姑婆的教诲：工作，家庭，孩子，然后才是博士学位
二十二年前我在读研究生，那时的研究生是‘天之骄子’ ，每当穿着红色的羽绒服的我，骑着自行车在校园教学楼间冲来撞去，就犹如一面红旗在马路上飘来飘去。
读研的第二年，我有机会去美国研修，但终因本人是在读生，而未能成行。没想到，我与我从未谋面的姑婆联系上了。看来是真是缘分，在我从伦敦去纽约看她老人家之前，我跟这位古稀老人通信十年。
当年的我，是二十七岁的大学讲师，留学英国，攻读博士学位。学业，事业春风得意，自信心暴膨。一幅‘天生我才有大用’的感觉。姑婆是赴美的第二代中国留学生，1949年的姑婆和我1992年赴英时同龄，在国破山河在的当年，她攻读社会福利的硕士学位，目的是计划回国建立一所社会福利专科学校，倘若她当年回国效力，中国的社会福利体系，至少会比现在先进三十年。
我仅仅见了姑婆两面，第一面是1996年的二月在纽约姑婆的家里，第二面是我专程从香港飞纽约在她的葬礼上致悼词。在她生前，我有机会与她相处了 七天。我和姑婆每天早上花三个小时谈话，加起来也不过二十个钟头。但可以说，除了父母，姑婆对我的人生影响最大。
看着我一付年轻气盛，要光宗耀祖的模样，姑婆平静地告诉我：‘孩子，对你来说，有工作，有家庭，有自己的孩子，比有博士学位更加重要，这是我一生的经验’。
姑婆的话虽平淡，但我确认了真，在以后的生活里，我的博士学位放在了我的孩子和家庭的后边，这是我人生中一个聪明的选择。丈夫和儿子比博士头衔抢先占据了我的生活，我的博士毕业照是全家福，每当我听着儿子向我大声地朗读他的大作，每当我远远地看着老公送儿子上学路上温馨的场面，我都十分感激姑婆，是她在我人生的道路上给了我十分关键的指引。
Communication has to work both ways, and people may have their own motives for what they say, as well as voicing their opinion..like protecting their own. Some people will fight to the end to make their point, even if they are wrong..that's where a third party's input such as a councelor, guidance teacher, or priest might help in resolving the issues, and/or change perspectives. If the issues are of a legal nature we may need a Judge to deem justice.
This is so great.. not.. well I went tubing Sunday at Seven Springs and thanks to that got a sprained neck such fun huh?? And on top of that got strep! Lovely. Well other than that Tyler and me are going good, somewhat. Well peace.
No success, hey I just relized I have pics tomarrow for dance..Miss Faith is so gonna kill me...I don't remember my poses!! Well.. I don't get it some days I never forget. Well Somedays I start off draging my feet, somedays I wanna fly, somedays it all makes scence to me, somedays I just don't wanna know why! Well it's one of those I just don't wanna know why days. Well to my veiwers gonna make my account cooler. See ya later in a life of a fourth grader. Bye!!
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