I just have to stay strong, but I may be going insane again. It is so hard. I don't even know what is happening. I fee like I am hanging over a a hill. I keep aksing mysefl wheather or not I did something wrong. I tried so hard and I got the worst. Nothing has a value to me that is greater. I am so hopeless and worthless. I can't stop thinking about it. I keep comming back to that feeling and it won't go away. I can't move on. I don't know if I can live this way.
����������� Think I can sleep? Nah. I keep getting online every five min. Every time I close my eyes I can feel things happening. Once I don’t want to happen. It hurts. But nothing I can do. I already feel rejected. Like a lost and forgotten golf ball. It’s like “hello” but they ignore me.
������������ My bed, it feels like its missing another pillow or a blanket. But I got enough already. Too much. It’s so hot in my room. I want to go outside or leave somewhere. But I need to get up early. For days I have been covering myself with pillows and blankets. Though out the day I lie with my body pillow and twist from side to side as if my body is in pain. Feel so uncomfortable every where I go.
������������ I want to accept things the way they are. But I know I have already tried hard. And I can’t keep like this forever. I wonder what will happen to me. I am the last sip of coffee.
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