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    kiya  33, Female, Canada - 21 entries
11
Nov 2009
6:28 PM EDT
   

the past

my past wasn't the past i wish i had.

I am not proud at all, onot of all the disgusting stuff I did.

I was stupid, wasn't thinking....

and just like normal people, when you don't think about what you're going to do, you'll end up doing something extremely stupid.

now, my past is chasing me, as if I can't pretend that that stupid girl wasn't me.

why can't i do that?

I've changed.

i'm rational and more mature.

I don't believe that my past should affect my present and my future, but still....it does. :(

as i think about it, i feel like i'm falling apart, into pieces so small that noone can put together.

i feel weak, because what is said is true, what people heard is true, even if iwsh it wasn't.

nomatter how hard�i wish it to be just their imagination, i know, that in the end, the truth is what it is, and i can't escape from it.

i am trapped in my past, a time that wished i would get rid of.

A life that i wish i never had.

and it is killing me slowly as I go through those horrifying memories.

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