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    yoanstranger  48, Male, Philippines - 2 entries
13
Feb 2008
10:13 AM EST
   

rendezvous

I felt the surge of static all over my body. The feeling stayed for a while, numbing my senses. Then I felt very light. Suddenly all colors became a myriad of emotions. Everything abound me seemed to become as beautiful as rainbow. I felt myself drifting away. Away from what? I wanted to ask. But I was more overwhelmed by the beauty.

I saw my body lying on the familiar bed, facing opposite my wife. The face was never a face of contentment. Poor me. Always dreaming for joy I could never find but could never find it. Always hoping for the blissful peace of mind that seemed so elusive in this world.

But what is this? Is this still the world I know? I felt drifting away from it every minute. The sensation was different. The feeling was so strange, yet so pleasing. It was the most delightful feeling I ever had since I started knowing life. It was beyond life. It was beyond reality.

Reality drifted away from me. I found myself in a state of nothing, completely aware of peace, peace I've never had. It was a peace that made me smile. It was a peace I have always longed for.

Then the feeling of loneliness started building up inside me, like a thorn in my heart that I wanted to ease but I could not. I looked around and searched for other beings like me, but I could not find anyone. I was alone in that void. There was none to be with. What is the purpose of existing in any state if I would be alone? What is the use of beauty if you could not share it?

I discovered a new truth. After finding the peace of mind almost everyone is searching for, you would eventually turn to find someone to share it with.

In real life, that peace is impossible.

Even if it could be possible, sharing it would be a disaster.

Peace is destroyed the moment you share peace with another.

Pity.

I did not notice the tear drop falling from my eye.

You're not alone...

I heared the voice from my mind more than from my ear. It was the most beautiful female voice I have ever heard. I turned around and saw her. No, I did not saw her. My five senses seemed to be gone. I am now sensing with my heart. I am seeing, hearing, feeling, smelling, and tasting with my heart. Or is it really my heart?

Who are you? I asked her. I could not make up better words though I wanted to. The words came off like instinct, coming from within instead of from the lips.

I am she, she told me.

The feeling of joy on meeting her was already inexplicable. It felt as if our souls are bridged immediately by the nothingness surrounding us. It was as if I was a cotyledon of a seed and she was the other half. She seemed to be my perfect match, seeing through emotions, feeling through the heart.

Thank you for being here, I said. I felt her happiness. I felt her smile. I could feel through her. I could see what she saw. And I could feel her sense of fulfilment on meeting me.

It is I who must thank you, she replied.

Her heart met mine, as if we're drawn to a tight embrace but the sensation was more than that. I felt her heart expressing happiness, contentment, peace, and love. Somehow I feel the same way, and I knew she felt through me.

My soul skipped with joy. It felt like heaven.

I have been looking for you, she told me.

I know, I answered. Me too...

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