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    journalgirl22  40, Female, Wisconsin, USA - 3 entries
11
Aug 2007
3:54 PM CST
   

How many times can you give one person your all? We've been playing this game where I give my all and he just takes. How can you say you love someone and you aren't willing to be there for them when they need you the most? And maybe not even be there when they need you the most, but just be there. I moved to his city to be closer to him and all he's shown me was ungratefulness and just an overall feeling of not wanting me here. Now we've broken up a million times and each time I'm not really sure why I come back or ask him to stay with me. Its not like he's great to me, he's pretty much only nice to me when it benefits him. And that's not the right start to a relationship right? And it doesn't help that I'm writing all of this because I'm at my apt all by myself on a Saturday because he doesn't feel like going out and I don't really know very many people in the area that I just moved to because I moved here for him. Anyway... sorry for this rant. I think Vodka and Cranberry will help me tonight. Have a good night!

    charlax  71, Male, Arizona, USA - 744 entries
11
Aug 2007
1:21 AM MST
   

we endure to the end the suffering of one JESUS
Tags: ewe

    banglesaway  40, Female, Indiana, USA - 21 entries
11
Aug 2007
1:47 PM EDT
   

I'm nearly done packing. Took a few hours to do so ... but I'm getting there. In all honesty, I really don't want to go on vacation. And no, it's not�the workaholic side of me talking.
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Ok, maybe it is.
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Casey was able to stay another day (thank God). Spent most the day talking to him yesterday. Kinda sucked that I had much to do, so I was constantly redialing his number after getting done with randomtasks and such.Couldn't be helped though.
�
Blah.
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Too much to do. Too much to say. Not enough time.
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�
More incite later

    journalgirl22  40, Female, Wisconsin, USA - 3 entries
11
Aug 2007
8:06 AM CST
   

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. There is so much in my life that I have to get together that I'm not even sure where to begin. I think I'm just going to jump in. This is going to be a random journal about my life, love, work and whatever I deem necessary to feel like writing. Although, I will keep myself confidential. But I do hope everyone enjoys what they read.

First off, I have a boyfriend who finds any excuse not to see me. We've been together almost 10 months and we've already had our ups and downs. Most of our ups have been inside the bedroom because when you are working with something as big as he's working with, its really hard for you to remember why were fighting in the first place.

He is a decent man, works at his mom's company and plays semi-pro basketball. But he's afraid of commitment and getting close to someone (that someone being me) that its frustrating. Right now, we haven't had sex in 6 days, and its driving me crazy. To some, they say I am lucky to have gotten it recently, but you don't understand my sex drive and how I'm used to getting it before him. I want it everyday, two or three times a day and I'm not allowed to have it that way, why you ask? Because he doesn't want it that way, I'm not even allowed to spend the night at his house. Bull shit, right? I agree!

I've never spent the night at house and finally I got to the point of breaking today and I think he gave in, but now he's faking his own sickness and going to the dr, and I think that he's going to try to get out of me sleeping over tonight. I don't know why he would do that, he doesn't understand that I'm a catch and I don't know how he doesn't. I'm not trying to sound cocky or conceited, but all of his friends think I'm attractive and everyone I know thinks I'm an attractive person and I've never had any issues EVER with finding a guy who wants to be with me. The only issue I'm having right now is wondering how long I'm going to wait around until he realizes that he has something that is great for him right in front of him.

And lets go back to the sex, there's never been a time I have not cum (most times multiple times) while we've done it. It is by far the best sex either of us has ever had, maybe that's why I stick around, because I don't think I will ever find anything like what he is packing anywhere. Well I should get going, I am hungry and oddly horny, so I think I'll have to go and take care of myself.

~Journal Girl 22
1 comment(s) - 08:55 PM - 10/23/2007

    dee23  53, Female, United Kingdom - 170 entries
11
Aug 2007
1:54 PM GMT
   

hi still haven't found anything do with all this spare time i have i have been so board that i have been to see my mother three times so far this week wich is very unlike me i usually go once a week at the most even she has comented on how many times she has seen me in three weeks . well the garden has been done the house has never looked so clean and the dog fears for her life as she gets her paws ran of her every day even she thinks i'v lost the plot and you know what she could be right .any way this week we are taking the kids to a wild life park for a day out so at least thats one day filled and they will be worn out by bed time for a change so thats the plan for this week now onwards and upwards to next week .


    berries7cinnamon  38, Female, Singapore - 20 entries
10
Aug 2007
8:45 PM EDT
   

I went out with Michelle yesterday.

We haven't really talked with each other for a long time with each of us busy with different things; she with her Uni orientation and me with my work.
I always laugh A LOT whenever I'm out with her, today's no exception as well.

She accompanied me for my haircut; to my favourite salon.
My hairstylist - Jeft was really shocked to see me that soon again. He was on the line and processing payment when he saw me. The look on his face is funny. Haha...
Mich and I haven't decided where to go for dinner yet, so I asked Jeft what's good to eat around the vicinity. He listed most of them out for me. After that he made fun of me and I retorted back. This is nothing new, but he's nice. xD
I know this may sound like I have a cruch on Jeft, but I don't think so. It's true that I like him and I like that place, but I just tend to share it with people about what I like with all smiles on my face.

The haircut's good. It's short, and it's not those kind of boyish short. It's short but you still can tell that I'm a GIRL. xD

During dinner, I asked Mich if she's missed me. She looked at me funny and said, "No."
I stared at her with disbelief and I started whining and kept repeating that how could she when I missed her so much. Haha... I kinda irritated her and it's funny.
Going out with her is always full of laughter.

After dinner, we went to Esplande to have a walk with a cup of coffee in our hands.
Haha... That's something I've been wanting to do, and I'm so glad that... it happened. :) Though not in a romantic way, but it's still fun.

I gotta learn Romance isn't the center of my life.
I laughed so much. I feel like a kid again.

    nodeadends  19, Female, New York, USA - 29 entries
10
Aug 2007
8:33 AM EDT
   

Here Iam again, damn sometimes I wish I could be free of myself. I spoke to the pastor this morning around five a.m. when most people are sleep. He was at work and I just couldnt sleep. We talked about what it going onwith me. Knowing what do is half the battle the other half is applying it. Having a remedy for abstaining from sin is very helpful. Avoiding hell and And S.T.D's is vital to me. I now am aware that my eyes getting me into trouble... Iam not going to expound any further on that statement. Still havent found an apartment, fucking with dss isnt an option. Talk about bondage/ control ,and that (dis)organization comes to mind. Cant relinquish this new found freedom, being a puppetin addition to being controlled is a turn off.

I hooked up with Tony last night jade was there as well. Jade isnt a person its just the freaky side of me. Taking it there wasnt prevelant since were in the situation I might as well do it. It wasnt awfulbut wasnt feeling him. Had to get in to a zone. Fantasy is a powerful tool. He penis would have went limp if he could hear the way my brain was churning.

Changing my thought pattern will help overcome many things. Doing so seems difficult. Does it really take thirty days to break a bad habit?
Work is almost over, back to the grind for me. Yesterday zay called the police on some people standing in front of our home. Our neighbor sonja can not fathom why we have a problem with this. zay relayed to me that she stated I talk white.
I guessing speaking properly and wanting to live in a nice atmosphere is behaving white. She is so far gone, she so down she will never get out the gutter and that ghetto mentality. Truly sad. How dare she talk shit cause I want better for mine. sonja seems resigned to the idea of being slack,neglectful towards her kids as well as apathetic to her chronic roach/cdrug,pedophileinfested space she considers home. So sad.

    tikie10  31, Male, Florida, USA - 4 entries
10
Aug 2007
7:25 PM EDT
   

If i was old and my dream would of came true, the thing id be most happy about having done would be making my dream come true. Im sorry but i cant tell you my dream.


    mochaluvr88  36, Female, North Carolina, USA - 3 entries
10
Aug 2007
6:32 PM EDT
   

i do not wish to tell any secrets on the public entry

    mochaluvr88  36, Female, North Carolina, USA - 3 entries
10
Aug 2007
6:31 PM EDT
   




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