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ladybug20 39, Female, Canada - 9 entries

Sep 2006
9:04 AM PST

Why is it when you try to do something good, it turns around and bites you in the ass? And why do people tell you they want to start settling down (in the "almost breaking up" speech) and then when you are out for lunch they tell you that they are going to buy a house with their roommate. Who by the way currently hates me right now. Is it worth it for me to sink my energy into a possible relationship if his idea of settling down is buying a house with his roommate? Neither of them even have the money for a down payment!!! I stopped taking my medication for my cyst cause my moods just went crazy and it was driving him away. All I get in return tho is his work cells voicemail. I can barely think about that today though ...Exactly one year ago I was in a car accident. And exactly one year ago is when my last relationship starting heading south. Maybe I'll just be the crazy fucking cat lady when im older. Even though right now I don't have a cat. Maybe im just not cut out for these useless things. So many questions that I can't answer, nor can anyone. Right now that is ...but I want to know now. Now I don't know if he is coming on Sunday, and Krissy needs to know today. And everyone from work is looking forward to meeting him. If im ever having a shitty day I could call him and he could put a smile on my face for the rest of the day. Plus Bob wants to see who this person is ...has to see if he is good enough for me. So flirtatious but very protective co-worker. And I don't know what I'd do without him ...we started off as friends, then really good friends, then dating. I would have been lost out here if it weren't for Jay. But I can't figure out what to do ...he can't even fucking pick up the phone lately. Sometimes I think he is sleeping with the slut he got a job for. Maybe I should just move out of the province ...I can run away from it all, im good at that. I just need a sign to push me in the direction I need to go.

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shae 32, Female, Texas, USA - 22 entries

Sep 2006
12:51 PM EDT

hey great news! I get to go to romania on a mission trip in december it is going to be soooooo much fun!! I get to go with my bro and dad and a friend of mine!! the only bad part is that i have a nine hour flight and i have to rase 2500 dollars but the money is no problam.

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shae 32, Female, Texas, USA - 22 entries

Sep 2006
12:34 PM EDT

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redshotlizard 37, Female, Texas, USA - 17 entries

Sep 2006
10:58 AM HNT

Hey, I am in school and things are going well. I have a free period and I have so many things going on. For one I have to go to a lot of college visits and I have to finish two portfolios. This saturday I will be teaching a gymnastics class for my senior project and I am so excited. I hope it works out good and that the children I will be teaching will love it there. I recently got my license but my mom will not let me take her car and I can't go under part time insurance w/ her eather. I wish I could h ave my own car, but that would mean that I would need a job and all my money would go to paying for the gas. That job I would have would be serious and I would be bored w/ paying for my car. It would be crazy. Oh, I went to a county fair in Wounsocket, RI. I went on a lot of rides and I played games. I watched a car race and I saw some horses pull weights and it was so cool. I go to this fair every year. I also have so much good food there because every time we go we always get some great food that we never had before and that we love to have. We grub there. I have a crush on this kid in my school. I will keep his name confidential because I feel like it. But I think this kid is so sweet and georgous. He always pokes me in the side and he tickles me. He always makes me laugh and that is what I love about him. Except he doesn't believe in God and that is a minus. I think it is so cool for a guy to believe in a power greater that him. I am still trying to figure this guy out. I find him dreamy and hope that he will one day think I am wonderful too. He thinks I am sweet as a friend but nothing more. Well I guess I will talk later. All my love, Elizabeth

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shae 32, Female, Texas, USA - 22 entries

Sep 2006
9:27 AM EDT

Who do i admire lots of people but one particularly. ME!! LOL

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shae 32, Female, Texas, USA - 22 entries

Sep 2006
9:24 AM EDT

ok so um what exactly do you want to share about a jurnal it is privite that is the point right so who wants to make it public??

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Miss1 46, Female, Kentucky, USA - 13 entries

Sep 2006
6:40 AM EDT

That's a good question. That of which I have no answer. Things are actually beginning to look up for our family. Of course, we're still strapped financially but we are in the process of moving to a new home. it's a cute little townhome in a pretty good area. Josh and I have been talking more about our emotions and problems with each other and believe it or not, it's actually helping us get thru. C has been having better days since we last talked. I am trying to deal with her a little different. I wish I knew where I could attend some parenting classes. Maybe once we get situated in our new place I'll enlist somewhere. I went to report yesterday and it breaks me emotionally everytime. I hate going there and seeing my mom all fuck'd up on pills but that's her way and I wouldn't know her any other way. I love them so very much. I just wish she wouldn't give up on life so early. God, sometimes don't you wish you knew how to take your own advice? CRAZY!! I didn't go to work today because I have a lot of packing and sorting to do. Yet, here I am typing away with you. I needed to cleanse my thoughts real fast. So, I've been online trying to find which digital cable provider is the best deal. We just found out we can't use our satellite dish at our new place so I guess we're going digital. I'm thinking of going with insight. Seems like the best deal. well, Josh is at work, "C" is at school and I am here alone in my thoughts. I may be back to write more later. Until then.......So, it's a little later and I'm back. So now, to get at the question at hand... What am I afraid of and why.... I'm afraid to go through life like this. NUMB. FROZEN. MEAN. LIFELESS. Everything that I am or am not reflects on my little girl and I am so afraid she'll grow up with no esteem or confidence like me. I am afraid that this will never get any better. Whatever "this" is. Life, love, money, all of it. I am so terrified that this is it. Please if someone has any advice for me, I could most definitely use it. And it and you would be very cherished and respected. Thank you.

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iLOVEmyBRO 33, Female, South Carolina, USA - 7 entries

Sep 2006
12:47 PM EDT

Remember this day from 5 years ago. Remember the agony!!!! Remember this day. IT WILL GO DOWN IN HISTORY!!!

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1 comment(s) - 07:38 AM - 09/28/2006

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lmm27295 44, Female, South Carolina, USA - 15 entries

Sep 2006
9:26 AM EDT

Well, I am so sleepy today. I need a nap! I have to work at WH tonight which really sucks! This will be it for a while. I hate having to go up there to work. I have been so busy at work that I have not had time to write. B & I finally made up at the end of last week. It was a fight to began w/ but we finally made it through. We both got things off of our chest that we wanted to say. I broke down crying,as usually, and I hate it when I do that! I hate to cry infrount of him and no matter how hard I try to hold it back, I still do it. He sometimes thinks that I do that to try to get my way, but I really don't. I cannot not help it. Things have been really good since then. We are both trying to not do things that the other one does not like. B has been slack though about helping me around the house but I am trying hard not to complain. Like Sat. I was gone all day dress shopping and working at WH and he was home all day playing video games w/ T & J and nothing was done at the house. It really pissed me off but I just let it go. Anyway... $ is really tight right now which is making things hard for us as well. There are several things coming up like Cs baby shower and Halloween and we are broke and living check to check right now which I hate w/ a passion. I don't know how to get us ahead again and it is so frustrating.

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spoiledbrat7383 33, Female, South Carolina, USA - 2 entries

Sep 2006
6:56 PM EDT

Hey this is Hannah and im the koolest and funest girl u will ever meet ok well I like to talk on the phone and I love to chat online I would say that im guy crazy over someone I call "sweetheart" he shines my world well thats it for right now.

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