life and make a new one with me. I have not found any love here were I am now. I need too find you. I'm screaming too find you. But now I'll just wait until your in my heart and in my life. But now I'll just dream of the day when You appear in my life and save me from this mean but beautiful world and lonely but happy life. I'll wait until the day I meet you and declare my love for you and show The world my love for you. In my way. In your way. In our way. But until we wait for that day I'm thinking on how your going too steal heart from this place. Make my heart a prisoner and your my warden... Not in a bad way just in our love you will always have me and I will always have you. Till then were dreaming of each other until the day comes and were set free too see. Who we really are with each other. Hey lets just see It could get really interesting and exciting for that day. LOL.... Well just think everyone we all have someone out there the you have met already or haven't met yet. But time will tell and having time is patients.. " Patients is a virtue".... What do they Mean by that? Oh we will all find out sooner or later........ Bye for now Janine Berd......
1 comment(s) - 06:11 PM - 03/27/2007
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26
Mar 2007
11:26 PM EDT
   

Saturday I felt a feeling that I had never felt before. I just was so in tuned with my feelings and soul as I felt. When I was holding my cousins hand I felt so much Love that I got a orgasm in my mind it was a great feeling. I never felt that feeling before. I was just looking at everything, and everything was so beautiful. I felt everything in the greatest way. I was alone in the living room when everyone left. I was listing too music and I was making love I have never mad love in this way before. I felt the beats of the music and It was tearing me apart cause I didn't know what side too stay in. There were three sides. 1. To be myself and confront the world of whom I really am. 2. To be what people want me too be and just be a shadow. 3. To clean up and fix myself and brush everything away. Just live what I normally live in the shadows of whom I really am. Then there was a time that I went so Crazy that I didn't know what side too choose and that's when I was shaking too choose my true self and that's when I had the best orgasms I had ever felt in my life. It felt When I was going too choose the side that always do too be a shadow I was having an affair with my true feelings and it tore me apart. I went crazy and That's when I F***ED my self for the first time and I felt so dirty. It's not a great feeling when Your***ING yourself. I was having an affair with my life and I was F****** my true feelings. Had you ever felt that before? To tell you the damn truth I didn't know what the Hell I felt before that day and Now I do know. I was and I am a show. I am a show for what people want too see and I don't know how too leave, that shadow life I want too be the figure that makes the shadow. There was a time on my little experience that I was caressing my self and just feeling my self the way that I always wanted too be felt. That's when I was making love with my self I was showing the world who I can really be. I loved that about myself. But I still had the half smile that I always had. It's something I always had since forever it tells something about me That I just realized. I'm a two faced person but come on everybody is in the own way. I'm two faced cause I don't want anyone too dislike me. That's why I hide in the shadows. That's why I F*** my feeling and have affairs with my true self cause I love too be loved and no one wants too love me in the way that I want too be loved. So that's why I have too hide and be a F***ING shadow. I went too the left and laughed at the people that I act like but then I cry at the people that I truly am. Then I just clean everything up. Why the hell am I like this. I can't choose what I want. I want myself too be happy and I don't know what side am I'm truly happy with. The truth was I'm so tired of being alone. I feel so alone and It's killing me inside that's why I am like this cause in all three side I have someone. But the all don't like the opposite side. LOL. I don't think most of you people understand but sooner or later you will. I didn't think I would of realized it until I was old and gray. But in a way it's great feeling too feel this and finally feel what you truly feel deep inside. Well There's a little Experiences I had and It was one of a kind BY JANINE C, BERD.....
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26
Mar 2007
11:11 PM EDT
   

A feeling that was and is so great. I can't even Imagine. This feeling I never felt so in tuned with my self/ mind/ body and soul. I know your like what is she saying. I'm saying I had a experience with myself that I had never had before and I loved it. In a way I felt so much love and anger. Choosing which way to go, but in the end I always choose my old way. Fixing myself and getting ready for the new day. Always brushing away my anger and true feeling for everyone else and not myself. How do I open the door got my own life? I just felt my life there I never knew that body language can tell you How a person really is. I was pushing away the good holding the bad but then, Letting them both in and letting one out. I don't know!
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writer1chick's Profile

  • Username: writer1chick
  • Gender / Age: Female, 31
  • Location: USA - New York
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    WRITER1CHICK's Interests:

    About Me: Hmmm Well I'm in cia Culianry inst of america I like too read Mytholgy and write long and short stories. Like ever women or girl. I like too shop and have a great time with friends. I like too hike and just walk in the park. Also just hang alone and have a great time alone.

    Interests: I like too read, write,cook shop hang with freinds and just have a great time. Thats good fun.

    Favorite Music: Alternative music. Rock punk and indie anything but rap.

    Favorite Movies: Laybrinth, Blue Lagoon, The Boondock Saints,EXT,EXT

    Favorite Television: Full House. Will and Grace Lifetime movie network Lifetime for women King of Queens EXT EXT

    Favorite Books: Lurane Mcdanile Greek and Roman Mytholgy folk tails and legdends romance drama