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lmm27295 44, Female, USA - 15 entries

Oct 2006
12:39 PM EDT

I am so depressed today. I can hear B now "you are so ill when u r on your time." I have tired to act like everything is find when I have talked to him today. I am so sick of not having any $ and having to pinch every penny. I want to go back to sch but I don't know what I want to do. Plus I don't have the motivation to do it. I am so tired of the way I look. I wish I had the $ to get my hair done and go shopping. B called at lunch and said that C had called and told him that T's mom was calling him wanting to go out and get "messed up" and that her and her mother were not getting along. I just wish he would tell C that he did not give a f about her and that she could go ahead and crack her brains out. T has a stable enviroment b/c his grandmother, her mom, takes care of him. I am so frustrated. I wish B would worry more about us than that s***. If I tell him it bothers me he won't tell me what C says even though he prob don't tell me the whole story anyway but he will just get pissed at me. I hate my life so bad somethimes.

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SavanaSSantos 33, Female, USA - 30 entries

Oct 2006
8:38 AM EDT

MAGGIE!!! THIS IS IT!! COMMENT ME!!

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jleigh09 38, Female, United Kingdom - 35 entries

Oct 2006
10:27 AM WEDT

yesterday was ok i hate sundays they always seem boring iw ent over stevens flat and w reneted a film and cuddled up on the sofa until tyler woke up. The only time i am having fun is when me and tyler are with steven. Am staying the night there tonight thank god.Tyler is asleep at the moment had a really bad night with him last night he didnt fall asleep till 11 and was waking up every 2 hours last night so i think he is shattered. Nan is out today whic is nice coz i means i get te house tomyself to just chill and relax and enjoy some time on my own.which i dont get often. i dunno bout u lot out there but christmas is coming round really quick i am worrying so much that i wont have enough money i am looking forward to it though coz its tyler first christmas. i started cring last night i dunno why i just felt really low my emoptions were all over the place and dad didnt help by having a go at me the weather is just as dipressing it hasnt stopped rainign the last few days i dunno i am loosing the plot.

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kid 34, Female, New York, USA - 20 entries

Oct 2006
4:59 AM EDT

i'm still mad at kelly and sandra for wut they did and my mom finally found out and surpriseingly she wasn'tmad or that upset but she was i could hear it in her voice and it scared me.

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1 comment(s) - 10:48 PM - 10/02/2006

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Bonnie 66, Female, New York, USA - 14 entries

Oct 2006
2:47 PM EDT

This Is the Meaning of Love … by Emily Matthews Someone who makes you feel good about living Who brings out the you who is joyful and giving – This is the meaning of love. Something that gives you a chance to be strong, Or trust in another to help you along – This is the meaning of love. Somewhere that you feel like you’ve been forever – A place where you’re growing and learning together – This is the meaning of love. This was part of a card that Steve gave me early on in our relationship - I remember being quite surprised that a man had such an ability to pick out something so touching and not feel the least bit intimidated in giving it.

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sparklerainbow91 34, Female, California, USA - 3 entries

Oct 2006
9:40 AM PST

today was a good day. i had fun talking to my friends at school and stuff. i saw the guy i like hugging up on his gf, which made me so mad and sad at the same time. maybe he isnt the right guy for me. there is someone out there for everyone, even if its not now. there is, i just want to find my guy. :( well i think i should give up on him because he has a gf and he probably won't break up with her for me. one of my mom's friends asked us to take care of this sickly kitten. she found it and the pound only takes it if it weighs 3 pounds. it weighs nothing. it is skin and bones. it is so sick with all kinds of things wrong with it. of course knowing my mom, we will end up keeping it. she has a heart for sick and helpless animals. it is so weird though, cause as my sister and i were coming home, i was just saying how i hadn't found an animal yet. well that was pretty much my day nothing much. well until tomorrow, chow!

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lilvixen 35, Female, California, USA - 10 entries

Oct 2006
1:02 PM EDT

hey today was a good day for me. i had fun at skool and found out that alot of boys like me. well i g2g byex for now

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jleigh09 38, Female, United Kingdom - 35 entries

Oct 2006
4:58 PM WEDT

i feel so pissed of i was going to be staying at stevens but now i'm not he has decided to go to work so i wont see him now prbably till next week sometime god i feel so angry i was looking forward to tonight so much and spending tomorrow with him. i hate it when steven lets me down u know when we make plans and he changes them. i just feel let down. it good i'm not seeing him this week now coz we would probabky end up arguing and i dont want to. anyway never mind life goes on and i will see him next week.

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SterlynSilverRose 37, Female, Texas, USA - 3 entries

Oct 2006
10:46 PM EDT

What did I do today? I actually sat down and did absoultely jack squat. I laid in bed and watched about 15 episodes of slayers. I finished the first part of the series and stuff ...Yeah fun right? Hell it got my room mate and suite mates to leave me alone. Also I watched the ending episode to Ouran High Host Club. 26 episodes and this one was the most action packed. I ate it up like most girls my age would though...It was a sad ep but happy at the same time. Tamaki came back to everyone and the host club will still be there. Not only that but, apparently Kyouya's dad and Tamaki's dad both want Haruhi to marry their sons. That impressed me. Maybe the fact that it impressed me is because although I might not be as cute as Haruhi I have some of her personality. But, of course since that ended I had to find something else to watch right? Well, I have decided that I am going to be very patient and wait till like Wednesday or Thursday for D.Gray-Man and Death Note Episodes to come out. I can't wait since I have been reading D. Gray-Man. Oni-con is Oct 20th so this is 18 days and counting. I am looking forward to it and I think that it's going to be a whole lot of fun. I just want to have some fun and see my friends since things at my recent college are not going to well in the friend department. I already feel myself distancing quite a far way away from everyone here. Not that it matters or people notice much. I DID come to study. I didn't come to make friends after all. It kinda sucks but, I am getting my gamer hands back and slowly I am able to feel my spirits lifted due to manga, anime and games. Yeah, I know that it's pathetic that I cling to those things, but that is really what defines me as who I am. I guess you could say that it makes we really happy to where I don't need to bank on the companion ship of others to give me that. Why rely on people when they can't even be there for you on the most important or mundane occasions? I would much rather just know that I am working for myself and to better myself as a whole. But, in the interaction department I guess I will just never get any better. Oh well, not a big deal right? Right. That is what I will tell myself. Even though I do want a boyfriend sometime I don't need one now. A wise man once told me not to look for anything lasting in college because guys just want the girls that will 'put out' and I think he hit the nail on the head. Welp enough for my random thoughts. I'm going to log onto Pirch and see if Vulspeth is on. He owes me rp.

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paxangel 33, Female, Texas, USA - 103 entries

Oct 2006
10:29 PM EDT

I LOVE THIS SONG. LAST RESORT Cut my life into pieces, this is my last resort Suffocation, no breathing Don't give a f*ck if I cut my arm bleeding This is my last resort Cut my life into pieces, I've reached my last resort Suffocation, no breathing Don't give a f*ck if I cut my arm bleeding Do you even care if I die bleeding? Would it be wrong? Would it be right? If I took my life tonight? Chances are that I might Mudilation out of sight, and I'm contimplating suicide Cause I'm losing my sight, losing my mind Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine Losing my sight, losing my mind Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine I never realized I was spread too thin Till it was too late and I was empty within Hungry, feeding on my chaos and living in sin Downward spiral, where do I begin? It all started when I lost my mother No love for myself and no love for another Searching to find a love upon a higher level Finding nothing but questions and devils Cause I'm losing my sight, losing my mind Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine Losing my sight, losing my mind Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine Nothing's alright, nothing is fine I'm running and I'm crying I'm crying, I'm crying I'm crying, I'm crying I ... can't ... go ... on ... living ... this ... way Cut my life into pieces, this is my last resort Suffocation, no breathing Don't give a f*ck if I cut my arm bleeding Would it be wrong? Would it be right? If I took my life tonight? Chances are that I might Mudilation out of sight, and I'm contimplating suicide Cause I'm losing my sight, losing my mind Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine Losing my sight, losing my mind Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine Nothing's alright, nothing is fine I'm running and I'm crying I ... CAN'T ... GO ... ON ... LIVING ... THIS ... WAY Can't go on ... living this way Nothing's alright!

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