view member journals

Search All Journals

View users with: Most entries, Most viewed, Most commented

Most popular tags: Zdigitizing(99), Travel(42), education(40), LOVE(40), writing(32), ...more

You searched for: Gender: Female

nodeadends 19, Female, New York, USA - 29 entries

Aug 2007
9:20 AM EDT

I am pissed off about the visit D.J. had with Joey. He told me someone touched and Joey informed me his D.J. is lying. I believe D.J. all the way it was the first thing that came out of his mouth. His girlfriend called me acting a fool; those two deserve each other, fuckin' drama magnets. My mother is calling me right now as I type this cant be good Hmm what do you know its about C.P.S. They are going to the daycare to talk to him about what happened. This was the right choice for me, as his mother it's my job to protect him at all cost. Mrs. Donna is not happy about having them in her home, but I don't give a damn. I didn't know they were coming to the daycare. What they told me is that they were going to setup an appointment with a reach worker. For his father to dismiss my son's remarks really pisses me off. I didn't tell my mother what went down in Virginia. Because I heard her say in the background I got my own problems. Then when I went over there she asked me what my attitude was about. I hurry up and left before I exploded on her. She is so freakin fake it pisses me off. Supposedly my children stay with her, but for the short time they were there she called and asked me when I was coming to pick them up. But Yolanda was there with her daughter and she didn't have a problem being bothered with them. I don't fuck with her either, because she is very ambivalent: Also because we are on two different plateaus. I am single parent, she isn't, she is religious and close minded and I am spiritual and open minded to many different things. Basically it's this I just want to separate/sever all ties with them.

I harbor a lot of resentment towards my mother, which is my justification for getting away from her. I am certain that she doesn't care for me, she is who she is and I am who I am.

I am going to do everything within my means to get my kids back and leave them the hell alone.

A lot of different shit is stressing me out, like moving, my day care provider and a whole bunch of other shit. She just hung up on me or we got disconnected.

Tags: Fucked up

Add comment

View all posts

Alyanna 38, Female, Indiana, USA - 8 entries

Aug 2007
9:02 AM EDT

I started my first class today, and it was SO boring. I thought we'd do some activities or something. I also thought the professor wouldn't go through the syllabus word for word and the notes. I feel I'm going to do a lot better here. Since I'm back on my medication, I've been feeling a lot better...and I can concentrate better on my studies. Even though I'm back on my medication, I feel I may not pass one of my because it's so confusing. And I don't understand hardly anything. Anyway, all my other classes are basically easy A's. For now, I'm going to attend Ivy Tech Community College and do my prerequisites...then, transfer to Indiana University of Kokomo and major in Psychology...and then, I'll finally transfer back to Ball State University and major in Photography. And then sometime in the future get a major in Professional Writing.

Add comment

View all posts

jesssie 33, Female, Canada - 69 entries

Aug 2007
5:52 PM EST

In regards to the last entry :

I have had a major loss. shes my best friend. she has been for as long as i can remember. shes been through the good and the bad, shes never gone anywhere when i needed her at the worst times ( and the best). but shes changed from that wonderful person i once knew. to a point where its not normal. and i cant watch this happen; not to her. shes my fucking best friend. to watch her fall, crumble and eventually turn into nothing is probably one of the hardest things ill ever have to do. i basically need all the support i can get, because if not - im going down with her. i cant let her guilt me into that, i cant let her make me somehow feel somewhat responsible. although she does- without even trying. i feel like , yeah - shes been there for me my entire life, now its my turn. but all of the things i went through dont even add up to what i would have to sacrifice to be here for her. its not worth it for me, its not worth it for anything.
there are no words to describe the way i feel towards her. i honestly want to kill her sometimes, but i could never do that. i love her way to much. fuck, i seriously dont know what to do. the best thing is to do nothing at all, and she'll learn- hopefully.

Add comment

View all posts

Pushing0the0Throttle 34, Female, Connecticut, USA - 2 entries

Aug 2007
6:41 PM EDT

so yesterday i was out shopping. which really sucked cause its not my thing but it's for clothes so i needed to go. any way so i'm at the store and some 32- 37 year old woman with short hair highlighted and spiked ( nice cut) started talking to me. now it you have ever been to PTown Cape Cod MA then you know what this women really looked like. i know that is stereo typing but that is the only way i know to describe her. now getting to my point she started to flirt with me and then hit on me and so like the idiot i am i go and kindly flirt with her. so now i am 24 hours later even more creeped than i was before. what is stranger is that it was enjoyable to be flirting with her even though she even said that she was from out of state i still dont know. ok bed for me and early rise i have and must concur.

Add comment

View all posts

aerohottie2525 42, Female, Virginia, USA - First entry!

Aug 2007
4:21 PM EDT

Omg today was okay. I made the migits team i know that sounds wierd and everything but idc. I have my first practice tommrow at 6:00 pm to 7:30 pm. yea me !!! i have so got to go i am way to freaking excited. peace out

Add comment

banglesaway 40, Female, Indiana, USA - 21 entries

Aug 2007
2:45 PM EDT

OK, exactly how bad is it to ... wonder/ wait for a couple to break up? No, I'm not talking about Casey and me. Just breezed through facebook book and saw 2 former co-workers still together, maybe hitting a year soon. I know, it's bad. Buthey,no one saw them hitting 3 months.

Yeah, it's wrong. I know I know. Iwouldn't want anyonesaying the same aboutus, but still.

Ok, I'm done being a bitch. Fun times.

Add comment

View all posts

jesssie 33, Female, Canada - 69 entries

Aug 2007
10:24 AM EST

the worst thing in the world is the feeling of loss. and lately, for the past week i've been feeling a lot of 'loss'. small losses, big losses - either way its still a loss. i'm teaching myself, just the right way how to deal with loss, whether big or small. a small loss (or many small losses) that i have been dealing with, come from my inside. not literally, my insides of course. but, the feelings inside. i remember when i had a boyfriend, the main feeling i felt inside was love; followed by a deep passion for everything around me. i enjoyed everything, happiness was the main theme in my life. and then, like everything else at the time, i lost him. i lost everything, or so it felt. and i realized the worst thing to do was to lay around and mope about how my life is unfair and cruel. i needed to get back on my feet. this all happened approximately 5 and 1/2 months ago, and im still recovering. although the relationship i had wasnt a long time (4 months the second time dating, 3 months the first time dating.. yeah i know, two times!) it was still long enough for me to become so emotionally attatched to everything i was experiencing with this boy. now, this boy has far moved on and is with another girl. which is like, screaming at me to either move on or at least move away from the thought that there is something left there.

i have since moved on, sort of. i still have reoccuring feelings of what i once felt. but now the only loss is what he lost. he lost me. but, he replaced me.
i havent had much of a big loss but im not complaining.

Add comment

View all posts

jesssie 33, Female, Canada - 69 entries

Aug 2007
8:23 AM EST

The most beautiful sound in the world is the piano, in my opinion. Each note leads to another, so softly, so smoothly, almost as if every note is one. Every note has a different story; everytime you strike a key it's a whole new world, a whole new sound. Maybe you've never thought of a piano to have a life of its own; or for each key to be significant in one way or another. The lower registers are the pain we feel throughout our life -- the higher keys are the enjoyed moments. I've never looked at a piano and realized what side has more keys, and if they do, in fact, have more keys. But i am going to take a guess that the higher side has more keys, if i was trying to relate it to my life, or anyones life. yeah, life sucks more often than not according to our minds, but hey, we wouldnt be able to tell the difference if it wasnt for the good things and people that occasionally walk in our life from time to time.

Add comment

View all posts

annisfavored 52, Female, Arizona, USA - 22 entries

Aug 2007
7:16 AM MDT

I Am Grateful That:

I am a Child Of God.
I have the Living Word of God.
I have Christian books to read.
I have Christian television to watch.
I have the Holy Spirit to teach me.

Add comment

View all posts

tiahe 33, Female, Canada - 33 entries

Aug 2007
8:15 PM EST

What do feelings look like?

Most feelings are internal, but the ones that are shown aren't half as painful as the invisables. Tears are a sign of not only sadness but happiness too, along with laughter its not only protrayed as being cheerful but can be a sign of being scared. Why do the people who are going through the most pain, put themselves through more because they keep it all to themselves? Wouldn't it do wonders if they could let it all out, and teach the world that its okay to be scared, but hiding from it wont do any good but make things all the more difficult. Wouldn't everyone just kill to be happy all the time, with no worries to push them down. Some people would say whats the point in always being happy, and not having any problems because life is about the mistakes and learning lessons and going through not only good things but also bad. If I had the choice though, I'd choose that I'd always be happy because nothing is worth more then being happy, and making the people around you happy. That right there is one of the most amazing feelings in the entire world. Being happy. Feelings are everything in life, our emotions, or facial expressions, or hearts. No body can destory feelings, because if you like them or not feelings are with you when you wake up, go to sleep, in your dreams and when you die. Feelings are just one more part of life that we have to live with, if you can seem them or not, they will always be there no matter what.

Add comment

View all posts

Matches: 8537 ... 398 | 399 | 400 | 401 | 402 | 403 | 404 | 405 | 406 | 407 ... Next Prev Last