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    kapowkristen  28, Female, Kansas, USA - 11 entries
Dec 2008
3:57 PM EDT

I can't remember what sleep feels like.

I feel like i have so much time on my hands, and i dont know what to do with it.

I read alot. But after i finish the book i wish i had tooken more time reading it.

I play the piano. But i can only play the piano during the day. Grand Pianos have a loud sound. =]

I write sometimes. But i can't get feedback on it because i don't want to put my writing up anywhere. Last time i did that i got all of it stolen.

I play games, like online and stuff. But they all seem to be so easy, and worthless.

I look things up. Learn about things i don't know about. But sometimes i feel like that's pretty worthless as well.

I draw, paint, etc. But i usually throw it away or put it in my basement. Rejection scares me. Alot.

I spend my days getting through them. Waiting for somthing to happen. Waiting to figure the reason i'm here. What duty do i serve?

Talking to other people about these things is a waste of time. When you speak as if you came out of a poetry book, people don't really get the grip on what you're saying.

I want to run away. Not really run away from my parents/friend/family. Just run away from me. What i've become. I want to go someplace where i can just lay and look at the stars without a plane hovering overhead, or so much lights on the streets you can barly tell its twilight. I know running away is not an opition. But it sounds nice.

-if you've read this whole thing, i applaud you.

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