sexiicupcake's Journal

Mon. - Nov. 26, 2007 - 11:14 AM EDT

um lots of stuff i need to get out!!!!! Need Advice bad!!!

heyy everyone!!! I have alot of stuff i need to get out.. I need as much advice as i can get!! Okay so lets start by saying that I love rick to death. I would do anything for him. He means the world to me!! Lets start with um how he tells me beautiful even when i dont think i am. He told me i looked beautiful with my big black eye.. I was like awww.. He's the only guy that makes me smile without even trying.Which is a great thing.. Now ima tell you that we decided to "talk" exclusively. Well because i asked him. If im the only gurl your with and your the only guy im with that why cant we just date. and he told me we could "talk" for now and that maybe in a week or too we could start dating. I mean I honestly think i am in love with this boii. Everytime im with him i get this great feeling. I mean we are GREAT together. Its just sometimes wen we aren't together we get in quite a few fites and that we get mad at each other for a while. But i just need your advice on what I should do. I mean should i be with him..or what..gimme advice

1 comment(s) - 07:46 AM - 05/24/2009

Mon. - Nov. 12, 2007 - 10:36 AM EDT

heyy everone i just wanted to tell you some info thats up to date. Okay me and rick are actually done liie for good. we have been for quit a while now. Um I am talking to this kid now. were finally officially dating..I like him alot. Hoping it works out. My sis moved back home cause her husband and her are seperated so the thing that sux is i gotta share a room with her. well thats it for now bye

Tues. - Sep. 18, 2007 - 10:21 AM EDT

heyy everyone whats been going on?? Ok so over this past summer i will admit that some crazyy shit went on?? I mean me and roger broke up which you all know and than a few weeks later i had sex with this kid rick who roger knows very well.. ricky used to date rogers twin sister.. ok soo i mean me and rick just thought it was gunna be a one nite stand than i realized it couldnt be cause i am not like that.. He said he wasnt ready to date me and recently he's been telling me all this shit about being exclusive with each other because wen were not together he hates to think of me with another guy.. I mean what can i do.. Soo we hung the other day and accidently did it but the thing i dont get is why after every time he stops talking to me i mean honestly..This kid is like everything to me.. He is the only boy that i have told almost my whole life too.. I mean he is my best friend but than my lover at the same time.. We were talking the other day and he told me something that shocked me.. And he thought i would be madd but i cnat be mad over something like that cause it will just make it worse and than that wont be good..soo i told him i would be there for him through it and its cause i care abvout him to much to see him hurt.. He told me he likes me and thats not a problem and that wanting to be with me isnt a problem he keeps telling me he's the problem cause hes not perfect.. But hey who is perfect.. no one.. Im a pretty shitty person.. The one guy i think i love wont give me a chance cause he thinks he will get rach back and the thing is she doesnt want him.. I mean i dont understand why he wont just give me a chance see what happens..ya know.. he said when he comes back from dayton on friday we are gunna hang more and see if anything sparks.. I cant promise it will all i can do is hope becaus ei actually think i am in love with this kid iwould do anything for him..well im gunna go pleas etell me what you think pleaseeee

<3 Judi

Mon. - Aug. 20, 2007 - 8:11 AM EDT

heyy everyone i know i havent been on in a while.. I have a lot of shit that has gone on..ok so over the summer my best guy friend in the world and i kinda hooked up a couple of times.. yeaa thats a oops unless the guy actually wants to be with you.. Ya know but yes i dont know if he does.. He used to tell me he did but he doesnt anymore..it makes me soo sad and upset and you dont know how bad it makes me feel like a booty call like only when he needs some he comes to me..but yea i dont know im trying to tell him everything and how i feel about him but he wont tell me anything i mean we used to be great friends and would talk about anything he would text me every morning and say goodmorning and then goodnight at night..he stopped doing that and i have no idea why.. I mean cant he tell me why.. I dont know all i know is that recently i realized that i like him and i dont like anyone else and i want him only him but the thing is i dont know if he still likes me.. I mean i think he does but how do i know for sure. Thats the ting i dont know cause he wont tell me..but hey if we ar esuch great friends than shouldnt he want to tell me and let me know everything thats going on.. thats all i want to know i mean all i want to know is tthat im not a botty call and he actually likes me and shit ya know..well heyy im gunna go cause its 8 am and i havent slept even a min at all this past night...But please someone give me advice about this..i need it bad

Sun. - Jul. 15, 2007 - 10:22 AM EDT

heyyy everyone whats up. I havent wroten in a while so i thought i would. I just want you all to knoe i am completely over roger and it is great and there have been a couple lil relationships with me that havent worked, but i found this guy and hes great and awesome and i think we are gunna make it. All i told him is i want him to respect me, meaning sexually and he agreed that he would. How great is that. I am happy cause i will only be having sex if i want to an if i am ready you knoe. But yea i just wanted to tell u all that i thought i would never get over roger and now look at me i am and im happy with chucky..well im gunna go byeeee

Sun. - Jul. 01, 2007 - 1:02 PM EDT

heyy whats up all..ok i thought i would write cause i havent in a very long time..ok here goes..me and roger did end up breaking up..he broke up with me he told me he had no feelings for me never had and never would..you know how shytty that made me feel..well yea soo im moving on...its hard as hell but i am..but yea i just wanted to say that im gunna go byeee

2 comment(s) - 12:02 AM - 07/02/2007

Sat. - Jun. 09, 2007 - 10:34 PM EDT

heyy wats up everyone i havent wrote in a while and thought i would..ok so me and roger not soo good because i told him i wanted a break because he doesnt treat me like he should and he was all like no i will change soo im giving him time to see if he changes and yea theres some progress like he's calling and texting me more soo thats a plus for sure and we are sposed to hangout soon, but hes been real busy this week with graduation and shyt and i just cant take it bt its understandable.. Honestly at times im not sure if he really wants to be with me i mean when it is just me and him together and we talk he tells me lots of stuff but then wen we arent together its hard for me to believe it.. i mean i am going to admit that roger is the first boii i have fallin in love with and im still in love with and at times i want him to be the one im in love with all the time for the rest of my life... But its soo hard... cause i dont want to tell him and him feel weird and then i think well what if i never date anyone else in my life ya know..the thing is rite now in my life i have a lot of problems and no one knows about them cause i wont tell anyone, but thats just for now its just hard to talk bout it.. But yea i mean at times when roger makes me mad i get mad and yell at him because i do have lots a options rite now its just i dont want those guys you know.. I want roger..But yea i am a lil bit scared becase i am 4 days late and im sure ill start its just im scared and i dont want to tell roger..soo im guna wait a week and see if i start and if i dont i will prolly freak out.. But im sure i am fine cause we use protection all the time..well i need advice soo gimme it

Wed. - May. 09, 2007 - 12:58 PM EDT

heyy everyone wats going on?? Me im doing pretty good I guess. Well me and Roger are OK..I cant tell if were getting better or worse which sux badly...OK well I got a lil upset and told Roger that I wanted him to start calling me everday that we dont hangout and he got mad and said no...yea like was you cant call your gf once a day..Honestly soo i didnt think he was gunna yesturday cause he was being mean and said no and then he called me and was like heyy y do you want me to calll you everyday and I was like Roger because I do and he was like yeaaa but y I was like just cause i want you to soo cant you do it cause i want you too.. yea well he got drug tested yesturday and thinks he failed cause he drank the nite before..Yea and the thing is if he gets in trouble now it will suck cause he only has 2 more classes.. Soo lets hope that he is ok..I mean yea hes my everything and i love him to death but i cant stand the way he acts sometimes.. I swear like we were sposed to hangout on sunday and he was like can we just wait till tomorrow cause i didnt getta hangout with my friends last nite.. Soo yea i hate how he ditches me for his friends after we make plans and how he ignores me wen hes with them like wen i call or text he just ignores it like i didnt and I just dont know..Wat do you think I should do honestly..well im gunna go byeee

xoxo,

Judi

3 comment(s) - 06:11 PM - 05/15/2007

Thurs. - May. 03, 2007 - 8:51 AM EDT

heyy wats up everone.. Just saying hello i havent wrote for a while soo i thought I would..Soo I hope that this day goes fast.. soo tomorrow is my friend jess's kinda like birthday party itll be funn.. and today roger is gunna go to work with me..im excited and hes sposed to come over tomorrow for the party lets just say were gunna get crunk...lol..but yea soo he mite stay the nite if his mom lets him..Cause he got his license back.. thats soo exciting but yea we are doing good..Really good.. Soo Roger wants me to quit smoking ciggs and he doesnt understand that its not that easy and he is like if you wanna be with me you will quit..well sorry he doesnt know its hard.. ya know well tell me wat you think..byeee

xoxo,

Judi

1 comment(s) - 08:29 PM - 05/03/2007

Tues. - May. 01, 2007 - 8:51 PM EDT

heyyy everyone wats up?? ok well me and roger are doing wonderful..we are the best and i am soo happy cause he finally got his license back and his mom actually knows he sees me and shyt.. But I used to mad cause he never told his mom he was seeing me he would say he was with friends but hes getting better and actually tells him mom bout me.. So today was great we didnt workk soo i smoke it up abit it was awesome...And i havent in forveer soo it was greatt.. But yea rogers gunna go to work with me tomorrow cause my dad is my boss and we sell the paper but he is actually going to bve with me which is wonderful..well im gunna go tell me wat you think..byeee

xoxo,
Judi

Fri. - Apr. 27, 2007 - 10:10 AM EDT

heyy everyone i havent writen in a few days cause ive been real busy.. I just wanna let you all know that me and roger are doing great.. We are both trying to understand eachother better.. Its hard because he doesnt know everything that Im going through.. But yea our 3 months was the other day it ws awesome we hungout.. But yea we just chilled we didnt wanna go ne where.. Soo yea ok answer this how many times does the gurl usually wanna fuck well ok i wanted to and he didnt soo we didnt.. I was pissed then he asked me to give him head soo i did cause im awesome like that then i got real mad cause he didnt even appriciate it and i told him to take me home..He was like are you mad i was like no im bout to throw up..lol..But yea hes sposed to cumm over tonite.. Friday thank God.. Well Fridays are usually are party nites and we drink and smoke and shyt soo im excited its like a break from all the work and shyt.. But yea heyy Im gunna go but ill write more later..bye...

xoxo,

Judi

2 comment(s) - 02:21 PM - 04/28/2007

Mon. - Apr. 16, 2007 - 12:56 PM EDT

heyy everone..ok..its me again writing for like the millionth time today..lol..well I just wanted to say that I am doin very good.. That me and Roger are great..Were sposed to hangout today and he's sposed to meet my friend Kayla and her bf..So that will be nice..But yea so I have a question though..Ok so wen you have sex your hyman is sposed to break.. Ok well me and roger have already had sex and then the other day my hyman broke while we were having sex..well attempting to.. Is it possible that it can break even though we had sex before because honestly im just very confused..Yea..So i dunno..But we are doin wonderful.. I see him a lot more now and we are just cute.. The other day we were just chillen on my bed and we were kissing and it was so cute because he pulled the hair outta my eyes.. It was so adorably cute.. But yea Roger he has this thing and he does not like getting hickies..well I like giving hickies so of course there I am and I gave him one and he actually got kinda mad I was yellin at him saying Roger its just a hickie and honestly if i wanna give you one im gunna soo you are gunna have to deal with it.. And he didnt say anything about it after that..so lets hope i got it through his head that you shouldnt care wat i am doin to you atleaste we are together.. Ok the other day I was thinking about mine and rogers relationship and i actually started crying because I am in love with him and at times I dont know wat to do because its so hard and I will admit that I thought I was so in love with Aiden and that honestly I dont really think I was I think I just thought I was.. But it is so hard because wat if he ends up breaking my heart.. I mean rite now I can tell you all that he is the guy that I wanna be with and I kinda hope were together fpr a long ass time..ya know maybe we wont break up..But yea I need advice on this shyt cause I dont even know anything anymore and I cant help who I love even if he doesnt love me yet..well im gunna go and ill write later

xoxo,

Judi

2 comment(s) - 07:38 PM - 04/16/2007

Mon. - Apr. 16, 2007 - 9:23 AM EDT

heyy everyone..ok..soo how are ya all..Me im great.. Ok so me and roger didnt hangout yesturday because he just wanted a day to relax so we are gunna hangout today cause he only has his drug class on tuesdays now..thank god for that..But yea soo friday was not a good nite.. I got pissed at roger cause he picked to hangout with his friends instead of me and i cried and cried then sat we hungout and you know just fooled around..lol..But ok heres the thing this girl mirrissa i dont know her all i know is that she used to talk to roger yea well i invited her to hangout on friday 4-20..lol..and she was like well will roger care im like no i dont think soo well no i will be all over roger soo y do i have any reason to think that it is a bad idea..I mean she seems nice and if she wants to hangout im not gunna be a bitch and say no..ya know.. But yea I cant believe me and roger..were like doin great ann honestly im gunna tell ya all that he is the best guy that i have ever been with and i love him and yea honestly the other nit ewe both wanted to have sex then we are ready and he has no condom and he was like judi if you want we can do it and i will pull out noo we were gunna but i was scared and told him no that we could just fuck around instead ya know..but yea soo see i know not to have sex without a condom soo hey i must be gettin a lil smarter..lol..well heyy im gunna go but tell me wat you think...ok..byeeee

xoxo,

judi

Sat. - Apr. 14, 2007 - 11:33 AM EDT

heyy everone ok i havent wrote in a while so i thought i would..Ok so me and roger are doin good..Ive seen him more but still..Like last nite we had plans all day to hangout and he couldnt cumm cause his mom wanted his car home..ok well no i flipped out because I got so mad and i feel soo bad because I was like a crazii girl..do you think I over reacted..i mean i was just so upset because we made plans and i know it wasnt his fault because his mom wouldnt let him but still i just got soo upset..ok..and listen to this ok his mom and dad havent met me yet soo yea i want to meet them and i told him that today wen we hangout i wanna meet them and he said ok but i feel like he really doesnt want me to.. I mean me and roger both come from two extremely different familys and it is just soo confusing..im soo confused i need some good advice..well im gunna go byeee

judi

Mon. - Apr. 09, 2007 - 6:00 PM EDT

heyy everyone ok soo some kid who i havent talked to in over 7 months somehow got rogers sn and sent him all these lies saying i was a whore and not a virgin wen i met him and thats not true..and told him all this stuff they know about us.. Soo he didnt believe me then he did but then the freak somehow got my sn and sent me a im while i was away saying ha ha ha ha ha a whole buncha times...im really freaked out and shyt..wat should i do..wat would you do..im scared and I love roger and cant lose him..well wat should i do...

2 comment(s) - 07:31 PM - 04/11/2007

Wed. - Apr. 04, 2007 - 1:23 PM EDT

heyy everone wat is new..Ok now me and my friend jess w are cool i guess.. Butyea anyways im soo excited cause we only have like one more day of school before spring break.OK you all think that I am too young to have sex and that it will bring us apart.. But honestlyI think it is making us closer because he actually came over saturday and neither of us even thought about having sex and ill tell you that I was so scared that having sex with him was gunna make him wanna all the time but it didnt and well I hope it doesnt.. I meanI can say that I love him and that I had sex with him because i thought I was ready and well lets just say i still think I was ready.. The only thing is i feel soo embarressed and stupid because I talked the whole time. I mean who honestly wants their chick to talk the whole time while they are doin the deed..ya know..Cus I dont I meanI love him and I told him and he doesnt love me yet and I can deal with that but he did tell mewen he does he will tell me its just i keep thinking wat if he doesnt fall in love with me wouldnt that suck.. Wat should i do.. Im soo lost..

xoxo,

Judi

4 comment(s) - 08:31 PM - 04/04/2007

Mon. - Apr. 02, 2007 - 1:17 PM EDT

Ok soo heyy guys ok lets say that my friend Jess watson likes to talk shyt bout me like all the time and im getting sick of it.. Today she got at me for like no reason at all.. I was like soo pissed because I just happened to read a couple of her entries and see that all she does is talk shyt buot me well atleaste I dont talk bout her in all my entries and yea I will admit that she used to be best friend but honestly I dont think she is anymore because she sure doesnt act like it and she gets mad that I hangout with my other friend jess instead of her and she said im using my other friend when how can you be using someone wen you hangout with them all the time.. If I was using her I would only be talkin to her wen I needed something and now my other friend is in driving school the one i was talking bout and she was like I shouldnt give her a ride to canfeild to see her bf that she is boii crazii over which im not wen you love someone ofcourse you talk about them and wanna be with them but honestly I dont need a ride because my bf has a car and his license soo y would she have to drive me out there if worse came to worse I could ask my bro in law and he would..Yea and she said im gunna be like 100000 times worse meaning liking and talking about my bf roger because I had sex with him.. Ok dont be just sittin there talking bout me yes i had sex with him and i know i did and I liked it and o well i guess you can call me a whore if you want even tho I didnt know a whore was someone who has sex with there bf that they love yes I love him and thats y I had sex and I dont care wat you all think bout the sex situation cause i already did it but honestly this friend needs to stop talking shyt bout me.. Thats wat makes you a two faced bitch well im gunna go write more later...byeee

xoxo,

Judi

3 comment(s) - 03:26 PM - 04/04/2007

Mon. - Mar. 26, 2007 - 1:03 PM EDT

Hey everone how are ya all doin?? Ok well me and Roger are doin great but I have a question.. Does sex really bring a couple closer cus I dont think it does.. Ok yesturday was mine and Rogers 2 months and we are soo cute together and just adore each other well lets just say he was ready to have sex and since he was ready I thought I must be ready but heyy keep in mind we were both virgins and to admit it we didnt really know wat we were doin I mean yea we did because its commen sence but then again we were new to it..lol.. But yea and I swear to God it was not how I immagined it and it hurt like hell and i almost cried and is it a bad thing that i pretty much talked the whole time cause I did and I just couldnt stop talkin and askin questions and shyt.. But yea soo umm yea the thing is I dont think I regret because it was bout time that we finally had sex but at times I see myself crying because if you think about it I kinda am a different person now and it sux and makes me emotional but yet at the same time it excites me i dunno I think my emotions are all fucked up if you know what I mean just please tell me what you think..bye..

xoxo,

Judi

7 comment(s) - 09:40 PM - 04/04/2007

Mon. - Mar. 19, 2007 - 1:07 PM EDT

Heyy everyone one..ok..Ive been crying like all day and it sux.. Ok the reason I was crying was because me and Roger got in a big huge fite and i cant take it I cried and cried.. And it was over the stupidest thing ever.. I accidently sent him a text that was for someone else.. Yea and all it said was how i was purposely makin roger mad because he said that talkin last nite was a waste of time and I was like wat am I a waste of ur time..And i was just kiddin but then I realized that the text was aciidentaly sent to roger and he got mad for no reason..well I guess he did have a reason but I think that he is overreacting and I was soo sad and kept calling and calling and calling and he just kept declyning my calls.. Isnt that mean I sure think soo but honestly I think that I am fallin in love with him otherwise I wouldnt have gotten soo upset over hardly nothing if you all know wat im saying.. But yea soo I am hoping that wen I get home and I call him that he will answer and I will be able to talk to him and we will be ok..Because I cant handle getting my heart broken again because honestly he is the only boii that I ever liked as much as i like and i cant take it but o well im gunna go bye..bye...

xoxo,

Judi

1 comment(s) - 01:54 AM - 03/27/2007

Fri. - Mar. 16, 2007 - 12:59 PM EDT

heyy everyone ok soo im just sittin in study hall and im very bored soo I thought that maybe I would write again.. Doesnt that sound nice.. Ok so I feel like shyt.. My nose is stuffy and I cant breathe and I still have 2 periods before the day is over.. Ok soo that kid Dave I was talking about.. the old friend..well he called.. And he said he wants to hangout this weekend and since Im not seeing Roger this weekend Im gunna hangout with him.. But honestly I know that I wont do anything wrong because I like my roger boo boo to much to ever do anything to hurt him.. Plus me and david are just friends nuthin more.. But yea i would never cheat on Roger because I know how it feels and when you like someone that much you arent sposed to do anything to hurt them.. And I deffinantly like him a lot.. Honestly is it pathetic that I like hiim tunns.. Do U think its a bad thing that I may be falling in love with him.. Do U think Im too young to be fallin in love for the second time in my life.. Cause at times I think Im too young and honestly I would rather not fall in love with Roger rite yet because he has never been in love before and told me that he doesnt know when he will no that he is in love with me because he doesnt know what it feels like.. I told him he'll know that if I found out that I did that he will be able to too..well im gunna go cause I dont feel good and the librarian just yelled at me soo tell me what you think and i will write again later..

xoxo,

judi

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sexiicupcake's Profile

Username: sexiicupcake

Gender / Age: Female, 20

Location: USA - Ohio

SEXIICUPCAKE's Interests:

About Me: Hi my name is Judi Im 17 I live in Struthers Ohio and I am a Junior at Struthers High School.. I have a wonderful bf who i adore and care soo much about i also have wonderful friends that i would do anything for..I have a pretty gay job but atleaste it gets me money.. I have a great family and thats me

Interests: I like hanging out with friends, Shoppin, Partying it up a bit.. Fridays are the bests with my girls..

Favorite Music: Country, punk Rock rap.. Pretty much everything...

Favorite Movies: I like the cute movies that are also sad..and scary movies..ahhh

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