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        mommy  36, Female, New York, USA - 20 entries
    26
    Dec 2006
    5:22 AM EDT
       

    Merry X-Mas... Sorry about not writting on Christmas... SO how is everyone? how was everyone's christmas? mine was okay. what what did everyone get? so it their anything new? well that's all i can think on right now, so ttyl... With Love, Krysta
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        AguilarBaby  47, Female, Washington, USA - 50 entries
    26
    Dec 2006
    12:03 PM PST
       

    Hi Baby....today has been some what a "rough" day. I think you are growing and I am feeling it. I was getting all sorts of pains today in my back and in my belly and then I was just way too tired and had to come home and go to sleep and I just was not feeling good. But it is nothing to worry about I am sure b/c this is what to expect with you and I knew that it was not going to be easy. Well your Aunt Roxane and Uncle Ruben are having a Boy! They found out today. We are real excited for them however they really wanted a girl b/c you see they only have boys in between the both of them and they wanted to break that cycle but it did not seem to work so they are going to add one more boy to the family. Well we hope that you are a boy but to be perfectly honest I just want you to be a happy, healthy baby and I am sure you are. I had to go to work today and your Dad did not so I am tired and I am going to feed us and then go to bed. You know I love you and I will talk to you later. We love you always, Mom & Dad
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        uns3ttl3d  38, Female, New York, USA - 57 entries
    26
    Dec 2006
    2:22 AM EDT
       

    god, i am so sick of forcing myself through the motions of having to accomodate to the consideration of other people. i feel sick. i cant stand being in my own skin half of the time, and the energy alone put toward the effort of not allowing myself to get upset or depressed over the fact that i fucking hate myself and i hate my life is just overwhelming to the point i just want to scream FUCK IT. i am just so pissed. i just want to go back to new york. i am sick of being in taiwan. i cant really speak to anyone and im gaining so much wait here becuase there is nothing to do but sulk in silence and idleness and EAT EAT EAT because of boredom and nicotine withdrawal. and it sucks hardcore. i hate it. i cant stand life right now. im getting this ancy feeling that comes several times a day where i just cant stand to be alive sometimes and i just really need to hit something or scream or just do SOMETHING to release all this stress and anger. a cigarette would be nice. but i cant do that. because of fsmily. it sucks. i mean im 19. im my own person. im an adult, yes? then why the fuck do i have to suffer for the sake of others? goddamnit. this is my body. this is my life. i do whatever the hell i want with it. i am so sick of trying to change because it never works. im always let down by myself and others. im just not strong enough.i still have another fucking week and a half here in taiwan. it sucks. i just want to fucking leave now. i am goin insane!!!!! i need to get out. im so ancy right now i could punch a wall with my bare fist and not feel it. i just want to leave. now. or else my head is going to explode and im going to continue to imagine these itchy spots all over my body and i neurotically scratch the strangest parts of my body and shake and scream on the insade. i hate this ancy feeling. it comes way too often. i cant stand it. i just need to get the fuck out of here.
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        MsLadybugHD8  54, Female, Missouri, USA - 7 entries
    26
    Dec 2006
    12:54 PM CDT
       

    Well, well...so many days that I haven't posted. But only b/c I haven't had access (I've not been at work b/c of the holiday weekend). So, I thought I might post a thought or two for each prompt from the days I missed: "Indifference is the strongest force in the universe. It makes everything it touches meaningless. Love and hate don't stand a chance against it." - Joan Vinge, The Snow Queen ...I'm not sure I quite understand. Or maybe it's just that I have a different view than someone else might have, although I haven't discussed this with anyone as of yet. But I have to agree. It kind of means that same thing to me as the ol' "you have to stand for something, or you'll fall for anything". "Answer your critics with silence and indifference. It works better, I assure you, than anger and argument..." - Gioacchino Rossini I definitely agree with this. Because often what your critics are desiring, is a argumentitive response from you. And it also shows that you don't have to lower yourself to their standards. "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." - Eleanor Roosevelt ...I couldn't have read a better quote today. My friend, Joe, & I got into a heated discussion last night to a somewhat similar type of issue. I believe that no one should settle for less than their goals (unless of course, their goals are completely unattainable...& that's a whole other issue). But Joe said that he believes we should all settle, because none of us deserve the best of anything. All I can say is that we do have a difference of opinions. As for today's: "People often use the excuse that their lives are uneventful and nobody would be interested in what they have done. But I promise you that if you will keep your journals and records, they will indeed be a source of great inspiration to your families, to your children, your grandchildren, and others, on through the generations." - Spencer W. Kimball I have no way really of knowing if this would ring true for me at this moment I don't think. Although I do know that I find it very entertaining to read my ancestors journals, etc. And although I'm not sure the reason, but I've had people read my journals went they weren't invited to, so there was obviously some motive behind it... So, tomorrow I hope to reflect on my weekend. I wouldn't mind doing so now. But I've already posted quite a bit. Not to mention the issues of the weekend are still so fresh, & just maybe whatever happens tonight might change my views on things...or at least I hope...and for the better too. Thank you Lord for my job! I do love it & it provides an escape of sorts from my ordinary daily worries. And thank you Lord for the many other things that I'm failing to mention right now. As it's almost time for me to leave for the day. Hope anyone & everyone who might read this had a wonderful Christmas, or at least they made it through it - maybe next year's will be better. We can only hope!
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        dancediva10emily  48, Female, California, USA - First entry!
    26
    Dec 2006
    4:09 PM N
       

    my life is at a certain level. everything is under control and the world no longer revolves around me (thank goodness). I am having a blast keeping in touch with my cousin, Katie by e-mail. she's a great cousin to have and an entertaining friend. MESSAGE TO ALL JOURNALISTS OUT THERE: Be yourself! Don't let anyone stop you from completing your goals and loving life!! Sincerely, M
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        uns3ttl3d  38, Female, New York, USA - 57 entries
    26
    Dec 2006
    12:02 PM EDT
       

    Welcome to a world where only the weakest survive. Welcome to a world where innocence is lost the quickest to those who treasure it most. Welcome to a world of lies and deceit. Welcome to a world full of empty souls that only seek to destroy you. Welcome to a world bereft of meaning and purpose amidst a sea of corruption and selfishness. Welcome to this world where your only defense is apathy and indifference. Welcome to a world where your emotions have been dumbed down to only greed, hatred, and violence. You will lose whatever you treasure most the quickest. Don't fight it, resistance will only give it more energy to work against you. You will find yourself surrounded by hollowed out souls that only wish to take and take until there is nothing left and once they realize that, they look introspectively into their vacant bodies only to realize that they lost their theoretical souls long, long ago. So instead they turn to lies and false hope to keep their empty glasses waiting for the ultimate day that their thrist will be quenched. The ultimate day that does not exist. Welcome to life. Welcome to this world. Take a spoon and dig in as quickly as you can, because i can assure you, that there is nothing left. Karma finds its ways to avoid those who heavily weigh down on destruction and counteract it instead to those who are the meekest and humblest at heart. Don't you see? The strongest don't survive, only the weak. There is no sense of balance. Everything is incredibly f***ed up. This is life. This is the sea full of opportunites...opportunities for things to attack you at the weakest point of your life. This is the sea that will take away those who deserved more. This is the sea. This is the arena. This is the fight that you will never win. Resistance only feeds it with more energy to work against you. You will find that apathy and indifference are your only friends. You will remain empty and unscathed. Your feelings will be reduced down to the simplest, most potent forms of anger, hatred, and violence that scream to surface through but you will remain expressionless until the one day that may never come. That day is a war you will never fight. That war is for a cause greater than life. That cause is hope for everything that you have ever loved. That hope is flourishing and fleeting. That hope never really existed. Welcome to this world. Welcome to this vulture. Welcome to this journey where every step you take is in the wrong direction, but it is a step none-the-less. Don't you see? Indifference is the strongest force in the universe. It makes everything it touches meaningless. Love and hate don't stand a chance against it. With all of this in mind, I cannot blame you for leaving. You had too much heart to fight a war with apathy. You had no weapons because you have a heart. Let this day mark the moment in time where I will fight as steadily as i can. I will fight as strongly as i can. I will fight forever...forever in the name of You.
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        angee  33, Female, Arizona, USA - 5 entries
    25
    Dec 2006
    8:37 PM EDT
       

    I wear this bracelet as a symbol for all who suffer the pain of breast cancer... for those who have died and for those left behind and for those who grieve. I wear this bracelet as a symbol for hope for a cure for courage. I wear this bracelet as a symbol for the survivors. I wear this bracelet as a symbol for a future and for dignity. I wear this bracelet as a symbol for breast cancer awareness because it touches my heart and because I care.
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        angee  33, Female, Arizona, USA - 5 entries
    25
    Dec 2006
    8:36 PM EDT
       

    I wear this bracelet as a symbol for all who suffer the pain of breast cancer... for those who have died and for those left behind and for those who grieve. I wear this bracelet as a symbol for hope for a cure for courage. I wear this bracelet as a symbol for the survivors. I wear this bracelet as a symbol for a future and for dignity. I wear this bracelet as a symbol for breast cancer awareness because it touches my heart and because I care.
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        angee  33, Female, Arizona, USA - 5 entries
    25
    Dec 2006
    8:36 PM EDT
       

    I wear this bracelet as a symbol for all who suffer the pain of breast cancer... for those who have died and for those left behind and for those who grieve. I wear this bracelet as a symbol for hope for a cure for courage. I wear this bracelet as a symbol for the survivors. I wear this bracelet as a symbol for a future and for dignity. I wear this bracelet as a symbol for breast cancer awareness because it touches my heart and because I care.
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        retirik  58, Female, Illinois, USA - 36 entries
    25
    Dec 2006
    5:50 PM CDT
       

    Дорогие мои, извините, что так долго не писала. Итак, заканчивается день Рождества. Вчера вечером, (это сочельник, кажется, называется?) мы ходили в церковь на вечернюю службу. Это было очень красиво. Мы пришли втроем. Мы-то с Ребешкой ходим туда еженедельно, а Бьорн не был там наверное с самого переезда. Он с огромным удовольствием туда пришел (победоносно) и с еще большим удовольствием вышел. Видимо, для нас жизнь там была такой огромной перегрузкой, что мы до сих пор "празднуем" освобождение. Как, например, когда идет снег, я выглядываю из окна, любуюсь природой, и прямо-таки счастлива, что не надо мчаться разгребать снег. После службы мы все обменялись подарками. Один из плюсов жизни там, это то - что у меня есть друзья и просто приятные мне люди в церкви. Если б мы в церкви не пожили, то я бы по-прежнему проходила мимо них каждое воскресенье. Так что всем им мы подарили по маленькому сувенирчику и традиционное шведское (зимнее) печенье из джинджера. А батюшке печенье и Глог - традиционный шведский рождественский напиток. Потом мы все вместе отужинали в церковной столовой и разъехались по домам. Когда мы пришли домой, Ребешка остаток вечера провела в приготовлении к визиту Санта Клауса. Видимо Бьорн так делал в детстве, потому что он сказал Ребешке, что она должна оставить рисунок, конфетки и печенье под елкой для Санта Клауса. Она отобрала конфеты и печенье и долго рисовала Санта Клауса. Заснула она быстро, все-таки мы и утром с ней ездили в церковь и вечером - ребенок ухайдокался. Как только она уснула, мы принялись за работу - разложили ее подарки под елкой. От свекров тоже пришла посылка, так что и их подарки мы положили. И когда уже уснул Бьорн, я положила подарки для него. Прямо как в шутке: What's the difference between Christmas and a day at the office? - You do all the hard work and a fat guy in a suit gets all the credit. Так и в моем случае. Я легла спать позже всех, а Ребешка разбудила меня в 7:30 утра словами: "Мама, мама, видимо Санта Клаусу мой рисунок понравился - он мне столько подарков принес!" В общем утро прошло хорошо. Свекры подарили нам с Бьорном полотенца и плед, а Ребешке хорошие книжки для изучения алфавита и цифр. Все-таки не зря свекровь в начальной школе работает. Ребешка весь вечер просидела за писанием букв и цифр (там даже проверочные упражнения есть). Каникулы у Ребешки продлятся аж до 8 января. Она выздоровела (спасибо Эреспалу), и мы думаем куда сходить и с чего начать, так как и Бьорн свободен до 8-го. В четверг я ходила в ресторан со своими коллегами из ОРТа. Меня пригласила Кэйти, начальница. Все были рады меня видеть, хотя много новых лиц. Правда и Кэйти и др. Ларсон (декан) уверили меня в своей лояльности. Мэриам, моя напарница, сейчас ведет другой уровень, но она пообещала, что опять будет работать в паре со мной, если будет вакансия на первом уровне.
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