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    Shorty  33, Female, Indiana, USA - 2 entries
19
Feb 2007
4:07 PM EST
   

I only pretend to be someone I'm not when I know there's something to gain from it. Even though it's not the greatest thing for my inner self and outer image,if impressing someone is so important- or the last possible resort- I'll admit that sometimes I tell a few lies about myself to look better for others. But if being someone I'm not is the only way to get someone's attention so they'll like me, it's probaly not a person that I should focus on hanging out with.
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    Lost  39, Female, Washington, USA - 76 entries
19
Feb 2007
3:32 PM EDT
   

so i spring my ankle snowboarding and can work after i have worked so hard to prepare for all the inspection thats came up today and all i could do was sit there and watch i couldn't do anything and every one but me was getting all kinda of anything to do or credit for helping or making it possible for stuff i had worked so hard for people didn't even want it got it i mean all i want to do in live is stand on the side lines and help make someone else great go done in history but today i didn't even get to help i had to watch
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    cursers44  35, Female, Florida, USA - 14 entries
19
Feb 2007
11:25 AM HNP
   

heligh God can you show me your there?

heligh God can you show me you care?

don't ever let me thinki'm good enough.

don't ever tell me enough is enough.

no make me fight and make me rough

my heart might not look that strong

but i know it is by the way it's come long

yes a long way away we trvel hand in hand

i know you listen and i admit i'm scared

sometimes i wonder if you even care

sometimes i scream just so you'll hear my prayers

i'm foolish i know i'm a sinner inside

because of my faults i fight as i cry

but i'm not giving up so i know you are here

and every day i feel so lost and weird

but i admit no good exhists

not without you were bad now renewed

i'm lost so lost screaming out to you

yes i love you yes i love you

yes i do i do i love you i LOVE YOU

and i don't know why my eyes are turning red

why my arms are tired and dead

why i lay motionless in bed

i guess i need some direction where to point my love my love

oh and i cry when i don't know what to do with you

is there space in me no no space for you but

i know one day you'll bring me in your arms and my sin will end

i'll be clean again

dear God if your here and i know damn well you are

please hug me please erase from me my scars!

and i know one day i'll be old and gray

i will die and say

Lord please come take me away and i'll be new in you

and i want you to know

i'm so sick inside

but i am still alive

so i'll breath for you i'll breath in you

until the fateful day arives where i die

no thoughts just a dream

soon erased and washed clean in this light

that illuminates my heart that is dark now is bright

and i know you can make me clean

i'm not sure who i am but i know you are mine no i'm yours take me all have me all breath me all have me all

take me doll you are mine my God your daughter prays to you so one day she'['ll be more for you i'm sorry, i'm sorry i love you i love you

i need you to breath you

please kiss me please miss me

please hold me

hold me close

i love you

all in the name of your son

Jesus Christ

gave up his life

was raised from the dead

gave us salvation

amen*~
1 comment(s) - 09:10 AM - 08/09/2012
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    tealprincess18  35, Female, Virginia, USA - 88 entries
19
Feb 2007
2:26 PM EDT
   

well nothing much here.. i just got an e:amil form john so i am pretty happy... but other than that i have to go get ready for a staff meeting...
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    Lululand123  33, Female, Illinois, USA - 10 entries
18
Feb 2007
10:42 PM EDT
   

Hey all you bloggers out there!! Id like to inform you that ive had a really crappy day!!! Except my friend slept over! Well the boy that I really like likes one of my best friends! So Im not doing great today but Ill get over it. I would give you a peice of advice. Don't opening like a boy. It will make you day as worse as mine! Luv everyone!
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    XxOctoberxX  37, Female, Kansas, USA - 6 entries
19
Feb 2007
7:29 AM MST
   

i had a dream about you last night. i feel so alone, hold me. T_T
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    storminorma  64, Female, Florida, USA - 34 entries
18
Feb 2007
6:47 AM EDT
   

No, what would be the point to that? That constitutes fraud, fraud is another word for lie, and I dislike liars! Who has anything to gain by falsehood, that finds it is worth having to live with a guilty conscience..providing you have one of course.
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    SamanthaAlexandra  37, Female, California, USA - 60 entries
18
Feb 2007
2:46 PM PST
   

I was stressing crazy mad today. I thought of a boring yellow open field - I felt better. I want to go on a road trip. I know exactly where this open field is and I want to go.
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    carots  37, Female, Canada - 81 entries
18
Feb 2007
6:28 PM EDT
   



The Hearts Desires

We go about with the same routines every day. Basically repeating the same day each day. We begin to suspect that out lives are planned out, perfectly in order and unchangeable. And yet, a moment in time can change everything. One moment is all it could ever take for our lives to turn completely upside down and in that moment for us to realize that the person that we were trying to be and thought we were isn't what we are. Though we may have been waiting our entire lives for this brief moment of completion we are left somewhat empty at its conclusion. The kiss that we had been yearning and pining for, once gained, becomes a mistake or poor timing and the nostalgia is gone. Instead of a new beginning we are left with sewing up the rips and tears of our already fragmented life. The life we thought we wanted is not possible and not only do we realize that our dream is deadened but all at once we realize that we had no right to dream this dream in the first place. In the process we hurt people, whether unintentionally or otherwise, we change their lives as well. Instead of giving ourselves the thing we always wanted we only end up hurt, scared and alone; even more unsure of ourselves and our place within this world. With one moment full of possibilities and tenderness comes a life time of shame, disillusionment and guilt. Was it worth it? Unfortunatly, yes.
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    smb  50, Female, Wyoming, USA - 129 entries
18
Feb 2007
2:12 PM MST
   

I did end up watching Kerry's boys and Ty stayed the night with Jett! They all had fun!

Sat. I was able to get out by myself (Britni babysat): went and tanned, went to Rec worked out! Had an AWESOME workout! I am super sore today (arms and abs). Then I went to a jewlery party and spend 100.00! So much for the money lectures we've been getting at church! AHG! Then we went to Trevor's 3rd birthday party. It was fun but we were all tired when we came home!

Today (Sunday) we went to church and then came home and ate lunch. Then Jay called and talked me into coming to Sundance to go sledding on Dad's property, It was pretty fun! SO, we had CN meet us in Beulah for dinner. YUMMY steak! The boys were pretty good! :) Now we are staying the night in spearfish with CN, who has a BAD headcold! We missed him!

Have monday off for Presidents Day! Gonna hang out with CN and then head home I guess!
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