�Problems are usually temporary, and death is permanent. There is always a brighter side to things, even when everything seems wrong. You gotta just look really hard for something that keeps you going, and stick with it.
i'm just excited to have my hair cut tomorrow... i'm worried about certain people in my life now...but i still believe that they can get through it and come out as winner..:) everytime i write here... it feels like my reflection time...LOL anyways.... got to go read again... got an exam tomorrow at night..ish..hehehe life sure is complicated... but what can we do... we just have to deal with it and make it work/..... :)always! kiya
When you were a kid, everything used to seem so simple, easy, even exciting to go through.
As you grow older and get educated you begin to realize how hard life will be for you, and it is almost scary, like you don't have enough time, enough strength, or even enough brain to go through what life requires you to go through...hehe
I wish i could see the world how i used to see it, so i could see life in a better, positive way, like everything will be fine, and that it is easy, that your purpose is to make your life better.
But if you think that way, than you'll never satisfy yourself. You will keep looking, searching for ways to make your life better, even when you reached what you thought it was your dream as a child.
Life today is so much more complicated. I� wish it was simpler.
I feel like in the future no matter how successful you are, it doesn't stop you from working. In the end you'll be so tired that you'll look back and wonder how much real happiness have you gone through compared to how much you tried to make money.
I REMEMBER THINGS
i remember� the words...
i remember how it felt, how it hurt...
i remember the pain afterwards.....
i remember crying...
i remember hating myself...
i remember regreting...
i remember seeking for help, but couldn't say a thing...
ir remember almost everything....
but i want to forget EVERYTHING.
i want it to be nothing...
haysh!!!!!
he just has the worst timings!!! ever!
i mean why now that i have my final exams!
plus, i don't need to know that he's voluntarily�going back to the philippines ryt WHEN my brother and i aren't there..
i don't want to know anything about him anymore...
really! what is he going to there?? what's his reason that he has to go there?? huh?? now that my brother and i aren't there. what's more important than his kids???? he never went there when we were there, why is he going now????? what? to gt drunk and wasted with his friends??? maybe! that's all he does anyways.
i'm tired of him and his reasons.
he never even said sorry without being under the influence of alcohol...
life...
it's ok, i have my new dad here, and his 100 times better than that father of mine.... I KNOW, i shouldn't compare, but still..... NOW I KNOW.... IT WAS JUST BECAUSE IT WAS HIS BIRTHDAY. GOOD FOR HIM.
i don't know why, but i feel like...
i hate this!!!
i studied, i review, i don't even watch tv as much...
it sucks.... im doing what i can to be better, but all i get is me still struggling with this economics, and this math, but most of all is that econ! ish!
i was so sure with my answers.... i feel STUPID, like im the only one who doesn't get it. i know i'm not the only one, but still im one of those slow people who can't get it right!
i hate this!
i hate this!!!!!! :(
it's too sad.
Normally I wouldn't consider myself as a weak person, but...tonight I realized how much more work I had ahead of me... and I feel so overwhelmed by all of this. I know that I shouldn't complain and just be happy to be one of the lucky people who would wish to be in my place, but sometimes it just tires me. I feel like I haven't really done a lot, but I feel so tired, as if I've done everything I could possibly do. I'm talking nonsense right now.... I just want to talk or in this case write whatever I want to write, even if it doesn't make sense, and why am I explaining myself to a computer now???
hayayay...whatever.... I wish everything would be over and done. not really, it might be too fast... haysh!!! i don't know, i think to much, but it is not what i want or need to think about.
i should be thinking of math and econ, not what is going to happen to my life, or how do i really feel about my current life, or whatever else that i don't really need to be thinking about.....hay!
oy oy....God gave me this brain, but you know what� God? i can't control my own brain! it doesn't follow what I want it to think about. anyways.......... i will try, once more, to let my brain concentrate on this econ book. bye bye!
Life is pressure...
we can't do anything about it.
friends...peer pressure.
school...pressure for your future.
parents...pressure to stay what they want you to be.
instructors...an addition tto your list of pressures.
and above all....
myself...i pressure myself and think of everyone else...and it just sums up to...
giving up......
but
i still can't...because pressure is what keeps me going, but it also stresses me out...
what am ito do?
what is better?
let pressure stay and risk getting crazy...
or let pressure be the centre of my non-ending life?
i am tired. i, also,�need to rest.
my past wasn't the past i wish i had.
I am not proud at all, onot of all the disgusting stuff I did.
I was stupid, wasn't thinking....
and just like normal people, when you don't think about what you're going to do, you'll end up doing something extremely stupid.
now, my past is chasing me, as if I can't pretend that that stupid girl wasn't me.
why can't i do that?
I've changed.
i'm rational and more mature.
I don't believe that my past should affect my present and my future, but still....it does. :(
as i think about it, i feel like i'm falling apart, into pieces so small that noone can put together.
i feel weak, because what is said is true, what people heard is true, even if iwsh it wasn't.
nomatter how hard�i wish it to be just their imagination, i know, that in the end, the truth is what it is, and i can't escape from it.
i am trapped in my past, a time that wished i would get rid of.
A life that i wish i never had.
and it is killing me slowly as I go through those horrifying memories.
Everything i try, fails..
everything i do, seems useless...
what can i do to make my life work....?
Add comment
