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maureen 62, Female, Ohio, USA - 8 entries

Feb 2007
8:13 PM EDT

we are starting couples counseling saturday.Im not sure what I expect to happen, but am glad we are trying. She has been telling me how much me being disabled is a financial burden to her. I have been fighting for my disabilty for over 2 years. I wish I could make it happen faster, I just have no control over the social security time table. She is so stressed about money. I know we dont have alot. Our bills are always late. But somehow I cant make her see how much we DO have. There are many people who have much less.I feel like the universe gives you back what you give to it. She is giving off so much negativity, that negative seems to falling in her lap every moment of the day, and unfortuneately what comes into her life is also in my life. I just feel like maybe we are on different paths spiritually. I am grateful for what I have, and most of the time I dont complain about what I dont have. I know what hard times are (grew up in a family of 13), and our life is not as hard as it could be.

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heartbreak2007 37, Female, Pennsylvania, USA - 27 entries

Feb 2007
8:08 AM EDT

Hey I just can't stand this stinking school. They are giving this girl so many privlages and I can't stand it. She is going to graduate because her aid does all her work. She is going to be taking the test that we are having tomorrow and she hasn't been here for any of it. I am just real sick and tired of all this bull shit. there is no need for any of it.

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tealprincess18 35, Female, Virginia, USA - 88 entries

Feb 2007
7:09 PM EDT

hey today was an ok day... i got an e:mail from john and he misses me... i miss him so much!!! i havnt seen him in almost a month... well other than that me and my mom got into a major fight,and she yelded at me for what felt like forever.. well i have to go i need to get ready for bed cuz it is 10:10 at night.. till next time..*Destiney

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madhousewife 69, Female, Michigan, USA - 48 entries

Feb 2007
6:13 AM EDT

Dispite how I feel about myself, I think if you ask those who know me , they all like me. They know if they work with me I do my job well and am willing to help them any way I can. I enjoy doing little things like giving everyone little valentines, decorating the work place for C'Mas and putting up little goodies for everyone. The only thing is I don't actually get close to anyone. I don't like talking on the phone, I don't take things out of the work place.

I'm not really a people person anymore. Everytime I go out I just seem to encounter the rude, and nasty. People shoving, riding my bumper, cussing, ect. Kids are getting awful!! There are no manners anymore at almost any age. The other day there was a bright spot. The woman in front of me at the grocer had a basket full and I had a greeting card. I was prepared for the wait, no problem. She asked if thats all I had and let me go first. I was so surprised. When I was little Mom always did that and we still do, but I haven't had that done for me in a long time.

I realize there is good , it just seems as the years go by it gets less. I can't believe the changes I have seen just in the last 20yrs. I have lived in Europe and the U.S changes so much faster than any other country, and we are arrogant. There is a reason we are called "ugly americans" everywhere. We are like a candle burning too bright ,too fast. We need to slow things down .

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sloppysqueen08 35, Female, California, USA - 8 entries

Feb 2007
12:51 PM PST

i didnt go to school im still feelin a lil sick, i went to work with nessa, they showed us how to work the pager it was cool! then i came home and got on the computer. and i havent talked to joe for awhile, so maybe at 9 i will.

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Tedybearbtch4u 40, Female, Pennsylvania, USA - 2 entries

Feb 2007
3:56 PM EDT

Tomorrow is a new beginning But Tomorrow could be the end of a new beginning so why not Live today?!... Please tell me or explain to me why we call this Country Freedom?! Why can't weed be Legal?!

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2 comment(s) - 01:45 PM - 02/24/2007

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Smilez 58, Female, Ohio, USA - 271 entries

Feb 2007
2:41 AM EST

I didnt do anything but talk to another guy.. just talk. Was it 2 minutes, maybe three.. but it was just talk.

Did I like the embrace? Sure why not.. its been so long since I've had a real good hug.

Did it mean anything to me? I cant say it did.

All I did was mention 1 guy that scared me that I could become attractive to, and it remains my down fall and the initical down fall to mine and his relationship.

I set him free last night, he set me free. No more knowing that he'll call me and we will still cling on the phone with each other. We hung up this time.

What is the griving period in letting ones heart heal? I dont know, I guess I'll find out in due time.

He just wants to be himself now.. I had no idea I was trying to change him, I was always fussing at him, and I was always talking about other guys to him.

I use to think him and I were so compatiable so perfect together.

After these last few talks I can see he's not.

What was he to me...? My best friend.

Who does he think about now? Her.. and what could be or will be between them? Their so much alike, and him and I arent.

All I did was love this man unconditional. Over looking his faults, lies, and secrets.

I had hoped for so much more with him. But sometimes when you love someone as much as you do... you have to set him free... Like he sang the other night to me on the phone... IM FREE ... yeah baby you are!

I just wonder if and when you do go to prision, which one of us will you be thinking about?

I guess I'll never know.

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x3VanDyke 34, Female, Pennsylvania, USA - 24 entries

Feb 2007
3:03 PM EDT

Hey Y'all I wasn't able to get on here yesterday soo whateverrr&&anyway My weekend sucked DIDNT DO ANYTHING! Grr i had my cell today and oh yeah Chris isn't being an asshole to me anymore=) but whateverr.. Im soo boredd! anyway gotta go ttyl byez

Love Dal

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ladybugmama06 40, Female, Arizona, USA - 4 entries

Feb 2007
11:24 AM EDT

It been 10 years that my cousin giving me a really hard times and getting me depressed. She always think that she is the boss of me but she is not. She think im stupid cause i am hard hearing (deaf) but im not stupid, im smart for not doing something stupid like she did. She is pregnany and I don't think she is doing the right thing cause she is still dying her hair which is bad for the baby and her behavior isn't so good either. She is always jealous of me for some reason and she doesn't need to be so damn jealous of me. I got my own life and she got her damn life. She got husband who is also in the iraq right now and she carried their first baby. I got a beautiful son and im also single mother which is i am really happy about. I hate seeing myself getting hurt by her. I hate being hurt and depressed. It is time for her to stay out of my business and my life for now on! I wish I have something to talk about my life and stuff but i got my mom!

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TAC122 38, Female, Washington, USA - First entry!

Feb 2007
10:49 PM EDT

today my mom told me that she might have cancer in her overies. This scares the shit out of me. i dont know what i will do if she has it and if she dies. i hope that when they do sugery its just a growth. I already had a shaky faith and wasnt sure if there even is a god. But this, if she has cancer then i think that god doesnt excist. my mom is so unselfish. she would do anything for me and my family. she deserves the best. i love her so much. she has so much faith in everything she has this journal and today i read some of the things and she writes to god and the last thing she wrote was that she is praying for me and my sisters future husbands and that i got thanksgiving off from work and she is so amazing just the little things like that i just cant believe that she would pray for. if i lost my mom i dont know what i would do. who would i talk to about everything that happend at school? or my problems w/ my boyfriend. or watch scary movies w/. my mom is so beautiful to me i love her.

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1 comment(s) - 08:11 PM - 03/01/2007

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