Dear All,
I want to share the follwing article (written by a freind) with you.
At 2:28 in the afternoon, we all stopped... I mean "we" all stopped... almost every human being in China stopped and bowed our heads... ships at sea stopped and all personnel arrived on deck... factories stopped and all personnel took off their hats and lowered their heads... police, army, TV personnel , people on the street, rescuers in the quake zone, children in the schools, young adults in the universities, business men in the fortune towers of Shanghai, heads of state and those that govern stopped... all of China came to a stand still... and we all collectively lowered our heads... and the warning sirens across this big diverse country sounded... they screamed a mournful tone for the dead and dying... for the children without families... for the heroes that gave their lives that one or two other people might have a chance to live... for the school teachers buried beneath the devastation, clutching their students in an eternal embrace... for the old soldier covered in dust and soot carrying one last baby to safety... each with tears streaming furrows across their grief etched faces... for the kind ones giving most of the little they have to perhaps effect some positive impact on the broken heart of China. Never have I seen a country so caught up in the fever of free enterprise and capital gain revert to the fundamental good that is near the heart of all mankind... �Not a sound except the screaming wail of the sirens... from the Yellow sea to the borders of Macho... from the North Western stretches of arid Xinjiang to the lush greenery of Kunming, from the frigid reaches of Heilongjiang to the tropics of Hainan...all of China silently wept. As the mournful tone subsided we all turned from this moment back to the task at hand... but with a melancholy that will not soon be removed nor a resolve that will soon be daunted... �If you ever wondered about the Chinese people and the "stuff" they are made of... I tell you, it is the grandest stuff... an unflinching commitment to a better tomorrow and a will to face adversity as a people... as a nation. �So those of you in this big, big country that value life by the money gained and the scam that you can inflict on your fellow man, you have no lasting place here... you will be ferreted out and displaced by better men... a better people... people who's values have been proven by fire... people made of a forged steel that will bend but will not break... the Chinese of today and their heirs of tomorrow...this is the stuff that China is made of...nothing more... nothing less...
Dear all,
You may all heared about earthquack in central China on 12 May 2008,� many Chinese children died, I believe that the following�poem will move all human beings in the world.� If you are willing to help and please do, your help will make difference of those mother who lost their child. I want to thank the writer of the poem from bottom of my heart. Thanks also�a freind 15 years daughter who�translated the poem from Chinese�into English.�
Grab My Hand, My Child in Memory of All the Children Died in the Sichuan Earthquake
May 23, 2008
�
Friday I had the day off from working at Lowe’s.� Today I stared doing some volunteer work at the American Red Cross.� I’m trying to fill my days with productive activity until I really get to work.� I had applied for work about a week ago but had to go thru a security check (since 911) so I had to wait for that to come back.� I guess I was acceptable!� I am doing� basic administrative work.� They have a program called Whales Tales that teaches children water safety.� Each child that participates in the program has to be put into a data base.� About 3500 children will take the course in the next month – so that’s lots of names to enter.� On Friday night I went to a seminar “how to get into NASCAR.”� It’s put on by a husband wife team that is both in the industry.� It was very informative.� Many of the people who attended were in town for the race this weekend.� I was one of the few people that actually lived here.� I will follow up with them again this week to see what leads they might have for me.
Ugh. I am sooo tired of problems.
I wish my life were different. It's hard to pinpoint exactly what kind of different, but I do not like my life. I am not suicidal, don't worry. I am just... uncomfortable. I don't know what it is that makes me feel this way.
Maybe I know myself too well. I can tell you, without a trace of doubt, that I have pretty well non-existant self-esteem. I was taught not to like myself in school. Not by teachers, of course. I remember distinctly being eight years old and in class at my old school. We were working on drawing this ridiculous picture for a cookbook we were making as a class. I remember talking to the kids seated at my table. I asked to see their drawings. Each and every single one of them, when they held theirs up, said, "Well, it's really ugly, but here it is." And when they asked to see mine, I held mine up and said, "I like mine." And the expressions on their faces! As if I'd made some terrible faux-pas, by admitting I liked my drawing. It made me wonder...
And then I began to understand later that all their compliments, too, were false. We were taught to "be nice"-- and just where do you stop with that? People out and out lie about their opinions of things. I have. It wasn't generally accepted to say anything but "Oh, your ENTER SCHOOL PROJECT HERE is sooo nice! You're going to do so�much better than me!" If you didn't say that, you were mean. If you were mean, you had no friends. For a while I had no friends, because I said what I thought. I eventually learned, though, to see and compare for myself while smiling falsely and saying how lovely everyone was. Comparing unbiasedly? Maybe, maybe not. After all, who can I ask about it? Has no one else but me noticed? I don't want to ask.
Besides that, I am completely analytical when it comes to my opinions. I can pick apart my thought processes.�I can be extremely objective when it comes to what I think (especially when I try to decide my opinion on something). It's sometimes almost scary. I can at one time be extremely practical, almost to the point where it's not practicality anymore, and extremely empathetic and sensitive. I don't know how that's possible, but I am like that. At other times I just can't be hard and objective. I am actually very, very sensitive and sometimes that part of me comes out and won't go away. I am vulnerable, and it pisses the analytical part of me off.
I am having an extremely hard time living with myself right now. I am not self-loathing. It's just that I have so much to think about and decide and there is not a single person on the face of the planet that I can tell everything that is on my mind. Not one. How is one 15-year old supposed to deal?
I suppose that's why I feel like I'm older than I actually am. I feel old inside, like an adult more than�a child. And I wish I were a child again, in some ways.
I am not in despair. That's the wrong word. I guess the word is alone, and feeling helpless. It would help so much if I had some self esteem, but I don't. So I will manage. I will make it. I will try.
~Annabel
May 21, 2008
So, I think I am going to have my own version of TMZ, not sure what I will call it but I will tell you when I have a “famous person sighting.”� I will try to include pictures whenever possible.� So I have to go back to last Saturday at the race track I saw Kevin Harvick and Bruton Smith.� Sunday at church I was Larry McRenolds.� Today working at Lowe’s, I talked, yes I said talked, with Daryl Waltrip.� Very chatty fellow, imagine that.� I also say Bobby Hamiltion Jr. and his wife.� They were waiting to get on the elevator I was working at.� Now, I thought that he looked short on TV but in real life he is really short.� I tried to make chit chat with him but he was not a real talkative person.� I think the fact that he had to look up to talk to me probably made him nervous.� I also meet and shook hands with Marcus Smith (son of Bruton Smith today).� Working the elevators at Lowe’s you get the opportunity to talk with lots of people.� You know, they have no where to go until the elevator comes so they are forced to talk with you for at least 30 seconds.
May 20, 2008
Very Exciting News.� I just got call from Lindsey, my contact over at Lowe’s Motor Speedway.� She asked if on Saturday and Sunday I would be willing to take another assignment.� Who am I to say no, works works.� She then tells me that the Suite Attendant for Humpy Wheeler just called and is not able to make it and asked if I could replace her.� Now this does may not seem that exciting to many of you but is because you do not know “Mr. Humpy” as they refer to him at the track.� He is the General Manager/President of Lowe’s Motor Speedway and a well know person in the NASCAR world.� This is a great opportunity for me!!! �
Day two of work at Lowe’s.� Today the traffic is not as good as yesterday.� From the time I left home until I arrived in the parking area I Lowe’s I was in my car almost 1 � hours.� I did not realize that the “All Star” race was this popular.� When I got to the track about 1:30 tailgating was in full swing and the race was not starting until 7 pm.� These people are as enthusiastic as about there tailgating as Packer Fans.� Today I was assigned work the main entrance of the Speedway Club.� My assignment was to greet the guest and to check their bags.� We were to look for weapons, glass bottles, food and beverage.� No coolers are allowed in the Speedway Club.� If someone came with a cooler I would tell that we had a “cooler check” area so they could leave their cooler and pick up after the race.� Many were too lazy and would just leave it under our table.� We accumulated quite a few coolers by the end of the day!� Today I only had to work until about 8:30.��After being released I thought I needed to hurry home to watch race.� Then�I said to myself�– rush home, you are at the race track – watch the race here.�� So I made my way up to the grandstand area and watched the race.� It was great to take in the race but then had to deal with the crazy traffic after the event.� Another 2 hours in my car!!!!
So, I think I am going to have my own version of TMZ, not sure what I will call it but I will tell you when I have a “famous person sighting.”� I will try to include pictures whenever possible.� So I have to go back to last Saturday at the race track I saw Kevin Harvick and Bruton Smith.� Sunday at church I�saw Larry McRenolds.� Today working at Lowe’s, I talked, yes, I said talked, with Daryl Waltrip.� Very chatty fellow, imagine that.� I also saw Bobby Hamiltion Jr. and his wife.� They were waiting to get on the elevator I was working at.� Now, I thought that he looked short on TV but in real life he is really short.� I tried to make chit chat with him but he was not a real talkative person.� I think the fact that he had to look up to talk to me probably made him nervous.� I also meet and shook hands with Marcus Smith (son of Bruton Smith today).� Working the elevators at Lowe’s you get the opportunity to talk with lots of people.� You know, they have no where to go until the elevator comes so they are forced to talk with you for at least 30 seconds.
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