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smb 50, Female, Wyoming, USA - 129 entries

Jan 2007
7:50 AM MST

What a crazy night last night was. I pretty much told CN that we are seeing other people and that I was going to go to Rapid to see Moe. Then I talked to Moe and he said he cut his finger and had to get stitches and wouldn't be able to make it to Rapid. So now I am (probably really stupid) for lack of anything better to do heading to spearfish to see CN. At least I can try to get some!!!! who knows, maybe when I see him I will have a change of heart and want him back, I know that is what he is hoping for. I do think we need to get some specifics worked out though. I am glad my mom is watching the boys, I need a BREAK!

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smb 50, Female, Wyoming, USA - 129 entries

Jan 2007
6:42 AM MST

I had a very vivid dream about Donnie last night (my first): He came walking in the Garage. He looked so different. His hair was long and scruffy and he had some facial hair but I could tell he'd just shaved. He looked like he'd gained a lot of weight, some fat and some muscle. I thought he looked huge! He was acting SO weird! He came strolling in like "hey hows it going?" I freaked out!!! I cried and screamed he couldn't be there that he was dead and I know cause I saw his dead body and we buried him and he was like, "no way wonder how ya did that cause here I am" I kept saying how I must be dreaming,,, and tried to wake myself up and he insisted I wasn't dreaming and that, that was really him. When I asked him where he'd been for almost a year he couldn't really answer me, He acted very distracted and walked out into the back yard through the back garage door, then came back, he was acting like he was looking for something. He didn't even act like he'd missed me at all. I finally got a hug from him and he felt so BIG and scary. I was actually kind of scared of him. He hurt me from squeezing me so tight. WHen I said, "ouch you hurt me" he flexed his big arms, growled at me and said, "Ive been doing steriods." Then for some reason (weird things can happen in dreams)his mom and dad were in my kitchen so I started screaming and crying and pulled his mom into the garage to see him. She freaked out too! While they were hugging I got the boys. They were scared of him too and didn't want anything to do with him. I remember trying to sneak away to call CN but never got a chance. I couldn't believe I had a "boyfriend" and my husband had come back. I also remember feeling like he had changed so much and "walked out on us" and was hiding so much from me that it would never work. For some reason I was glad to see him but I didn't have a feeling that I wanted to be with him again. He really was scary acting. This dream felt so real. I have been thinking of him and this dream all day! I do wish he'd come back but not like that! It was too wierd!

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oconfessionario 40, Female, North Carolina, USA - 8 entries

Jan 2007
9:40 AM EDT

This too shall pass. -The Bible, somewhere...about the King of Solomon. This saying is very fitting for a personal struggle I've dealt with for as long as I can remember. I've uncovered recently that the key to not suffering, is to not be aware or not think about one's suffering. As I've mentioned before, I'm very prone to wallowing, and ruminating in sorrow. This personal struggle that I'm writing about is centered around something so natural and everyday and yet has become for me an enduring carnival-esque hell of sorts. I'm talking about FOOD of course. The F word. In writing about this, I'm attempting very much not to allow myself to ruminate on what a struggle it has been, rather to gain insight and perspective so as to continue with good habits and patterns and let passing phases lie where they are. To be con'td.

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anna 35, Female, California, USA - 4 entries

Jan 2007
6:24 AM PDT

love to me is something like but even though you dont get love back from the ones who hurt you then you get tired of trying to show love to that person and then that does not become love until you are gone then you miss them you know it is true love

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Brenda 63, Female, Alabama, USA - 3 entries

Jan 2007
7:07 PM CST

I have alot to say and noone could care less other than myself an i really don't think that it matters a hole lot because i'm the only one who will ever read this anyway. I have managed to make to another year 2007 and i still miss my son Joshua David Harvey and i beat myself up every day for not being a good mother to my children, my daughter hates me and i guess she always will, it doesn't matter what i do one day she will talk to me an the next she wont, i cannot make her want to be around me or talk to me an i refuse to try and push myself on her, i used to let her get to me an treat me any ole way but i will not do that any more. I have had a good year with Chris an we have a nice apt. with a good landlady who has become a very good friend to Chris an I. The Lord has been real good to us and i plan to be good to my lord an be thankful for all that i have.We gonna have a real good year and lots of fun so hang in there and let's grow old together, hell yeah, talk to ya later

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1 comment(s) - 01:19 AM - 01/19/2007

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jaime 33, Female, Oregon, USA - 3 entries

Jan 2007
7:44 PM EDT

Today we went on a field trip to the dump in Arlington, Oregon

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karategirl28713 29, Female, North Carolina, USA - First entry!

Jan 2007
5:57 AM EDT

you r getting on my nerves ms easterling

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dee23 54, Female, United Kingdom - 170 entries

Jan 2007
9:51 PM GMT

why is it jan uary is nothing but bills .do they save them up and send out bills in bulk just to see who they can make go bankrupt.at last i've piad them all and with a bit a of luck still have some casah for the rest of the month .my new baby niece is due to be born tommorowso i get to do my fav job and go shopping for baby clothes .i dont know what they are going to call her yet but i'm sure it will be somthing nice.

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diva 37, Female, California, USA - 6 entries

Jan 2007
5:15 PM EDT

Today i got some bad news at school. i did not pass a test that i need to gradute. i dont know what to do i just cant pass this test.im in a class that suppost to help me pass it, but it is not helping. i really dont do nothing in that class. all we do is worksheets and the teacher really dont help.she dont even have alll the grades in the computer.so she dont even know are right grades.this class in really being my GPA down and my mother is not happy with it. so im trying to get my classes change so that i can get some really help.

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every1luvsme 34, Female, Ohio, USA - 16 entries

Jan 2007
4:20 PM EDT

i was trin to plug my ipod in the computer, when i figured out there was no cord, so i tried to find it in all my k=jean pockets, and i finally found it when i gave up!

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