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Scandalous05 39, Female, USA - 3 entries

Oct 2006
8:35 PM EDT

what the hell is going on, i swear, where should i start, okay so i'm driving home from canal street with my two of my best girlfriends last thursday and bam this f***ing b**** slams into the back of my ass, i wanted to beat her ass i was soooooo fucking angry she fucked up my car......( i can write and talk without cursing i'm just mad).. and then my boyfriend all of a sudden says he is gettin kicked out of where he lives and his only place of refuge is at his babymoms house,WHAT!!!!! u see ....... yeah so u tell me ~Scandalous.........................................

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Jane 58, Female, USA - 50 entries

Oct 2006
7:27 PM EDT

Hello, well I am a little behind in my journal. I'm am learning to search out the wifi hotspots in town so I can get an internet connection. Thank goodness Panera Bread has great food. Our racing weekend was just great. Talladega is definately the place to see exciting racing. It is probably one of the best races I've seen at a track. And that is without any big crashes. It really is fun to watch with all the lead changes - and if you watched the race you know at anytime anyone can win!!! I heard on the news hear in Charlotte that the track has offered additional security for Brian Vickers this weekend. After off loading our cheesecake stands, pick up our passes and parking the truck we headed into the race track. The passes that Mitch gave us let us enter the track anywhere we wanted. We watch practice and then stayed for the arca race. That, to my suprise, was also very exciting. After the race we went into the infield to watch the live performance of Trackside. I of course had to make my way to the front of the stage!! But it was Jeff who got on TV. He was on the phone with a friend watching the show and they saw him!! After the show we needed some dinner so we dialed up some guys that Jeff know's from Masonville Cheese. They were camping at a camp ground near us so we headed over there. They were suppose to be making turtle soup - at this point I was soooo hungery I would have eaten stone soup. Well it turns out that they started drinking too soon and the soup never got made. But they did have a camping neighbor give them some Jumbolia (sp?) it was absolutely delicious. The following night after the truck race we hooked up with Jeff who I worked with at ECI. Thankfully he invited us over for steak so we had another nights meal covered. We drove over to his camp sight because it was quite a distance from the track. It is unbelievable how many people come to this track. The camp grounds go on for what seems miles. Sunday morning Jeff Marcon and his family came down to the track so we tailgated with them before the race. We also had another truck that pulled in early Sunday morning so he joined our group. He was what I would call your typical redneck. He had what I call sommer teeth- some are there and some are not!! After the race it was early to bed for my next trip to Charlotte. J

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SallysSilentMurders 35, Female, Louisiana, USA - 17 entries

Oct 2006
5:01 PM EDT

Sisters Forever thought I was worthless, thought life would never be happy. but just when I was about, to throw in the towel. you came along and picked me up. you showed me joy and happiness. you showed me love and wonderful beauty. inside yourself you've shown me, everything I could possible need. so this is why I say to you, I love you. Sisters are forever and that means we're stuck, Like glue. So even if you try you can't, Get rid of me I promise. So love me or hate me. Here I'll stay forever. I'll be by your side, Every step of the way. Leading you to things you never thought before. Helping you along the way. Keeping you on track, Whenever you may loose your way. You showed me such caring, Like I've never known in my life. And so here we are. Sisters no matter what. Through thick and thin. The blood runs through us. Friends Until the End take my hand, hold it tight, and when your scared, squeeze it tight. I'll be there, for you no matter what, to pick you up. to make you laugh. to wipe your tears. to take away the glass. I'll be there for you, with a shoulder to lean on, whenever you cry. I'll be there for you. No questions asked why. I'll be your friend, Until the end. Stick together, and we can win it. Life is hard at times, But that's what, I'm here for. To see you through. Whatever You May, Go Through. So just remember, That I was a true friend, Cause I stuck by you, 'Til the end. Friends Forever friends forever true as can be, like sisters you and me. we've known each other only a short time. yet it feels like forever already. maybe it's because we're so alike. I dunno but you seem so amazing to me. I've only had guys care for me like you do. Never has a friend actually been, so open minded and happy for me no matter what. never has one of my friends related, to me as well as you seem to. like sisters we are two of a kind. we have our differences yet we're the same. isn't it amazing how two people, can become friends as quick as we did? well maybe not but we trust each other, like I've never been able to have a trust, with anyone else ever. I care for you, you care for me. If your sad then I'm sad. You cry I cry so on and so on. If you need a shoulder to lean on, or someone to pick you up when you fall, Then here I am for you always. You've become my best friend. You're awesome to the max. I am so glad that we met. I suppose it's the first time, anyone has ever expressed such a caring for me. Like a real family member. my influences here's a list of people living and non-living who've influenced my life someway and somehow. Alice- she is my bestest friend,my closest sister,and I don't know what I'd do without her.You've taught me sooo much already girl.I love you soooo much cus your my sissy for life.I love yah chick.You are such an amazing bright young girl.Don't let anyone ever tell you that you can't do what you put your mind to because I know that you can do whatever you want.I am so glad that we met and become friends because I wouldn't be the person I am now w/out you girl.You're an inspiration to me and one of the people I look forward to getting to talk to when I come home from school at the end of the day.I smile just cause I know I get to talk to you.I always have your back no matter what chick cause we're jus dat kewl lol.Keep it gangsta style lol.You're beautiful no matter what they say and words can't bring you down today. Rio-my best friend and twin sister.You're awesome and crazy.You are special in your own way as much as that sounds like a barney song you are.You're there when I need yah the most even if yah are a little wack sometimes.I still love yah chick.Cus we're twin sissy's for-eva Chick haha you're stuck with me for life.I'm glad you're in my life and I'm sorry if I don't always show that I care for yah.But I always have yah back no matter what even if we're mad at each other cus I loves yah bunches.Don't worry about the stupid people who make fun of you they are jus jealous cause they wish they were you.You are so amazingly beautiful in your own creative little ways and you have an amazing glow to you.Love be with you through your life. Darry-I am so glad that I had a chance to date you and be apart of who you are and your world.You are truly one of a kind and for that I will always look up to you.I know that you have my back no matter what cause we're that close and I have yours no matter what hands down no questions asked.If there comes a day where you are sad I'll be there to cheer yah up.You have been such an influence in my life both good and bad.You've taught me so many things in the three almost four years that we've known each other.You are awesome no matter what people say.I love the way that you don't care what people think of you because it shows that you are a really strong person.It's been such a joy to get to see you grow and change throughout the years.It's amazing what a great person you became.I'm really happy for you and Lauren I hope you two last for a while.I loves yah bunches dude you're awesome.Two thumbs wayyyy wayyyyy up.No matter what life always turns out better in the end and it gets better so if at any point it becomes unbearable just hold on a little longer things will get better. Brandon-He is my crazy christian cousin,but he's crazy for Christ so he's aight.I love him sooo much and he has influenced me soo much.Although we've had our disagreements throughout the years all the same I love him bunches.He has helped me out through many situations.W/out even knowing it but he's told me things about God or the bible.Or just talked things out with me and we've had decusions about it and stuffs.He is such an inspiration to me.With his wisdom and his insite of God.I look up to him because he to once was like I was about a year ago another normal cussing teen who had gotten into some bad influences but he changed all that around.He got a second chance he could have died but didn't because his mission in life wasn't over.I love him sooooo much he's awesome.Can I live, If you wanna be in my shoes then get in, you can talk the talk, but aint lived the life I live, so can I live, that's the question. Wolf Flames-She is an amazing person even though she doesn't think so.She draws awesome to.I've known her for about five years now and me and her are really close.I love the goofy crazy moments we have when we're hanging out it's always soo much fun.She's inspired me inspite of myself and my gloom to grow and change as a person.I've learned alot from her and I hope she's learned for me to.She's my sissy or sister.That means she's stuck with me forever haha.Anyways but she knows she loves me to so yeppers.That's mine and her word Yeppers.We're crazy but we are kewl like that.I don't know what I'd do without her.She's awesome!!!!!!!Mwah I'd die for her cus she's my sister.Blue men.I have a blue house and everything is blue for him and himself and he ain't got nobody to listen. Sincerely this is five of the people who have influenced me that I care about dearly.

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SallysSilentMurders 35, Female, Louisiana, USA - 17 entries

Oct 2006
4:56 PM EDT

Tears Fall my tears fall down like rain. the sky opened up the clouds, turned a dark black. and the rain poured down. onto me soaking me. but here I sit alone in the night. soaking wet but I don't care. because no one can tell, that I'm crying. they won't think to ask what's wrong. my heart feels like it's pierced, so deeply that nothing can cure it. so tonight I want to cry. I don't cry anymore. I'm so tired of this life. I've been alright for months now, But I don't know if I can keep it up, for much longer now. So here I am, So alone in this life. And there's nothing in the world, Anyone can do for me. I hate this so much. This feeling of being unloved. This feeling of being a failure. So the tears fall down from my eyes, Like rain pouring down. Soaking my face. my eyes have turned inked red now. Agree? if you think you are a pimp chances are you're not. if you think that you are so big and bad chances are, people I really laughing at you behind your back. I suppose some people never learn their lessons though. But they pay for it in the end. Don't hurt people who care about you, It might just be the one thing in your life that stays stable. If you are mean to those who have done nothing to you, Or mean to anyone for that matter you get it worse in the end. You might think oh nothing will ever happen bad to me, That's where your wrong. If you cheat on loved ones you'll be cheated on. If you hurt loved ones they'll hurt you one day. One day you'll find that one person you can't live without, You'll find out that it was all just one big lie. It'll hurt but in the end they'll have the last laugh. Or the other person who you hurt will. Because you hurt them and then karma got you back. No need to fight it karma always gets you in the end. Be a kind,nice giving, and generous person. The world will be a better place but it starts with you. Spread a little joy suck in and hold on to the meanness, That is dished back at you pretend that it's nothing. Be there for those who have no one. Be friend the friendless. What do you do? so what do you do, when the world's colors have faded to gray? what do you do when your world caves in. how do you react when, nothing ever goes your way. when everyone around turns their back on you, what do you do? when it feels like the sun, won't rise tomorrow, what do you do? sit and cry the day away. just to watch the red blood, flow. How Can I Live if I'm not suppose to be with you, why is my heart telling me that I am. Is this just all an illusion. Will I wake up one day and, Find out everything I lived was a lie. Will I be torn in two. Just like you. How will I be able to live, If you're not in my life. I can't imagine even one day, Of not being able to see you. Not being able to stare at you. But what hurts the most is, That you never seemed to want to get to close. I want to know everything about you. I want to know all your life's story. I don't want to miss one thing. I don't want to close my eyes. If I got to sleep next to you. I'm probably watch you all night long. I'd be wondering if it'd be, Like this with us forever. How can I live life like this, Forever and ever. I want to make it last. I want you to be mine and only mine. I Cry I cry in the rain so no one can tell. so when I lift my head, they only think it's, the rain on my face. unless they look. look deep into my eyes, and reach into my soul. not many can though. I'm a pretty hidden person. I can act as happy, As can be w/out really being it. It drives me crazy it drives me crazy that he doesn't even glance at me. it drives me crazy that to where for him, would be like waiting for rain, in the middle of a drought. pointless and useless. i hate how he makes me feel so horrible. but I love how when I'm with him, he makes me feel like I'm, on top of the world. but w/out him I feel as if I'm nothing. I suppose I am better off on my own. but it just hurts so much. and then to see my friend, with her boyfriend, getting to joke and play around with him. and it drives me more crazy, because it hurts to not have someone, to get to do that with. it drives me crazy that he doesn't feel the same. I don't Think and I don't think he knows just how much it hurts me to have to let him go.but I know if I continue down this path I'll end up right back where I started at and that'd be worse then before.he doesn't own my heart he is my heart.I'd die for him.sadly I can't say he do the same.and he probably doesn't know who I'm talking about ither.and I don't think he knows how much it breaks me to pieces everyday just to have to face him.Not to be close beside him pulled into his warmth.It drives me nuts not to be his but I can't show that to him.It'd be weakness in his eyes.

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Mzmoss03987 33, Female, Ohio, USA - 6 entries

Oct 2006
4:53 PM EDT

today was like usual days.Lots of drama. my friends are usual except for 1. Kayla. shes what can i say sort of mean. One girl called kalya a dumb b**** and kayla called the other girl a fat b****. it was funny but mean. i was laughing i couldn't help it. It was REALLY FUNNY. but i guess i have to go now so ill type yo ya later Bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Rily 60, Female, Florida, USA - 6 entries

Oct 2006
3:44 PM EST

"Perfect love means to love the one through whom one became unhappy." - Soren Kierkegaard

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Jane 58, Female, Florida, USA - 50 entries

Oct 2006
3:42 PM EDT

Guess what - I'm back at Panera Bread. Yesterday was mostly a traveling day and settling into a hotel. This morning I got up and went over to Lowe's Motor Speedway to make one last attempt at finding a job for this weekends race. But it doesn't look like it is in the cards for me. To tell you the truth I was a little nervous to just show up and try and find a job. But I worked thru it and the stomach ache I had prior to going was gone when I left. Even though I did not have a job. I hope this cold calling for a job gets easier after I have done it for a while. A good portion of my morning was spend catch up on emails once I got to Panera Bread. I then meet with a couple in Mooresville that have a room for rent in their house. They have a really nice place and seem like real down to earth people. I think it will be a good option for me. Doesn't sound like I have did much but that practically took me the entire day. So now I am back at Panera having a delicious dinner and on the internet again. I'm guessing I will have breakfast a Panera Bread also. Maybe if the NASCAR thing doesn't work out I could do for Panera Bread what Jared did for subway!!! J

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blackroseangel 33, Female, Louisiana, USA - 27 entries

Oct 2006
2:06 PM CDT

omg i know i just finish my frist one but i just got a phone call from Josh!! yay! but omg its has been a while since i spoken to him. i have been crushing on him since the 6th grade and now i am n the 9th grade. and well he isnt the smartest or the goodest person u will ever meet but he is such a sweet person to me and we been eyeing each other for a while but we couldnt go out in kenilworth cause so many of them girls r messy. but anyways back to the phone call. he called me and was like Jasmine i havent seen u in a while (me: its been since June) lol. he was like well u know Friday is the thirteenth and u know thirteen gates will b open so do u wanna go wit me. i was thinking ot myself hell yeah! but i have a boyfriend. but i told josh yeah. so he is picking me up at 6 friday and we r going to go to thirteen gates ( we have to go early or its going ot b a line around the block) and after that he wanna take me to ralph and kacos. well i have no problem but wen n the hell did josh started to b like this. wen we frist met he would call around 12 n da morning asking can he come over to spend the nite. i laugh at his jokes but some days he dont b playing. but josh is a gangsta and i know him alot more than any ohter person. rite now he is 16. and i am 14 two yrs apart. i wanna go out wit him so bad but i got my deon so i cant. but oh well. so i guess i go and i better get off cause i have homework to do and i am hungry

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blackroseangel 33, Female, Louisiana, USA - 27 entries

Oct 2006
1:54 PM CDT

okay first day writing all of my life, secrets, deeds misunderstanding of many ppls and of course wat i think about life. my life is horrible sometimes pleasent undescrible (yes i use many adjs) and so much its hard dealing wit an acholoic motherwho has temper tantrums every day. her and my daddy got divorced so its hard on me i loved my daddy and always will. my sister is sometimes bearable but sometimes she can b a major bitch. she cheats on her bfs and she claims that she isnt a freak and she is a faithful person. NOT. I am a person who isnt to hide anything n my life..yes i have jungle fever and a very crazy sexuality. i am a freak but not a whore as some girls sa. i dont go aorund screwing everything in sight i only mess around wit my boyfriend deon and we have been together for a while..longer tha a week but lesser than a year. but we connect..not stick to hole but life to life. to many girls mistake me as: Jasmine Brown the red bone form baton rouge taht likes to have sex everyday and give nice resents to boys n hotel rooms. LIES! how did they get this stuff? that isnt true at all. so i laugh at it mmost of the time but sometimes i wanna rip then hoes apart. they are theones who b messing and flirting around wit every boy some cnat even get a man. so why r they picking on me? oh well the world may nvr know. Banyways more wit my life i am a great writer tho my stories get lost i cna tkeep up wit stuff lots of ppl says that i should try and get it publish they r so good. i love them myself yes. some does have a few sexual conduct but oh well its like they nvr heard it themselves. okay i admit i am a girl who gets turn on alot who seen almost everything and has been exposed but i know i am quite young for al of that but hey i gotta know. it rlly doesnt matter how old you are but how cna u handle yourself. an immature person would b like omg...thats soo sick! and eww! AND STILL WATCH IT. i think that is very annoying. i mean if u ike it oh well u like it. its not a big deal. well iat is wen u take it overboard and getr pregant or wit an STD. but i am naot sexually active at this moment i was exposed but i didnt take over board as in sex every week or night. like these girls at my old skol. they were failures some nice some bitchy. well sthey got pregant. the nce ones stayed n skool tho they were 16 still n the 6th grade. but the bitcy ones were like i am droppingout of skool and they bring their babies to skool wen they r leaving and show them off like its nt a big deaL. WELL N MY EYES IT IS. ia m sorry but having a chle that young and u barely have na education and plus no job. thats horrible. but thats their faults. anyways ia m hungry so i write later cya

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lmm27295 44, Female, Louisiana, USA - 15 entries

Oct 2006
8:37 AM EDT

Well, it was another weekend of me wanting to put a gun to my head. We had T this weekend. Sat. I went wedding shopping with my mom and realized something. My best friend J was engaged onced and she would tell me stories of how when she went wedding shopping she would get sick. She said she would feel sick on her stomach. She felt like the marriage she was getting ready to go through was all wrong and at the end, he left her and they never got married. I realized this weekend I am having those same feelings. I felt so sick on Sat when went to Concord and it did not help any that we got into it when I was trying to WEDDING SHOP. Its not that I don't love him or want to marry him its just that things are so bad that I am so scard to do it. We fight all the time and I am so miserable. We got into on Sat. and he talked to me like total s*** infront of Tyler, over the ph. I was so pissed, but in his eyes he does nothing wrong. Oh, and ofcorse, I was over reacting b/c of my period. He said I'm sorry on Sunday after we went to church and we went and took T home from church he told his "grammie" how he wanted to go to the church again. She said she would take him. I am not going to church with her. The only reason why we went in the first place was so B can look good to his father. We have not went to church in forever, and all of a sudden B's dad has been taken his parents to church so B feels the need to go. Kind of funny he only wants to go when his dad is going, plus it is in A. And one of the reasons we moved to L was to get away from's B's ex and now he wants to go to church w/ them???? Makes no damn sense. On the way home we stopped by to see K and the baby in the hosp. and when we were leaving B asked me if I wanted a baby and I told him no, not right now. I told him we could not afford one right now. He got so pissed telling me it was fine w/ him not to have kids and that he did not ant to put $ into another child. and accused me of not wanting kids which I never said!! I just said not now b/c I am not ready. He told me that there was no reason for us to wait to have s**. Which has nothing to do w/ why we are waiting. He said "why wait, not like there is anything else special." Another reason is why would I want to bring a child into a bad situation. A situation like we are in right now where we cannot even get along. It would be the same thing as R&C. 2 fighting parents. Things have been so bad between us that I don't have those kind of "lovie" feelings anymore. They are gone. I am so hurt and have no clue of what I did wrong. I cannot take this anymore, I am so miserable at work and it is to the pt I hate even getting out of the bed. He doesn't want to try or make things work b/c he would not contuie acting this why. I told him Sat. night that I am not trying anymore, I really feel like giving up.

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