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        mandie  45, Female, New Jersey, USA - 3 entries
    23
    Aug 2006
    6:25 PM EDT
       

    hello, my life is sad, mean, and disapointing. my heart was very big but now it is the size of a walnut. i thought i can trust people but i can't because i told my friend my secreat but 2 days later she was as mean as a lion fighting over a deer.she went against me. she was my best friend for life but really it was best friend for 2 days. saturday we went to the mall and we got our ears pierced and went shopping all day then we went to dinner after dinner she slept over boy we had a great time and she kept on saying we are bffl's(best friends for life) but oh well. i wrote her a letter saying how i feel about our friend ship but i didn't give it to her. so there you go that's my story.
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        meagan  47, Female, Canada - 15 entries
    23
    Aug 2006
    2:17 AM EST
       

    Yesterday I got a lot of work done which felt great as I've been way too busy to do any new tasks lately. And then last night after teaching one class at my studio, I danced at a bellydance fundraising event called From the Hip: a fundraiser for Lebanon & Gaza at Lula Lounge. There were so many terrific dancers performing, Lula Loungs is such a nice venue, and it was for such a great cause - it all felt very good. I missed most of the start of the show as I rushed in from just having taught and had to get dressed and made-up still, but then I snuck down and had the pleasure of seeing a few performers before me. It's so inspiring to see other dancers doing great shows! I performed a piece that was half improvised and half choreographed and I actually felt OK about my performance which is unusual. Lately I've been feeling blah about my own shows. I didn't feel WOW about this one, but I felt decent at least. I kinda wished I could've stayed later, but I also really wanted to get home, eat, and get to bed - I'm such an oldster! The bad thing about the night was after eating really clean all day, I splurged and had bread and butter dipped in tomatoe sauce with feta cheese (my fave new indulgence)and I topped it off with some ice cream! This should be a lesson to me not to let myself get to starving hungry cause then I binge like that! Anyways, today is a new day and I just finished working out (60 mins cardio & back/biceps)and I'm eating my health breakfast of egg whites and cherries (Wala'a brough me yellow ones from work last night). I really must do my groceries soon - I miss my oatmeal!
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        Due7  34, Female, Canada - 2 entries
    23
    Aug 2006
    11:06 AM PDT
       

    Today I woke up at 8:00 in the morning!teenagers need their sleep! Then After waking up that early,I had to walk uptown to go to work! Why oh why did I choose this type of job that causes me stress from no getting sleep!If you hate waking up early leave a note.
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        Due7  34, Female, Canada - 2 entries
    23
    Aug 2006
    9:50 AM PDT
       

    Me and Branden
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        Babysmallz  38, Female, New Jersey, USA - 9 entries
    23
    Aug 2006
    8:58 AM CST
       

    ok so todays been a pretty mellow day. I mean like i usually have so many toughts running through my head so many emotions and today feels different somehow. Today i feel........ Numb. Right now im just searching my music collection trying to find a song to match my mood. I guess thats what i love about music even when you feel alone in this world when you feel like you have nothing or no one to turn to, theres always that one song that one voice that can give you hope give you something to believe in again, and remind you that out there somewhere theres someone or something worth fighting for.
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        nesianchic  39, Female, Fiji Islands - 2 entries
    22
    Aug 2006
    11:36 PM NFT
       

    “Punk is musical freedom. It's saying, doing and playing what you want. In Webster's terms, 'nirvana' means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world, and that's pretty close to my definition of Punk Rock.” Well I guess life is like rock, everyone has their own rhythm,when life gets on a low your music gets so low its depressin but everyone can make their music audible,not noisy and interpretative, with a clear conscious and solid will you can suceed in whatever comes your way or whatever you set to achieve.Someone said that being intellectual creates a lot of questions and no answers,so I guess the key is to be more pratical and rock on.
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        Babysmallz  38, Female, New Jersey, USA - 9 entries
    22
    Aug 2006
    5:08 PM CST
       

    ok, so this is my first journal entry and i dont really have a lot to say, ok so thats not true i have plenty to say i just dont know how to say it. Thats probably my biggest issue in life not being able to express how i feel. I think its hard for people to say what they feel or what they are thinking out loud because once they do the cant hide from it or try to pretend it doesn't exist once you admitt to something its with you forever. I guess this is my reason for starting a journal because i have so much going on in my head so many things i need to say and i need to get it out there because right now i feel like life is passing me by and this pain and confusion i feel inside is keeping me from being happy and im scared and if i express that if i write it down and try to figure out why i feel this way and what i can do to beat it i can finally be happy i can finally just live. If anybody's reading this you have no idea what im talking about right? i dont blame you im kinda trying to figure out who i am as well.
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        PrivateDee  38, Female, New Jersey, USA - 5 entries
    22
    Aug 2006
    11:42 AM CST
       

    Well today is beautiful. I'm really bored since I didnt have to go to school today. I went to the library to read...The science of love...There was a quote from Samuel Jonson...Love is a disease that can only be cured by marriage...I its funny to me. I dont know what to believe about love. I've only really been in love like 2 times out of whole 19 years. I should tell the guy, that I'm in love with now, that I'm in love with him, But I don't know how. It hurts sometimes when I sit and think about how much I love him. What is your opinion on what love is? I think its just caring for someone so much you would give your life for them. I also believe there are different stages of love. Your suppose to love everyone. So in a way there that stage. Theres also this one stage where I feel like ooo I'm suppose to love these people(like family)But then there are the ones you truely love. The one that have touched you in the most powerful way! I love my friendz more then anything in the world. I dont know y I'm making this post public but I don't care...Maybe I can get some help from the people that read my journal...you can email if you have a suggestion on what I should do...(Computergeekgrlsr05@yahoo.com)Thankz to those that do.Well its about to rain here in Dallas, TX and I love the rain so I'ma go sit and watch the rain.
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        meagan  47, Female, Canada - 15 entries
    22
    Aug 2006
    11:05 AM EST
       

    Today is my second day of my new life. My new life is all about balance - not being psycho-crazy about clean eating and working out all day, but also not about pigging out all day on all my favourite treats (like I did all this weekend at the buffets in Niagara falls)! After deciding not to compete in the August fitness model competition I put on lots of fat over just three weeks from eating everything I wanted! I do feel I needed that after being so strict for a while, but now I'm aiming for a balanced, healthy, fit lifestyle! I'll keep you posted on how it's going everyday! m
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        PrivateDee  38, Female, New Jersey, USA - 5 entries
    21
    Aug 2006
    3:42 PM CST
       

    Today was a long day at work...I had to prep for inventory tomorrow(WHICH I DONT HAVE TO DO!! YAY!!)but I'm glad I got that crap out of the way! Marshall and Adrian and their other friend stopped by to see me...I thought that was sooo cool! and I finally got to meet adrian(Who is hella cool!!)Beanz is surrounded by fucking awesome people!! BEANZ IS MY BESTFRIEND!! I LOVE THAT HOE LIKE MEXICANS LOVES RICE!! LOL
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