Do you know why koala bears are so cute, Ed? Why ospreys dance in flight? Why cheetahs run so fast? Arctic terns fly so far? Flowers smell so good? Blueberries taste so blue? Butterflies flit? Parrots talk? Whales sing? And doves coo?
Because I was having fun. Which is my greatest wish for you in all you do.
You can, ����The Universe
I was looking for a solution to begin my journaling that was easy.� I was in that dream state early the other morning and I thought, “wouldn’t it be great if there was an online journal that would remind and prompt me to journal”.� Well here we go. �It is my intention to leave some type of legacy for my children and anybody who cares to read or listen.���Discipline weighs ounces and regret weighs a ton.� (Jim Rohn)� I don’t regret anything, but I do struggle with the simple disciplines sometimes.� It’s easy to stay in bed, or eat those extra bites, etc,etc. It is my intention to blog/diary/journal every day even if its to say I am grateful for……….�
�
Today I am superbly grateful for all that I am and all that I am capable of becoming.� I am proud of my beautiful children and accept the challenge that comes with raising them as a gift.� I am thankful for my faith and the ability to explore and discover more. Most of all, I am thankful for this moment, right here, right now and how great it is to be in the moment.� I am awash with joy over that. There is no before or after, only now.� Praise be for the ability to grow and change my thoughts.�����
Today�we have another chance to move forward. We talked about everything last night and we came away feeling optomistic.
Here's what happened yesterday:
Lori got their invitation to Mandy's engagement party and emailed me that they wouldn't be coming. She says what we thought she'd say: It's Ryan' s b-day. They�want to take him out for dinner, and that she already had a gig to attend� during the�day with Milana. While she tells me how special becoming engaged is, and that she realizes that Mandy is leaving for Portland soon, she's "so bummed" to decline the invitation.
We saw this coming. We feared our reactions. We avoided our fear ruling our actions, (so far).
I think that our relationship with Lori is precious to us. We need to protect it. Don't let this come between us - (and boy it could!)�
Here's the core issue at hand: We believe that Lori's excuse�is a smoke-screen for her real reason. That reason�is what�has the potential to damage our relationship the most, we believe that she grapples with our daughter being gay and is afraid to attend this party because it would be in her face too much.�I think she hasn't dealt with it�since Mandy came out 5yrs. ago. She's had opportunity but side-stepped it.�
There is always the chance that I am wrong. (One could always hope).�
I responded to her�email in as few words possible, just a couple sentences to say that her family comes first,�that�I understand and they'd be missed. She responded quickly, revealing some back-peddling on her story: she�corrects me in that, "we are�her family", she points out that because of Ryan's b-day�even her plans for that day were iffie (which�establishes their priority is their family)�Lastly, she hands the baton to Luis (pointing out her lack of authority in making decisions), which in my opinion is another effort to side-step.
Wait for it... I'm sure a total effort at diverting my attention will come today.
What she doesn't know is that whatever they decide will be accepted, we will love them through this. Allowed to be 'off the hook' may bring an enlightenment for them.
Everyone� in their own time.
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Hi, this is my first post :)
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很奇怪, 虽为隐身居士, 自六月开始我竟像猴子一样忙起来了. 在国际化大环境里, 上海成了全球都市中的新宠, 我不得不在新形势下, 匆忙就任陈宅 ‘礼宾司长’ 这样的高职, 迎来四海宾客, 送走五洲亲朋. 先是送别英国长者, 美国表妹随后登陆, 接下来是加国的老友和孩子旋风造访, 香港的朋友们周末即到.
一年中这种工作密度并不多见, 我拿出十八般武艺, 穿梭在各种角色之间. 老友就像布纹瓜, 面见老, 心还嫩. 十几岁的孩子都玩酷, 你真得比他(她)还酷, 啥就都能搞定了. 若让来访的小客人乐起来就证明你情商不低. 面对内向的朋友得跟他一块深沉. 在开朗的朋友面前随便些就令他们感到更加自在. 最来劲的是跟15年未见的老友就着一杯咖啡, 甜酸苦辣地大聊神侃.
大浪淘沙沉淀下来的友情. 是高档奢侈品. 要小心呵护, 认真欣赏.
hah!� Slept late today too.� Didn't get out of the shower till a little after 9.
09:15 - dialed into the 9am OPS/ENG bridge.� Missed all the SAN stuff, but Mr. T said I already knew it and they just proceeded.� One Q about when PFF is going live, but I don't know the actual date.� PROD build starts July 1, that's all I know for sure.� I don't have the firm GO LIVE date.� (Fuck, it was suppsed to be March 15.)
9:50 - Pasted in yesterday's entry & Mr. T said we'll meet at 10:20 today for the weekly staph meating.� No problem.
10 - Need to figure out what I'm working on today.� My brain is scattered to the corners of the Earth.� Email exchange with "Windy Day Girl", we talked about having lunch sometime next week up in Skittsdale.� I go almost 3 years without meeting any intelligent, attractive lesbians, and suddenly they're falling out of the sky.� :)� Lucky me.
10:30 - Staph meating.� I can't fucking get logged into NewYork.� Every few weeks it gets fucko and won't let me in.� I even went through the Madison servers and still no-go.� Slick will look at that for me after the meating.
-- Becky will be out a few weeks starting Monday.� I know she's having a hysterectomy, but she didn't tell anyone else.� I just heard her allude to "traveling" so clearly she doesn't want to share with the boys.� I won't say a word.� (I'm aware of the fact that I just did, but you don't know her so its okay.� Privacy through Obscurity.)
-- More talk about the SAN upgrade/changes for this weekend.
-- Mid-Year reviews are coming up.
-- Lunch break.� Ran to Fry's to get cat food and a few other items.� Picked up a sammich at Subway.� Back home and working.
1:00 - Chez scored tix to a women's basketball game tonight.� I'm going to pick her up at her place and drive us both.� Only one parking pass + Chez will want a beer or two.� I'll be designated driver.
1:10 - Adjusted ticket queue.� Opened ticket for Pine disk add.� Checked status of disk add for minotaur cluster.� No forward motion.� She's probably busy working on the san switch stuff for this weekend.
1:40 - After much fucking around with our ticketing system I finally programmed 4 very useful auto-queries for myself.� One is "All tickets I've assigned to others", one is "My Active Assignments", one is "My Overdue Assignments", and the other is "All Engineering Unassigned Tickets".� I set them up to auto-start every time my system starts up, that way I can see at a glance what I've got in the works for the day.
1:45 - Started working on Pooh Bear's Oracle issues on the RHEL x_64 Delphi LM system.� Lots of packages to check/install.
�4:20 - working on weird issue for Becky.� she says:
"it's throwing this error:� [De scription: Resolving short name to full DN failed - no entry found. ]"
-- Daddy Google doesn't say much about it.� nslookup finds the hosts ok.� Dorked with the nsswitch file to make sure its looking in the right places for the names.� Checked with both short name & FQDN.� She put entries in the host table to see if it really isn't looking it up, all no good.
-- started watching network traffic as she was working with the developers, filtered out her IP, mine, and a few others to get a better handle on what's flowing where.� Flipped the nameservers around and even had it start querying the PROD NS instead of the LM NS, but no go.
-- Becky asked the developers to use the old code.� They said it works, old code, old servers.� Try the old code with the new servers, and it doesn't work.� Asked her to have them try the "old servers" with the "new code" to see if that works.� It might tell me if the problem is a configuration issue with the new servers, or if the new servers aren't configured properly in DNS.
-- 5:10 pm and I need to get my shit together to meet Chez.� Sent email to Slick and Grandpa Simpson to check the DNS on fosters in the AM.
I'm OUT!
Ok so i just got back from a run...n my friend whos goin into the navy who didnt go to trainin wit my last thursday kept stoppin....grrr last thursday i did SOOOOO good did it all wit out stoppin n i wanted to do it again tonight....guess imma just have to do it tomorrow night. sigh....
Okay now beside that things have kinda gottin better...i think we found a job to make some good money....soo yeah we are kinda excited about it!!!
but since i havent posted anything in a bit might just drop by n leave some thing...
OHHH btw yesterday i was out in P-town n saw a REALLLLLY� hott ass guy well my friend n i were like DAMN� n he heard us n we drove around the block cuz we were also waitin on her sister n mom...well i got out n put my number on his window n he called me today....ummm exciting lol
Today is the first day of a new journal.
I'm excited to get started on a new way of journaling. I've been away from it for too long.
Where do I start?
First things first I guess. I haven't been to the gym for 2wks (?) something like that. I cried last night when I talked about it to Bear. I'm very disappointed with myself. I've had a standard to uphold for many years and I'm letting myself down. Yet even this minute I'm choosing to do this instead of going for a walk, which will be a first since last weekend. "This is more important. I just need some time." That's what I've been telling myself. also, "I'll be getting back to it, as soon as the pressure lets up."
The second thing, (and I'm not so sure I'm able to put them in perfect order), is Dan and his walk of shame as I think of it.�Since he came and told me of how he got fired from his dream job I've had a heavy feeling in my gut. I feel like I have a bolder in my stomach. I'm terribly sad, disappointed, ashamed, and a bit mad. The mad part grows a tad every so often as he doesn't seem to get the urgencey of finding a new job. Hello?? Money's running out and then your bills become our bills!! I get the attitude that this is sort of like a vacation to him, "haha lets go to the beach!" All I can do is�stay focused on what we expect�from him and stay clear that my fears are not realities - yet.
Next:
Mandy's move to Portland. YIKES!!�This one is the hardest for me to swallow.�A loaded gun for sure. Not going to go there right now, later.
Last:� (i hope)
The marriage of Mandy & Scarlet.�
these are my biggies these days. things I can't�talk�about so well. bear listens but he's not enough for my head. i will write until i can feel the release. this is what i used to do but gave up on the pen and book method. online? lets see how this goes.
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