view member journals

You see, today is starting to be a good day today. First I just got my leave requested so I can go home for amonth starting May 20th. And second of all, I got off of work early today which makes me very happy. The only thing that ticks me off is that Pizza Hut has the phone off the hook again and is not taking orders for the next two hours. I hate it when the do that kind of shit. Oh well...other than that, I'm cool. Talk to you later. PEACE!!!

Hey it's alyssa and its 3:42 and today went out okay i didn't go to school today cuz i didn't feel good but still.I kept thinking about this boy named Hosa and i really like him and he likes me but i kept thinking about him and he's always on mind and whenever i am with him i am happy becuz he makes me happy. Don't u just love love and one thing that i hate about home is my mom all she cares about is her never me or my brother and i wish her and my dad were still together o ya my dad i luv my dad hes cool i luv him so much i meen i luv my mom too but she doesn't exsept it woll got to go!

I get snappy at people sometimes, b/c now i get aggravated and agitated easily. that's not nice. im normally a nice person. i have given up on "love". who would want me?? Alex didnt... and he supposedly loved me for a while there. no one would want a stupid depressed ugly crybaby. i want to change so bad. i just dont know how, or what to do. i need help... seriously. but i probably cant get proffessional help until 3 more months, when i turn 18. i dont know what to do.

[[Im not writing about what they say to above this... i want to write about what I want to... i need to get things off my chest]]

i hate my life. absolutely no one likes me at school, cuz im "different" and my parents are a bunch of jackasses who dont care about me. i absolutley hate it. i know i have so many options (religion) and i take them all, but nothing seems to be working. i just dont know what to do anymore. i hate my life!! absolutely hate it!! by the time i go to bed im in tears. yeah, i know i have it off a lot better than most people in the world, but that doesn't mean i'm enjoying it. sure i have a lot of fancy stuff, but i dont want it! its useless if you dont have the right morale behind it. usually my parents get me stuff to shut me up. i cant wait till i get out of this hell hole. id gladly trade my world for one of those poeple in africa who really deserve this kind of life (the luxeries, not the people in it). i dont think its fair that i have this "luxurious" life while they're in kenya suffering. i'm not even grateful for my "wonderful" life. i am greatful for the stuff, but not for the people, id trade it all away if i could. if i could just get out of these walls. this prison cell. i hate it. i might as well kill myself, besides, im thinking of going goth, then my parents would kill me for me. ugh! just make all the pain and suffering go away in the world, then work on my problem! UGH!!! i dont know what to do anymore. my parents are making me do all this stuff i dont want to do and they dont care. typical. i wonder why im surprised. JUST MAKE IT GO AWAY!! i absolutely hate this! but i feel guilty feeling bad for myself because there are people way worse than i. AAAAIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! i want to just run away, just run away and keep running. i hate everyone in my life. i have no friends, no loving family, just a whole bunch of stuff i didnt even want. i wonder why im so upset. i guess its because i have no love in my life, just an endless closet with prep clothes, (NOT A PREP!!) toys for todlers that my parents wont let me give away to a family that actually deserves it, and all this other shit that i dont deserve or want. i just want it all to go away, the people, the things,this life, just for it all to suddenly dissapear. I WISH I COULD DRIVE!!! then i go far away from here. so very far away. *sigh* i hate my parents and the people at my school and every one around me. they never did anything for me, yet they expect me to do stuff for them like they were my best friends in the whole wide world. just make it go away. JUST MAKE IT ALL GO AWAY!!!! im sorry i droned on like this, i really shouldnt be feeling sorry for myself like this. its not worth anyones time, just like me.

who really knows where this world is going or how long we all have left here....

who would have known that finding love would be so hard.......and what do we call happiness.......At times in my life I know I have experienced love and felt it...only thing it was short tem or I guess you could say another level of it ....Such as loving your brother or family oreven stronger the birth of your children.....but what about that run to the end of the world to catch up with your racing heart once you see that one person....or even from a phone call......IF you was ever to catch up with this out of the world kind of love,,,,,what would happen...the tickle in your stomache or the glow on your face when your glad you woke up too be there only for a feeling......would you be able to keep it the same and never let it come to a lesser degree or ever let it fade.....

why does it fade if it were really love..... humans are not perfect but love is suppose to be...... So how can an imperfect thing have a perfect anything......SO its only a matter of time bfore it spoils....even know we now this as we have for eternity We will still look steal 4 ity

hey yall

well yea my g-ma is not doing good &&she got to come home
but that dont mean she is doing
better.......but right now she is on hospice
&& we DO NOT knwo how long we have with her so
i was just wondering if yall could take a few
minutes of ur lyf&&pray for her && my
family!!!! well yea she is goign through tough
times and it is not goigng good so yea i would
just like id yall could pray for her......adn
if u only pray for her once than that is olkay
b/c 1 means alot !!!! well thanks for talking
ut imae and readint this well i hope yall have
a great day

LOVE ME

THANKSFOR YALLS HELP

ROXYGURL2012