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DancingButterfly 48, Female, New York, USA - 13 entries

Sep 2006
10:21 AM EDT

It's my first entry on this site, I am a bit excited I guess. I just started my blog on myspace yesterday also...took a while. I can never understand how people can write such long blogs on their sites everyday, even my manager who i know for sure works over 12 hours a day...=O I guess this will be my small step to the "big goal". Who knows, maybe I will eventually be as "good" as those people with this daily "exercise".. ^_~ Meeting up with a new friend for dinner tonight. I would've never even agreed to it if it were few months ago, but since I fought so hard for the freedom to be single again, I figured I should open my mind to broaden my life (and dating) experience. Though I don't think I am attracted to him in that way, he's got a great sense of humor. I hope it's going to be a nice dinner.

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lmm27295 44, Female, New York, USA - 15 entries

Sep 2006
7:19 AM EDT

Well, here we go again.I am in trouble w/ B again. Most of the weekend was really good. We worked on the house all day Sat. He did the outside and I did the inside. C came and stayed w/ us some. Sat. night I gave B a ** and he seemed really happy and things seemed to be ok. Mon., yesterday, he went and played golf w/ my dad and the neighbor. When he got home he was tired and wanted to take a nap so we go in the bedroom and lay down. And it started "Let me f u in the ***, give me a **, let me see your ****s" I thought we were going to snuggle and spend time together but I should have known to not go in there and lay w/ him. Well, I guess it was time for my usually b***h out session b/c he started in on me. "I don't like you, You are not a real woman, You need to make up for all the **s you have not given me, I don't give a f*** about this house, U r lazy,etc...." I tried to stick up for myself but there was just no use. He just kept on and on. He even tried to kick me out of the bedroom. He tried everthing in the book to break me. And the times in the past when I have snapped are all my fault too. So I guess I am suppose to take this, I am not aloud to speak up, I am not aloud to break nor am I aloud to go and talk to a friend. I am suppose to keep this all inside. I have never in my life been talked to this way by another man. BJ would die if he could hear the things that B says to me. We did not speak the rest of the night last night. We have talked a lil this morn but I don't really have anything to say to him. He acts as if I am suppose to be ok. He has this "I don't care attitude" I cannot take this anymore, I am so sick of." I DONT WANT TO BE INTIMATE W/ A GUY WHO THINKS I OWE IT TO HIM! or a guy who shoves it down my throat every min of the day. I am so hurt and disguested w/ the way he acts. It is unbelieveable how a grown man acts. I cannot stand the way I have to live. I have to walk on glass everday. I cannot take it anymore. I want to run and scream so bad. And I HATE having to work like this. He could give a crap less. As long as he gets what he wants. He even went as low as saying "if u really love me, u would do it." That is some dumb line that 1. you would use in high sch or 2. you would hear on an after sch special about teens having sex. It just pisses me off to no end. Its not like he has been w/o for 6 months. It had only been 1.5 days since I did ..... Oh my god, if there was something wrong w/ me and I could not have ***, he would be cheating on me left and right. This also tells me that probably when we first meet and we were not sleeping together yet, he was prob f****** grls left and right and I believe that w/ all my heart. I am so sick of things all I have been doing lately is daydreaming about the way I wished my relationship would have turned out b/c this is what I never wanted for myself. You know what is sad, yesterday while he has playing golf I was downloading wedding songs and was so excited b/c I found some that I really like and look at what happens when he comes home.

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redshotlizard 37, Female, New York, USA - 17 entries

Sep 2006
5:16 PM HNT

i cant believe my dad didn't notice me come in from my walk. I walked right passed him. he's always watching tv he never pays attention 2 us anymore. well i despise my dad bcause he acts like he hates me. he hates what i do and want to do. he hates people i hang w/ n i never hear him say i love u 2 me. I wish i had a good dad to be his girl. My mom is never home n she is never showing me she cares n i feel like an outcast i just want some1 to prove 2 me that i matter 2 them. I am always sad and depressed. I cant live this way. God free me from this prisson i live in. I have never felt what love is b4. I want someone to love me and to make me there everything. I need to feel this emotion b4 i leave this earth. God send me a lover i need n long 4 one. This girl is a teenage gypsey that longs for a deep kis and long lasting hug.~elizabeth

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mccreight29 53, Female, Georgia, USA - 19 entries

Sep 2006
4:04 PM EDT

without discussing my emotional issues I dont really have much to say. I am a trainwreck I suppose.. you know its bad, but you cant resist watching the carnage. I have a great Job.. somedays.. when I am not getting chewed out for not babysitting the guys.. I have a relationship that works I think.. I have kids who hate me.. and parents who ignore me. what more could a girl ask for. I still believe that one day its all going to come together and I can relax.

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allycat 31, Female, Georgia, USA - 12 entries

Sep 2006
3:20 PM EDT

so sad... no more car!!!

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Jewels 32, Female, Georgia, USA - 17 entries

Sep 2006
1:17 PM ADT

back to school. what is school like is it fun. im home schooled

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iLOVEmyBRO 33, Female, South Carolina, USA - 7 entries

Sep 2006
11:39 AM EDT

I went to a Labor Day carnival today. It was GREAT!! I went with my friends Ryan,Emma,Samantha,and Kayla. We where just about to get on a ride when it started POURING rain!! I loved to stand out in it because it was such a hot day. Everybody else was going for cover, but not me!! XOXO~ Jessica

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redshotlizard 37, Female, South Carolina, USA - 17 entries

Sep 2006
11:22 AM HNT

I am having a crazy and very hectic day. I have so many things to worry about and so little time to get things done. I just want to go home and rest my eyes. Senior year is so crazy. I wish I had a guy to love and lean on. Wow so much to do. I have been having horrible days. Back 2 school has been horrible. I miss my older sister. She is taking me in with her because my next birthday my mom is kicking me out of the house. Could my life get any worse? Kbnock on wood so it don't. Talk lata.

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ladybug20 39, Female, Canada - 9 entries

Sep 2006
2:21 PM PST

So I did it ...I faced myself in a way I never thought I would. When I moved closer into the city, I was running away from everyone in the small hometown. But thanks to one of my best friends, and hopefully someone serious one day I faced the demons. I will deal with my health issues as much as I can, and I took a step out of me and took a look in. Jay did the same thing when he went camping, (I couldn't go, minor health issue) but I think he over analzyed. I just took a look in, and analyzed what I saw. I am very analystic person, but if you "over analyze" you get the wrong impression. I learned some things about me I don't quite think I was ready to learn, but with him by my side I think I can do it. And I don't even know how to thank him ...it's not just something I can say ...he is helping me turn myself around. I guess when you make a fresh start, things come back and punch you in the face. So with all of this thinking, I am hoping that one day we can full fledged be together as long as he doesn't let everyone run his life for him. But he is looking to get into the groove ...married, or close to anyways, thinking about kids and buying a house etc. Im only in University ...could that be the thing that pushes us apart? I hope not ...it's still early ...marriage wouldn't come for a few years, and by that time i'll have my BA ...work for a couple years, have ONE kid, and work part time? It sounds realistic ...but somehow I know life will throw a curve ball in there ...what would life be without curve balls? I just hope he is willing to wait, if he can realize the potential long term wise with us. My philosophy ...if you care about someone, either let them go and come back to you, or just be patient. Even though patience is not my strong suit. Or do I even bother to see where it goes? Should I just give up now ...save the friendship and a lot of hurt down the road if he isn't willing to wait for me to start my life? So much to think about ...so little time ...

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bloOpErR 35, Female, South Carolina, USA - 13 entries

Sep 2006
8:51 AM EDT

hay i havent written in a while. so how yall doin...hmmm random..ok im bored. gawd dont no wat to say so imm gonna go...haha so yea..ok bi

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