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    hopelessromantic  31, Female, Philippines - 3,671 views
27
Dec 2012
5:25 AM PST
   

pamagat

��Masaya ako. Masaya ako na dumating ka sa buhay ko. Hindi inaasahan pero alam mo yung pakiramdam na sa wakas ngayon ko masasabi na tunay akong masaya. Yung hindi pakitang tao. Yung hindi lang para di na ako magpaliwanag pa. Yung totoong masaya. Hindi ko man maibigay ang lahat ng naisin mo, pero gagawin ko ang lahat para maibigay ang lahat ng mga pangangailangan mo. Maliban lang sa isa. Pasensya ka na. Hindi ko kasi talaga kaya yun eh. Tsaka hindi puwede. Magiging malaking gulo lang yun at hindi mo deserve ang ganung buhay. Pinapangako ko saiyo, magiging masaya tayong dalwa. Kahit na tayo lang. Hindi kita iiwan. Kahit na anong mangyare. Mamahalin kita ng lubos. Sana pag dating ng araw, hindi mo ako kasuklaman sa mga pagkukulang ko. Sa mga hindi ko nagawa. Wala akong hinangad sa buhay kung hindi ang kabutihan mo. Anak, ikaw ang pinaga magandang nangyre sa buhay ko. Wala na akong hihilingin pa. Hindi ko na kailangan ng kahit na sino pang lalake. Ikaw lang. Alam ko na kung bakit, ang mga nanay, masyadong mahigpit, mapag alaga at mapag mahal dahil alam mo anak, nung naghihinala palang ako na ako'y nag dadalang tao, hindi ako mapakali. Napapapraaning ako,at ang hirap. Naisip ko kasi, baka may nakain na ako na hindi mo gusto. Or baka na apektuhan ka na ng sobrang stress na pinag daraanan ni mama. Tapos , ang hirap sisipin na baka magkskit ka pag naisilang kita. Napakhirap talaga. Pero hindi �ko iyon sinusimbat, gusto ko lang mainitindan mo kung bakit ang mga nanay eh ganito. Pasensy ka na kung wala si papa. Hindi natin siya puwede makasama. Hindi mo pa din siya puwede makilala sa ngayon. Hindi ko kasi alam kung matatanggap ka niya eh. Kung kaya ka niyang pinindigan. Nagkasala kasi si mama nak, at hindi ko puwede ipaglaban si papa dahil pag mamay-ari siya ng iba. Pag laki mo maiintindihan mo din ako. At pag laki mo, yung tipong kaya mo na ipag tanggol ang sarili mo, ipapakilala kita sa papa mo. Sa ngayon, ayoko na masaktan ka. Hindi ko matatanggap yun. Hindi ko kasi talaga alam kung tanggap ka niya.�

Mahal na mahal kita. Wala na akong mahihiling pa sa buhay. :D�

Mama

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    jstar88  31, Male, California, USA - 3,670 views
22
Jan 2007
2:50 PM EDT
   

well this entry is gonna be about my lady our also known as wifey....let me explain something to you this girl her name is jessica n she is my girlfriend n wife we are planing on gettin married n evrythin. now this girl she is somethin else let me tell you she is the best thing that has happened to me n she treats me good n never has done me wrong she all n more than i could ever ask for. i love this girl to death i would do anythin for her n i can wait till after highschool so we can spend more time with echother....yeah cuz rite now we only see eachohter on the weekend n yeah i just wish that we could see eachohter evryday but yeah we got parent s that tell us no n shit but its cool. yeah she is the love of my life man she evrythin to me she has done so much for me n i treat her good i dont disrespect her at all im koo with her but yeah i do have a temper n thats not good cu she told me that when i get angry she doesnt like it cuz i sometimes say stupid things to her but dont worry im working on that n im getting better well ill tell you more later.....bye
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    melsteam  44, Male, Texas, USA - 3,665 views
24
Jun 2008
9:54 AM CDT
   

Could I just slow-down- this rollar-coaster is going fast with us all. I've done everything I can. Now rest and relax. It will soon be better as I gain perspective. Don
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    640191  31, Female, California, USA - 3,643 views
12
Jan 2007
3:12 PM EDT
   

I'm hoping that I have enough entry's I wouldn't want this to bring my grade down. I tryed downloading it but it's kind of wried. This is a good exercise that is being used. It's kind of like your own journal and you could write about anything. And either people could read it or not. I have never used something like this. It's a good idea. I really havn't wrote like this for a while. I had a book it was a poem book and it had a darkest feelings in it. It had all kinds of different poems that meet to me. As time got longer I remember just trowing it away. I would only let some people see it.
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    darkraven  45, Female, United Kingdom - 3,639 views
18
Jul 2008
6:17 AM GMT
   

Tired

So, I have been up all night.� Again.� I really should be going to bed more.� I live with the most wonderful man, that I love more than I know how to say.� Yet, most nights he goes to bed alone, and I stay up.

I could go to bed now, but I know I'll just disturb his sleep.� So I postpone. I'll wait until it's nearly time for his alarm, then I'll go and cuddle him - and then I'll finally fall asleep.

In a way, it's better this way.� I know he sleeps better when I'm not tossing and turning and fidgeting next to him.� And I sleep when I would otherwise be on my own here.� And then we get the evening together.� So, it's not all bad.� It's probably for the best.

Except, that isn't the reason I don't go to bed with him.� I stay up because I'm terrified of going to bed, and trying to sleep in the dark, and having nightmare after nightmare, and lying awake in the dark full of anxiety I can't dispell.

So tired.� So very damn tired.

If only being tired was enough to enable me to sleep.

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Current Tags: awake, crying, insomnia, nightmares, sleep, tired

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    distracted  46, Female, California, USA - 3,626 views
24
Feb 2010
9:18 AM PDT
   

every time i think of you i find myself at odds.. not with you or those we know.. but for certain with the gods.. the ones that watch over you .. and tell me not to speak..when i look at you they dont like what i think.. how is it so easy for me to understand..everything that happens.. yet i still manage to be sad.. at the moments when you find that my attention is still needed.. how i know these problems are about to be repeated..everybody wonders..and everybody knows.. but when it comes to us .. its nothing like what shows.. in the wee hours of the morning ..ar the late hours of the night.. i can still sit waiting .. knowing everything's alright..but when you come barreling in.. with that look upon your face..its a guilty look for sure.. and its a very common place.. whether its new or old .. whether weak or strong.. its something you havent lost..all these years weve carried on..so sleep well my burning angel.. let the dreams dry your eyes.. for im not even concerned with your need to be disguised.. you can have all the secrets.. you can keep then to your self.. but just remember this..its no better then this hell.. if it were you would not be here.. pretending nothings wrong..in the middle of a promise.. that keeps you holding on..
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    amiejotrotter  45, Female, Louisiana, USA - 3,618 views
04
May 2009
5:10 PM CST
   

Get my finances in order so that I can go to school and work at the same time.
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    leahstephens01  26, Female, United Kingdom - 3,607 views
22
Sep 2007
8:04 PM BST
   

So guess wat richard has aske ella out not nicky ut ela is nickys best mate .. i need to no tht richard isnt my type but i just cant bring myself to it.
why is it always the same story mwith me..
i love him but he likes her and she dosent like him or..
i go out my way to make myself look special and yet he still dosent notice me !
welll ill write to you soon
luff leah
atleast ive cheered up abt since my last entry
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    bhoyle89  30, Female, Louisiana, USA - 3,581 views
15
Jul 2007
4:31 AM CST
   

Yesterday was my 18th dirthday. I got to meet my biological father for the first time in 14 years and it was amazing. He is a really cool guy. All of my closest family members were there. My mom, my stepdad, my bilogical father, my stepmom, grandmother, great uncle, my sister, fiance, and a few of my friends. I got a lot of good stuff for my birthday. I got some money and a stereo. I also got a new TV and a gift card to my favorite restraunt. After everyone left my fiance took my grandmother and I out to eat akt Texas Roadhouse for dinner. Later in the evening my fiance and I watched aome movies and ate some popcorn and just talked for a while about how the day went and about our future. Well thats about all for now I will probably type something else about my birthday or how today went. l8r

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Current Tags: MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!

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    Jewels  26, Female, Louisiana, USA - 3,577 views
29
Jun 2007
6:47 PM ADT
   

yeah I havent wrote in along time. Ive had so much to do.
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    JackAss104  26, Female, New York, USA - 3,545 views
05
Apr 2007
8:27 AM EDT
   

My vacaton was horrible... even thouh I shold not be saying this I will anyway this vacation I was ROBBED WHEN I WAS IN ATLANTIC CITY!!! They took a lot of stuff they took my really nice flat screen TV they took my dad's labtop and portable DVD player and a lot of other stuff.. This is not good because now I am ganna be afraid to walk around my naborhood and even my own house and i really should ot be afraid to walk around my naborhood and my own house. I am so afraid Now...
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    couturevixen  33, Female, Wisconsin, USA - 3,538 views
29
Aug 2007
7:43 PM EDT
   

Well I'm enrolled in school & my 1st day was scary, exciting, and my start to a positive 2008. My class ended early 6:30 & my mother didn't come pick me up until 8:47pm. I was pissed and then if shit couldn't get any better we got a flat tire down the street from the school. My ass hole poor excuse for a man dad was trying to tell my mother to deal with it on her own instead of being a man & coming right away to get us. These are the reason the hate in my blood for him runs so thick. Gratefully the tow truck came in less then a half hour. I'm home now feeling good still that I'm in school. Can't wait until tomorrow. Class is from 6:30 to 9:25pm. I seen one cute black dude well dressed to but I'm not interested I'm focused. One black dude tried to get at me. He cool much older then me but he is not my type at all. Not many black people out in mequon but I see some girls who may be cool to get to know. This should go well. Looking forward to the growing experience that this will bring.

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    justin  27, Male, California, USA - 3,519 views
19
Jan 2007
2:31 AM PST
   

My favorite game on online is runescape and my user name is Slominski9. I am on level 5 because my other file got hacked into the users name that got stolen is Justins97. One of my friends on it is Fox3999 and another friend is Yogi143.
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    NijahThomas14  26, Female, Ohio, USA - 3,499 views
28
Aug 2009
2:47 AM EST
   

waiting

waiting

i never had patience

and i dont like waiting

being in a line

or waiting for assistance

for whatever the reason may be

i always wait for something

but no one waits on me

i wait to die

i wait to cry

i wait to fall asleep

im waiting on my dad

to pull his head out of his ass

but he refused to wait on me

Tags: waiting
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    TruGrayce  55, Female, Washington, USA - 3,489 views
12
Sep 2007
4:28 AM PST
   

It's been awhile since I've last written. So much has happened..where should I start? Well, I'm working again. In May Iaccepted an offer to join a great compnay as a Business Development Manager and all is going well there.

Omar (the younger man I met in January) and I are just friends now or that's the direction I aiming for. He's a nice guy but he has way too many issues thatONLYHE can resolve. But I wish him the best and pray that he finds what he needs to be happy.

The kids are back at school and I'm considering going back to school myself. It just hit me that I should look into my options. So I'm gathering infomation and who knows what will come next. I had a blast at my family reunion in Omaha. My birthday was awesome last month and the girls brought me breakfast in bed (it was sweet).

Things are really FAB and I'm looking forward to the holidays...I love Thanksgiving and Christmas.
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    seastar  39, Female, Oregon, USA - 3,480 views
06
Feb 2018
11:53 PM
   

It’s amazing
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    Quillan  48, Female, Australia - 3,477 views
17
Dec 2010
4:55 AM
   

Checking in to see if this is still okay
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    HiddenScars  30, Female, Louisiana, USA - 3,471 views
25
Oct 2007
4:18 AM CDT
   

Well there really is not much to say there is alot going on in my life and I dont really know what to do about all of it...I am back to cutting and that sucks... I have had a few slip ups in the last few weeks which is not good.. But its okay..Me and kris are doing okay.. and all of viv's puppies are growing up to be beautiful! I love my vivvy... and now we have star trigger anna bell bear and trey... all of which I will have to sell soon... but I think that scott is going to get to keep trey... He is really excited especially with me and kris moving out soon!!! I HOPE,,,, Mom kicked us out agian but as normal she was all Im sorry by the end of the day... I love my kris kris but we are fighting alot lately.. I dont really know what to do about all that.. I have tried talking to he that doesnt really help any..just makes her mad that seems to be what I am good at... I really dont know what to do anymore... But it is okay we will work through it like we work through everything,, I know we will.... I am starting to talk even if it will make her mad.... i am at the point that if I have something that I want to say I am going to say it... I really am getting better... i dont really know what to rant anything else about so I guess Im gonna go ahead and get off of here...atleast everyone knows i am kinda sorta alive... LOVE YALL....

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Current Tags: cutting, hate, life, love

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    mileylover5  23, Female, California, USA - 3,440 views
04
Jun 2007
11:16 PM PST
   

hi
3 comment(s) - 04:56 PM - 02/18/2008
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Current Tags: Jack Ass Mileey!!!

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    Calmin  40, Male, South Carolina, USA - 3,436 views
07
Feb 2009
10:12 PM EDT
   

Daylight

I've begun classes! Well, technically I started in January. I'm taking Microbiology and Psychology. Micro is very interesting, at least the new stuff is. They still are going through some biochem that I learned in high school. But soon, they will start on material that is new to me. We've been growing specimens in the lab and it looks like soon we'll be able to view them under the microscope. That's very cool. I just hope I do well on all the tests.

Psychology is... well, psych is not so interesting. I'll make it through. The professor is not too bad. :)

The hiking trip has been pushed back to 2010, which is upsetting, but necessary for financial reasons. Hopefully we'll be able to save all we need to go and be headed out that March or June.

I've been facebooking a little on my new internet connection. I tried for a while with AT&T DSL but it proved to be too sketchy a connection. I now have gone back to my nemesis Charter Communications. Hopefully our relationship will be better this time around.

Work is going well. That's about all I can say about it. It's a little hard going both to work and dedicating time that used to be free to school, but I'm coping.

Adam hopes to be coming up for a visit either in March or April. As always, I look forward to him being here. We connect on levels that are unique from most of my other friends. Too bad I'm not gay. We might make a good... nah, we'd make a terrible couple :). LOL!

Or it could mean I'm just a tad unusual. :)

On the girl front. I'm still not really looking but being passively interested. To tell the truth, if I trust my instincts, I'd say there have been several people I could have asked out already. Assuming that is I still remember how to ask someone out. LOL! But I haven't. I guess I should be asking myself "why?", but I think my answer would just involve a lot of psycho babble. I'm good at giving myself psychobabble as you know.

I've been reasonably content lately. Especially the month or so Elias was on the wagon. Things may be headed for fouler weather in that department, but I'm hopeful that we'll see the sun again.

David's getting married. I'm a little hesitant about the girl, but that may be only because I don't really know her that well. One thing is for sure, if David is happy, I'm happy for him. He deserves a special someone. I just hope he's up to the challenge. I wouldn't want to see him hurt the way I was. He came to me asking what he should do when he got into his old "shiftless" mood. I tried to be supportive and suggest that if he felt things were moving too fast to talk with Megan and perhaps slow things down a bit. To my great surprise he did talk to Megan and apparantly felt much better afterwards without the need to upset the plans they'd already made. That's Great! Just the fact that he felt comfortable enouogh to talk to her tells me a lot about their relationship. I think this may actually be the one for him. :)

Okay, that's it for now. I should be in bed already.

TTFN, �

Jacob

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