11:17 AM PDT
I really wish someone could just know the feeling i'm having nd tell me what to do. My heart feels like it is actually �breaking, but i could never tell him that. There's so much i want to get off my chest and tell him, but i dont. I feel like if i do say something, i'll look weak. Like i have nothing better to do than to sit around and dwell on everything. Like i am ulitmately on giant burden in his life. I also don't want to start a fight, i mean it's bad enough i feel this way, he should either. part of me even feels like even if i do tell him, that he won't change anything. I sit up at nnight trying to fall asleep wondering if he's thinking about me while he's out til 6 in the morning drinking, which he has found to be his favorite hobby apparently.
I don't even want to say the words 'Break Up' out loud... �but boy have i thought them. I really am hoping he's just doing this for the first week and will soon settle down... that's what i'm praying for atleast... But how can you put a person through so much pain and not even seem to notice.... how can you go hours without �calling or texting and just assume that i get it or i don't mind. How can a boy who means so much to you treat you likr you mean so little... how to you fix a hurting heart?
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I am very socialble and love people. I love to give and seek advice. I love life although it tends to get messy and complicated at times, I love to make new friends and express myself
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