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Thursdays are always such refreshing days for me...

i sleep in until the whee hours of the evening.... but this thursday he and i both have off.. i havent spent a whole day with him since i had surgery... and at that point i was just boning him.. .because.

Well..J called me today... asking me if i rememberd a scratch on the rear of his precious08 mbenz... i told him no. I think that was part of his problem.. he wanted to keep things perfect.. life isnt perfect.. im not perfect.. and he cant protect me from dings all my life! He never did understand that i could take care of myself... sure its nice that he occasionally paid this or that.. which mean that i had more money to spend on inportant stuff like me! lol.. but he incapacitated me... when he paid all my bills for that one month... i didnt even know what to do with myself. I cant have a man that enables me to be wreckless..... if you want to do something special. take me on a shopping spree... dont pay all my bills and send me raving mad with 5gs in the bank that month (i made bonus.. too at work) and set me free.

Ive concluded that i miss different men in my life for different reasons... as follows

i miss the man that planned getaways.. for he and i

i miss the man that sent me flowers to my job...

i miss the man that bought me flowers every month just to remind me of a fresh start..

i miss the man who would.. think of me in randomness.. and purchase a really great book that he knew id love..

i missed the man.. now that theres ice out.. who cleared my windshield of ice.. because he knows i hate doing it.

i miss the man who.. doded on me with his gentle touch and expressions of his love..

i miss the man who.. loved me.. with all my inperfections.

i guess looking at this list.. i miss the menwho were creative in thier ways of expressing the ways in which they cared about me.. and for me.

i love creative men.. every action they do.. says it was with you in mind that i did this.. not just some random.. thing that all men do.

sos.. surprised me the other day in his semi randomnesss... got me a little doggie that looked like taurus.. wasnt much.. but it meant that he was inspired by this object.. and thought of me. that means alot.. especially with his recent attempts to communicate a sense of emotion.. with his gazes and tender kisses in the morning.. wonder if he will progress into being as random as i? i thought that hed get the hint... when i started in my randomcreativeness... but he didnt.. you can lead a horse to water but you.. (lol.. cant make em.. drink!) guess the adage is true... i guess hes just enjoying being thought of.. but damnit.. he needs to remember.. that its a two way street.

cap keeps annoying me.. i think ill be nice and tell him a final lie to put him out of his misery.... id rather lie than tell him that his obsession with me is totally unfounded.. and since we have never even kissed id think that he would get that through his head.. i guess its my fault though since im the one who egged him on to send me cumshots.. since he always said he thinks of me when he masturbates.. who cares.. but man do i laugh my ass off when i see his tiny dick.. (he holds it between his thumb and forefinger.. its so small.)

well... thats it for now.. brain hurts.