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        uns3ttl3d  38, Female, New York, USA - 57 entries
    03
    Jan 2007
    10:14 PM EDT
       

    ive realized that many people i know are like me before the past year or so. people that claim they have no feelings but theyre actually the most poetic and emotionally sensitive people i know. why do they go through the effort to deny such a thing as that? why are they ashamed? or embarrased? why do they feel such great fear in xpressing themselves? i struggle with that obstacle myself. but i've mastered the skill of suppression. i've mastered the skill of coming off as apathetic and emotionless and dead. am i proud? most certainly not. necause i realize that if iacknowledge my emotions i will fall further down into a hole of depression. life would be even more of a hell than it is already and i'd feel even more alone and unhappy than i am already. sure i would feel, but i would much rather be numb. so i pretend he is the wind. i imagine that he is around and with me at all times. i constantly find myself in the serach for empirical truth that he still exists...that he once existed and that he will never be vanished from my mind. because he now only lives in the minds and hearts and memories of others, but as all of us carelessly let go of these things then he will no longer exist in this world. and that saddens me greatly. and i can not let that happen. i cannot control others but i can control my own mind. my own heart. i will never let go of remembrance and memories. he only lives on through remembrance and memories. through his possesions my mother recklessly threw out. through places that have been frosted over in negligence and moved on into other things but there will forever be a ghost of what used to be. in one moment in time he was there. we were all there. we were all there together and that moment in time did exist at one point in time. somewhere off into the galaxy are light waves from many years back. light waves i have learned that still project the past as if it were the present and if someone were able to see it, they would see it playing through in front of their very own eyes like a bittersweet movie that actually no longer exists. how i wish i were off in the universe somewhere watching these lightwaves as if i could actually partake in them. how i would love to wake up in the past. how i grasp ever so tightly to what is gone, but not from my heart and my mind. i am highly sensitive. i am very vulnerable. i am susceptible to the manipulation and dominance of others, i realize this. but i will protect myself with apathy so it can serve as a shield against their razor sharp knives they wish to stab me with. its 1:13 am. i am still fucked over from the 12 hour time difference from being overseas. its friday. on sunday i leave back to new york. i readjust to my life. i get things done. i go into the city until the 14th to jus thoroughly enjoy myself in solitude amongst a sea of strangers, hostile strangers, that for the most part, do not care to see me. this is the way of life in the city. you can be alone but in a sense no be so much alone at all. kind of like life in fastforward but i am standing still and watching and obseving and taking in.
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        Angela Wang  47, Female, China - 73 entries
    03
    Jan 2007
    10:14 PM EDT
       

    Today I had no class, for our teacher had something important to do, so he had to give up his class. It is still cold today. I stayed in the lab to review my paper in the whole day. But I almost had no fruit---- did not find the information on the internet that I would like to have. I also had like to go back to my dorm where it is dump, dirty and cold. As if nobody believes what I said here, but that is a fact that my other two roommates are always lazy to clean the room. They love to live in dirty surroundings? No, they also like clear room. The main reason is that they are too lazy. I already cannot bear their behavior, so I had to choose to escape the reality.
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        Angela Wang  47, Female, China - 73 entries
    03
    Jan 2007
    10:14 PM EDT
       

    Today I had no class, for our teacher had something important to do, so he had to give up his class. It is still cold today. I stayed in the lab to review my paper in the whole day. But I almost had no fruit---- did not find the information on the internet that I would like to have. I also had like to go back to my dorm where it is dump, dirty and cold. As if nobody believes what I said here, but that is a fact that my other two roommates are always lazy to clean the room. They love to live in dirty surroundings? No, they also like clear room. The main reason is that they are too lazy. I already cannot bear their behavior, so I had to choose to escape the fact.
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        labellasammi07  35, Female, Washington, USA - 2 entries
    03
    Jan 2007
    8:53 PM EDT
       

    I dont really know how to start with a public entry. This is my first time with all this. I think i`m just going to post a survey with my honest answers. Yes, thats what i`m goin to do. & save the GOOD stuff for a private entry! :] This is The Guilty Game. Next to the questions, put your answers as either guilty or innocent. Guilty if you have, innocent if you haven't. 1. Dated outside your race? guilty. 2. Given a hickey? guilty. 3. Dated your best friend? innocent. 4. Sung in the shower? guilty. 5. Spit in someones drink? guilty?? 6. Dumped someone? guilty. 7. Opened your Christmas presents early? guilty. 9. Seen "The Goonies" more than 10 times? innocent. 10. Had more than five REAL bf/gf? innocent. 11. Played a computer game for more than 5 hours? Myspace-guilty. 12. Ran through the sprinklers naked? innocent. 13. Ate food that fell on the floor? guilty. 14. Went outside naked? guilty. 15. made out with your best friends bf/gf? innocent. 16. Mooned somebody? guilty. 17. Been on stage? guilty. 18. Made someone cry? guilty. 19. Been in a parade? guilty. 20. Been in a school play? guilty. 21. Drank beer?? guilty. 22. Gotten detention? guilty. 23. Been on a plane? guilty. 24. Been on a cruise? innocent. 25. Broken into a house? guilty. 26. Gotten a tattoo? innocent. 27. Gotten piercings? guilty. 28. Cried so hard you threw up? GUILTY. 29. Gotten into a shouting match? guilty. 30. Been skinny dipping? guilty. 31. Spun yourself in circles to get dizzy on purpose? guilty. 32. Laughed so hard it hurt? guilty. 33. Tripped on your own feet? guilty. 34. Cried yourself to sleep guilty. 35. Cried in public? guilty. 36. Thrown up in public? guilty. 37. lied to your parents? guilty. 38. Skipped class? guilty. 39.Slept in class? innocent. 40. Made out with someone and didn't talk to them the next day? innocent.
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        Jane  58, Female, Washington, USA - 50 entries
    03
    Jan 2007
    8:30 PM EDT
       

    January 3, 2007 Does anyone else think my life is somewhat of a soap opera? Well I certainly do. So As The World Turns so does my life. I completely enjoyed my time in Charlotte and certainly have had some crazy experiences and meet some great people. I have however decided that it is not quite the right time for me to make a move to a new city and look for a completely new line of work. I have decided to stay in Athens and work with my parents at Hartman’s. I want to continue working with Jud on the Heat and Eat meal project. Now that we our concept and menu in place the real challenge is to see if we can continue to grow our customer basis. I am excited to see where we can take this. It is a challenge that at this time is more comfortable for me. So I’m back with family and friends and very happy about that.
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        jodigirl25  59, Female, Ohio, USA - 40 entries
    03
    Jan 2007
    7:10 PM EDT
       

    I've been SO busy with Annaelise! I picked her up Tuesday morning, and now, Wednesday night, she's all tucked in asleep. She's only had a couple of crying spells. Other than that, absolutely wonderful! We went to Wal-Mart and got a purse for her, and a couple of tops. And today drove an hour to the mall. I thought she'd cling to Katie, but nope, it's ME. Wonderful feeling. BTW, Aeropostle is having a GREAT sale!
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        MsSunshine  29, Female, Canada - 2 entries
    03
    Jan 2007
    5:38 AM EST
       

    hi im a a new one so i guess u r a teenager im a kid so i must be goingsee ya wouldn t wanta be ya
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    1 comment(s) - 10:49 PM - 04/01/2007
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        cheerqueen1493  32, Female, Texas, USA - First entry!
    03
    Jan 2007
    6:38 PM EDT
       

    hi! I told you i wold get us one so..........
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        Laura20921  53, Female, California, USA - 3 entries
    03
    Jan 2007
    2:30 AM PST
       

    May we keep our eyes on heaven in 2007
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        KaityGirl214  32, Female, New York, USA - 30 entries
    03
    Jan 2007
    6:01 PM EDT
       

    poem continued........ you feel like you never want it to stop. You wonder does he like you too. but you'll never know unless you go for it. Is it worse to say something you regret or regret not saying something.
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