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aini 58, Female, Singapore - 4 entries

Jan 2007
9:14 AM EST

The first day of 2007. It has been good. Started out by packing up my school stuff, getting ready for school on 3rd of January. Will be taking P5 this year and only taking Math and SS. Kinda of excited and at the same time sad.. Excited coz I'll be going to meet new students and new challenges... sad coz the holidays have been just wonderful. I managed to bond with my family, going out and having fun with them. I have also explored new technologies and read books(that's the thing I will miss the most when school starts). I started skyping and met some really nice pple. It is really addictive. I have also discovered this online journal which I hope to introduce to my pupils in school. I have also picked up some books on IT such as Adobe Photoshop.. to learn some tips or two about how to enhance digital images. Met a new friend on this injournal.com. She's nice and I hope to meet more of other friends here. To everyone, have a great 2007!! May all your dreams and aspirations come true....

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DragonflyGhostWriter 54, Female, Minnesota, USA - 4 entries

Jan 2007
5:12 AM CDT

So many nights, cold and lonely, though not alone. I wonder...is he thinking about me? There have been many others before him. And there is someone else who lays beside me now. But this person whom I share my bed and my body with...he does not hold my heart in his hands anymore. How can this much passion and fire be contained inside one body...my own? Some of you may think you know me. Someone of you may think you have me figured out. But you would be surprised.

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DragonflyGhostWriter 54, Female, Minnesota, USA - 4 entries

Jan 2007
5:05 AM CDT

He is...everything I have been searching for. But I'm not sure if he wants me, and I'm not sure I can have him. Because we are so far apart, and our lives are very different. I wonder if the past truly repeats itself...or do we only wish that it would? We started out together, at a tender young age. He scared me because even then, I knew the depths of love's power. No one my age understood me. They thought me strange. For I have always existed just a little bit this side of madness, and it suits me well. I think I love him. I think in a way, I have always loved him. But I must pause to ask myself...is it him I think I love, or the idea of him?

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Jane 58, Female, Minnesota, USA - 50 entries

Jan 2007
5:41 AM EDT

January 1, 2007 Happy New Year, hope everyone had a great Holiday. I have to back track a bit and share a few stories from my trip to Charlotte. One of the last things I did while I was there was to meet Dave where he works at Chip Ganassi’s Racing. He had offered to give me a tour of the facility and I was not about to pass up on that opportunity. The tour of the shop was great. I got to see everything up close – all the cars, where they fabricate them, paint them and then do the assembly. What a fabulous facility they have. Their garage is more organized and cleaner than most people’s homes. Dave works on the 41 Target car and does most of the interior assembly. The tour was great and probably the highlight of my trip down to Charlotte. I really did not meet anyone from the company so it did not help with the job search – oh well!!! Saturday morning I dropped of my Ford Mustang at the car rental and headed to the airport to catch my plan home. I while really miss the Mustang – what a fun car to drive!!! Our flight home was completely full and I was assigned the very last seat on the plane. I waited until the very last boarding to get on the plane as I knew I had the last seat in the plane. When I finally got to my seat the attendant asked me to wait a minute before sitting down. I was really hoping I was not going to get bumped from the flight. It turned out that there was a mother with 3 small children and they did not all have seats together. The attendant asked if I would give up my seat so they could sit together. I agreed to change seat and took the only other seat available in the center of the plane. The attendant was quite apologetic as I had traded my isle seat for a middle seat. Our plane was then slightly delayed due to some mechanical difficulty. Just before taking off the attendant came back and again thanked me for switch seat and then asked me to join them in First Class!!! Wow, that is the way to fly. Everything about First Class is so much better than in coach. The drinks, the food, the bathroom and I think even the quality of the air is better. I have never had good things to say about Northwest Airlines but they were certainly good to me on this trip. Needless to say my trip home was great! J

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AguilarBaby 47, Female, Washington, USA - 50 entries

Jan 2007
12:44 PM PST

Well baby Happy New Year...I am sorry but I have not talked to you since 12-26-06...that is sad. I was supposed to talk to you everyday but I have either been busy or tired but those are not good enough excuses...but let me tell you what has been going on...on 12-27-06 I started to feel you for the first time ever...it was ever so faint but I knew that it was not something I have felt before and I paid attention to it and it was little pitter patter of your little feet. I am sure you are doing all kinds of stuff in there but I only feel the important ones. 12-28-06-well this day was just an ordinary day. We went to Sams after work and I got the biggest chocolate chip cookie cake I have ever seen and it was a double decker so it had frosting everywhere...I loved it..I also bought a Watermelon b/c we have to have watermelon all the time...I know you will like that stuff. I felt you again during different times of the day..It was so surreal...I love it..I will be working and all of a sudden I feel a little tap or a poke. 12-29-06-Well today is the start of my 3 day weekend. Your dad was off so he stayed home with Rage and Syrus and I went to work. Nothing exciting. We did not do anything but stay home however I did feel you kick again several occassions. I think it is when I eat and then I am fixing to go to bed is when I should feel you and it seems that is the case. 12-30-06-Well today your dad went to go and play Madden with his co-workers at Jason's house. I don't know if you will meet him but he works with your Dad. You and I stayed home with Rage and Syrus and we talked with your Aunt Roxane. Her and the baby stayed home too and took a warm bubble bath. That was it but I still felt you move and I tried to hear you on the heart monitor but I still cannot hear you but that time will come and I will be patient. 12-31-06-Well today is New Years Eve....We woke up kinda late and your Dad made breakfast. It was real good. We stayed home all day and took naps and your Dad played playstation 3 and then we went to go and get our New Year's dinner....McDonalds so that is how we rang in the new year. We played playstation and ate McDonalds. Our family all called us 12:00am Texas time to wish us a Happy New Year so we decided to celebrate it with them b/c we are Texans at heart. I feel asleep with you doing your daily excersies I was trying to let your Dad feel but you are too little for him to feel from the outside but I am sure that time is coming so I am trying to be patient. Now this brings us to today.. Today we woke up really late b/c we stayed up so late but we watched movies and we ate some pizza and fruit and took several naps and then we were going to eat but our Neighbor friends Meghan and Wayneman called us and wanted to see if we wanted to come and eat some Leg of Lamb. It was real good we had never eaten that before. They came over here and we ate at our table b/c they did not have enough chairs for us to sit at but it was good and we watched another Movie and we called it a night...Well that is all for today it is late and I have to go to work so does your Dad so I will talk to you tomorrow. I still feel you and you keep on moving whichever way you want to it lets me know that you are ok. We love you and we will talk again. Love Always, Mom & Dad

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DragonflyGhostWriter 54, Female, Minnesota, USA - 4 entries

Jan 2007
3:23 PM CDT

discontinued as quickly as it began. Onto other things (wink to the one who knows ;o)) Thanks for reading.

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uns3ttl3d 38, Female, New York, USA - 57 entries

Jan 2007
3:31 AM EDT

how do i go about explaining myself? ...well lets see when yuo have everything you ever loved stripped away from you all you have left is a prioritized list of wants and needs and when those arent adequately met you have this not so strange and sudden urge to just want to flat out DIE. ...story of my life maybe.

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uns3ttl3d 38, Female, New York, USA - 57 entries

Jan 2007
2:47 AM EDT

i've found a way but lack the strength to follow. ive found the will but lack the wisdom to surface through. ive found the sea but lack the ability to keep my head above water. i rummage through the trash and ferociously nibble upon scraps of bread that threaten to ruin my body. i ran the race but forfeited midway through. i ran again and quit a mile before the finish line. i ran again and my leg broke right before i was about to finish. i ran the race 3 times and failed. to even think of running again would only be a cry in shame. it would be false hope for achieving a whole lot of nothing. my hands are dry and cracking as i'm typing. tomorrow morning i leave at 7 am and sit on a plane for 18 hours back to the states. almost 35 pounds heavier than 3 months ago, i am searching within myself for strength against self loathing. i am searching within myself for strength to go back to the city of shallow people. to school full of foolishly young and shallow people. to a world where conformity and 'fitting in' and vanity are the top priorities in one's life. why am i troubled by this? have i forgotten who i am? have i lost my way after finding it and losing it several times over? have i learned nothing of the painful lessons from this past year? have i just gotten my self to a rotten beginning yet again? am i destined to run in a vacant circle for the rest of my life? in that case i might as well kill myself since i have murdered my sense of respect and dignity, if i ever had any to begin with. i am troubled, without a doubt. to comprehend the thought of trying to attempt to fix myself yet again is just too much for me to handle at the moment. so i continue to further myself down into this endless hole. failure. i am a complete failure. i am a great disappointment to anyone who has ever meant anything to me, but more importantly to myself. i can't live with myself because i realize what a failure i am. the given circumstances are quite unfair as well. there are some factors that will remain unchanged. there are some factors i might be able to change through a tremendous amount of turmoil and work. but i am still in the serach for factor c. that would be the will to be able to pick myself back up again after falling for the entirety of my life here on earth. the sad part is i can onyl envision myself falling for the rest of my life, however long or short that may be. oh my fuck. i can feel the ancy feeling coming again. in addition to that i can feel dozens of tropical insects eating away at very square inch of my body as they have been for the pasty 10 days ive been in taiwan. its fucking biting down on my last nerve abnd i am about to explode. i cant take it aymore. i dont care if im leaving tomorrow morning because thats too far away IＷＡＮＴTOＬＥＡＶＥNOW.and i hate everyone. everyone. i hate this world. i hate myself. i cant take it anymore. i dont have the strength or the will of the wisdom to make it through this fucked up life of mine. i possess now only the ability to self destruct. and that is about to start in 3...2...

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FeLiCiA 37, Female, Illinois, USA - 3 entries

Jan 2007
11:24 AM CST

I think that is totally true.. last night was New Years Eve. and of course I had a couple of drinks in me.. well more then a couple, because the whole night I was throwing up, and I blacked out. My boyfriend, this morning should of honestly broken up with me, after the way I treated him last night. I guess when he was trying to take care of me.. I was trying to hit him, for no reason. I don't remember at all. And thats not how I act.. he is the most sweetest, caring guy and he didn't diserve that. But this morning when he told me all this, while he was taking care of me.. he shouldn't of even bothered with me.. I didn't diserve his love last night or today.. but I did really need it. He was there for me, and from here on I will never treat him like shit the way I did last night. I love him.

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kathy 64, Female, Washington, USA - 5 entries

Jan 2007
8:53 AM PST

My life is hell!! Be careful what you wish for is all I have to say. I thought my greatest wish , was to be married and I thought that would bring me happiness - boy was I wrong. Instead I am the sole provider of this household and I am not happy??? I should have stayed single ... at least I had total control of my own destiny.

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