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September 3, 2008

As some of you know I have had an issue with my upper lip being numb.� After lots of testing my neurologist was not able to come up with anything that would be causing the problem, but did find�I was in great health.� The situation still purists so I decided to address the issue again.� This time I decided to see an acupuncturist.� I will start off by saying it does not hurt when they insert the needles.� It’s actually quite a relaxing experience.� So far the treatments have not relieved the numbness but I have found it extremely interesting to find out more about Traditional Chinese Medicine.� They have a very different philosophy from western medicine, in a nut shell they believe in bringing balance, harmony and well-being to individuals.� The symptoms we present – such as my numbness – they believe is due to an imbalance in my body.� Thru acupuncture, diet, exercise and meditation they believe you can strengthen what is deficient and disperse what is in excess in your body.�

okay so i was told that it wasnt healthy to go back and read your journals, well, only if you wrote one when you were mad. but i guess i can put this entry in that category. I have list of frusterations. I orderd my textbooks form my english class and one of them arrived and the other has not. The one that did is the wrong one! I really didnt spend that much on it but still the fact that i spend money on it and for it to be the wrong one! IM PISSED, I really hope that today i go home and my other book has arrived. That is the most important one, i have like a ton of homework in that specific book and i ordered it like 2 weeks ago. This has been buggin me all week. Im an impatient person but this is rediculous already. I NEED THEM. Another thing that is bothering me is that my boyfriend Jorge really doesnt call me throughout the day like he used to. He used to text me whenever he got a chance and now he doesnt even try. It makes me a little skeptical of what he might be up to. But Like I always say, "leave it in gods hands" I pray that he keeps me from heartache and that I no longer have to worry about what he is up to. I really need to concentrate on my self. No more worring about others. Im young and beautiful and i shouldn't have to worry if someone is going to cheat on me! As long as i have my family, they are really all i need. I thank god for them being a part of my life and having such a big role. I really dont know where i would be without them. I dont need a man to make me feel happy, or wanted. All i need is myself and my family and friends. Guys are just acessories! WE dont need them, but we can have them if we WANT them, I just need to concentrate on me and my future and that is final!!! Sometime i loose sight of that and i cant do that anymore! I wont!!!

Today I'm grateful to be able to have the time to do anything I want.

I'm keeping it simple, trying not to pressure myself into filling these new gaps in my time. It's OK. I don't have to be busy every minute, every day.

Next week has the promise of plenty to do so relax!

What I regret ab last yr is the problems that my fiance and I had last year.. and the falling out that we had to go through to get back together..but it was all worth it,, we were only bf and gfs at the time and we got back together and now were ingaged ans we have a 1yr old little boy now too...

What im going to do this year , is to make sure it will never happen again .. Im going to school to get a good job to get a great� to help support my family and my son so we can have a great future!

We've had an extended weekend, Bear was off Fri-Mon. we didn't plan anything so it was just time to relax.

We took a walk every morning. Went to Costco, the Farmer's Market. Watched a couple Netflix movies. Did some gardening. BBQed. It was nice to not have anything we had to do.

Last night we ended on a sour note. I know I should have/could have/might have done something differently. But I don't get the male mind sometimes. I didn't see it coming until it was here. After all these years you'd think I'd know but - nope!�We hit the bump in the road and so now there's an air of upset between us.

Hopefully there's another day, another shot at it.�

I just want to know how you really feel about me if deep inside your secretly love me. If you want me as more than a friend close friend if you secretly desire love to hold me close and finally say i love you.