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Dear Journal;;

Im here feeling all alone lke usual...

Im bored im tired im going thru some shit i shouldnt even be going thru... my mom && i are in bog situations. i like this guy named jesse but i really like this guy named luis. He l ikes me && i like him alot... but the thing is hed oesnt know && idk either so either way it doesnt work but anyways. i think im ready for sex but not too sure hes had sex i didnt� so yeah .... ill see what happens

Ok the first entry wasent really a entry it was a bio

Today school was pretty ok yeah

13 days till dean gets out�

Omg my brother is being totally stupid�

�at school there is this girl named tahila and me and my Bffs Chloe G and CHloe W

Yeah well anyways me and my bffs play this game its were we drawed a big apartment in dirt with beds and everything and its out secret game and then tahila goes out and tells Hannah,Lannie and somebody else i forgot and they drawed all over our dirt apartment and that was like weeks ago

So today Chloe G [My bff] has been hugging her and talking to her im so angry�

Yeah she is sleeping over on the 17th of october

My teacher said Dumb actually means you cant talk so this dude in my class goes well im dumb and i said Good we wont have to hear your voice again�

Today me and my friends were being stupid at reading time and our old teacher made us paper tiaras and we are like walkin around the classroom and runnign around and chloe G was putting water on the bean bags in the reading corner and we wre doing handwriting and one of the sentences were something about jelly beans and chloe�shouted out I like jellybeans

OK Just so you know for chloe G im just gonna put chloe and for chloe W im going to put chloe W�

and we were on the equipment and there is logs around it and chloe was balancing on them and then she was about to step on this huge lizard so she quickly jumped to the cement balancing thing and she shouted out That scared the F**k out of me and i was like cracking up laughing

Im 9 years old but me and my friends act like we are 15�

and me and chloe get tissues and go outside the room cause it looks like we are blowing our noses but we are actually running up and down the halls and looking out the windows because we are upstairs�

there are workers working at my school they are painting the school and they blocked off the way we usally go up to get upstaits and its funny because me and chloe and chloe W went out the wrong door and we were in the blocked off area and we are like omg how did we get here and we just ran out of the blocked off area

Im going to be a singer when i grow up because i can sing really good yeah and there is a thing were at our school we are having a mini idol like austrilan idol and chloe w auditioned today and she took in chloe with her because ur aloud to take in one friend and i was like waiting getting really bored�i am a really good singer but i cant sing in front of anyone besides my family and chloe�and thats the bad thing about my singing

I am in love Oops i wasent supposed to write that down but aww well

Im like half vegitarian cause i hate sea food and i think its cruel but i like meat�

well i dunno what to wrtie soo bye bye

I love my fans

If i have any?

收获的季节

�

初秋的晚饭后, 跟远道来访的老友踩着木板桥的绿光在充满桂花甜香的园子里闲聊. 凉爽的秋风梳理着夜色里的垂柳, 给人踏实的感觉. 多少事, 从来急, 天地转, 光阴迫, 还真不觉得三十年太久啊. 我们只争朝夕地急着收获了事业, 忙着收购了感情, 顺便还拿回了自尊. 人到中年, 有勇气拿得起, 敢享受放得下. 最大的收获是能慷慨地对自己说, 我好赖都经历过了.

Going walking with P. this morning. We've been doing that on and off for the last couple months. I enjoy time with her, she's a wonderful person. Walking gives us time to catch up on the news of each other's lives.

Last time we walked we got onto the subject of my childhood, I revealed more than I'm comfortable with now. I won't go there anymore. I want to leave those memories behind.

The events of those years have a part in who I am now but I am not defined by them. I have made a decision to be so much more than that. What I was called and�that I was abused and�abandoned does not keep a hold on me. I am able to realize that it was and is�me that decides everyday how I want to be as a person. It's always me that putting one foot in front of the other. I am proud of most of my choices and choose to learn from the one's that weren't the best.

I have some real good people that tell me the truth. I've been told that it's amazing that I've been able to create the life I have after coming from where I did. I see it as nothing more than choices, choices everyday. The AA groups say "Do the next right thing", I loved that the first time I heard it and I live by it. I think we all know what the right thing is and we make choices whether or not to value ourselves enough to do it.�I taught my kids that when they respect themselves, others will.�It's pretty simple really but I think we let drama distract us from our long term goal of happiness.

Hello there anyone listening? Anyways� thought that I should put my words on a journal like this so I have benn searching and I found this site. I hope that it will be able to keep all I have to think and anytime I look back at it willremind me of what I wrote.

YAY, i just finished my project today . or just now =) i'm so happy. It doesn't look very full though =( oh well.

I dont get why everybody has to have a word about what happens in other people's lives. It's not their business... they just really like "JUICY" gossip.

So (no names are supposed to be mentioned. so anyways.

"lauren" and "carl" are dating.

Lauren is taller than carl. but i mean c'mon . can't you just let them hug and hold hands without going .OMG. OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG.

i think it's so immature. Everybody.. or GIRL in particular are saying all these stuff about them behind their back. People are like "omg, they look SO weird together. I mean... SO WHAT? they dont seem to mind. And a third party person who has NO business in their lives SHOULD NOT say anything about it. It's not like you are involved. have some respect for the couple. I clearly just think that girls are jealous of lauren that she has a boyfriend now. Everybody -GIRLS- are saying how lauren is just doing that for attention and crap. i thought they were TIGHT with lauren.. why are they backstabbing? You know... if you just keep jutting your butt into their relationship.. soon it'll break becuz of you guys. thats not good.

But that's just the way of life isn't it?

why wont people just understand how it might feel to be them. you wouldn't want people saying "OMG YOU GUYS LOOK SO WEIRD TOGETHER." noo... you wouldn't

give some respect. just my opinion

love

�blahbee

i've chilled out a bit know decided not to worry about money any more well i look at this way if the banks and the gorenment dont give a dam then why should i . if it 's the tax payers money that has bailed out these muppets yet again then why hasnt the tax payer been given shares in all the banks that we the public have paid for .when they sell these shares back to the banks at proffit in a few years time i bet we dont get to see any of that either .no instead the fat cats get fatter and the every day person ends up bankrupt and homeless . and why because the banks are the ones who gave every tom dick and harry loans and mortages they could never afford all so they got thier bonus for the most leanding that month or that year .well as i was told you made your bed now lie in it the same should be said for them.

I've tried�improving myself�as a person.�Harder than ever..but sometimes I feel stuck, well with my life at least..til�I leave this house as an�adult. It's almost unbearable anymore..I feel numbness within me.Let's start with the fact that my�family just doesn't understand my thoughts or actions no�matter how much i try to explain them. They are just unnaturally close-minded.. it drives me close to insanity. They turn every conversation into something about Jesus.�Everything�relates back to him.�Sometimes i think they're half-zombies..I don't want to make this entry about them, and besides, it would take too much of my time to waste. I'll just end with the fact that they don't let me be a normal teenager. I've lived my whole life, up until a few years ago, being a remotely shy close-minded person. Heh..just like them. And I wasted my days doing senseless things...I feel like a very important time period of my life was thrown away. And my brain has dysfunctional mental problems now because of that. My parents didn't care how i lived my life. I was just something to take care of. I never had meaningful bonding moments with them. They never gave me advice on anything.�I had to go about�each and every little thing on my own.�Now, I've grown and realized the different ways I've wasted�those years. I could be a prosperous confident intelligent person, but it's so hard to start in such late years. Everyone seems to be way ahead of me socially. I mean, I have friends, it's just none of them are hardly even like me. I don't even think they fully understand me no matter how close we are. And our interests�almost completely�differ. I should be associating with the�indie free-spirited buoyant�sorta�people, but the one thing that holds me back is my social skills. I have quite a low experience. I don't worry about what people think, I just want them to accept me. So i've settled in with my crowd. I need new friends. I've grown and changed, but it's just hard to change your whole group of friends especially when they are socially experienced a lot more than I.

Now this was one jumbled entry of complex thoughts. I know I should've expanded in some places, it's a little confusing.

But I'd really like some feedback, thanks.