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A comforting few days this week. Fall is here and things are cooling down outside. To celebrate I've turned off the A.C. and opened my single window and screen door. Wonderfully fall scented breezes have been entering my apartment and chasing away the stale cigarette and bachelor smell.

Tuesday I woke up full of energy and finally got all of my dishes washed and the kitchen straightnened out. They'd been in desperate need of cleaning ever since Adam left several weeks ago. It was a bit of a pain because the kitchen sink hasn't been working for, again, several weeks. I ended up filling the sinks from the tub using the water bottles usually kept in the refridgerator. After I'd done that, everything was pretty simple and only took a coupla hours.

I also managed to go out and get a cheap tv stand. It's pretty poor quality, but it will last until I move in June and released my poor hassock from tv stand duty. Man is it nice to be able to put my feet up again!

Oh, and I got the sink fixed shortly after coming back with the tv stand. The guy came in and just unscrewed the end of the faucet (the name for this part escapes me at the moment) and removed a piece of rubber that had gotten caught there plugging up the whole works. It made me feel like an idiot. I could have done that if I'd thought about it. Here I am thinking that it has something to do with running the faucet at the same time as the shower or dishwasher, or that there's air in the line or something and it's just this stupid piece of rubber! Well... I told him about the dishwasher's problem and he said he needed to order a part for it. That made me feel marginally better.

Really, it didn't bother me too much. When he'd left I sat back relaxed and drank a few Rob Roys. What a great end to a day off!

Work's been okay. I get less than excited whenever I realize it's nearing time to go, but it's...well, to be frank, it's pretty boring when I get there. I really need another line of work. But that's one of the reasons I'm going into the woods next June so...

Okay, that's enough for now. If I think of anything else momentous I'll write again.

Hey

we have our anual Terry Fox run tomorrow! which means YES we get to miss MOST OF science and we get an extended lunch. yays for us.

Today is THURSDAY. tomorrow is FRIDAY!�

ehh . i got my braces tightened again. it hurts to bite. thats kinda sad cuz we made our wrap in foods class today and all i got to do was LOOK at people eat. but yea.. when i got home i chopped it all up and ate it =D there's still one in the fridge.. but.. its for mom. AHOFAISHGL i want to eat it.

i didn't finish typing my chinese thing yet. . should i just do it at home? then send it to myself at school. or just type it out. AH WELL .who cares . i'll just type it out at home

������� love

�������� blahbee

p.s.

�oh yea.. we have these new exchange students in our school from china.. to like.. come here for a week i think..

yea.. so i got this girl in my foods group now.. her name is.. li. yu . bin?

i dunno but i found out Clarine was her host. so i guess shes gonna sleep in her bed and use her bathroom AND SHARE FOOD. haha

Even though i DO speak mandarin.. ITS SO HARD to convert english into chinese. i don't think that girl understood me though cuz she just stared at me... -.- i was telling her to grate the cheese.. then she just stands there with the cheese in her hands....� i was like. .OKAY.. GRATE IT DAMNIT . then five minutes later when she understands how to grate the cheese.. it takes her half an hour to do it.� -sighs- oh well.

CROSS YOUR FINGERS EVERYBODY. CROSS THEM FOR ME! HOPE THAT MY DVD PLAYER WILL ARRIVE AT SEARS. thx

toodles,

�������� blahbee

p.p.s or is it p.s.s?

anyways

you know whats really funny ? I was dying because i didnt get my dvd player yet but now that it's only ... 24 HOURS AWAY. i'm being pretty patient. or at least i'm not running over the house. but yes.. because i didn't think about my dvd player today THE DAY PASSED BY LIKE zoooooooom. maybe cuz i had double block foods. =) yummy wrap.

I keep catching glimps of dgm when i'm burning it because it shows how much it has burned . thats not good because now i wanna watch them all. BUT i wanna watch them on my dvd player. OKAY. dont get me started

calm calm calm calm calm

there's still an hour left. why didnt it burn this morning? i did something wrong. then it stopped halfway WHICH LEFT THE COMPUTER ON.

GOd. furuba is getting boring now.. why can't it get UNBOREDED .

�LOVE

�blahbee

AND i wont edit this anymore. i wont add anything anymore so yea.

Not much is going on today, I know I need to get this house in order since Elease is coming tomorrow around� three or four to check things out. Have alot of laundry to do and very little money. Hate asking people to help me mama gave twenty the other day. Which helped me out, worried about alot of stuff that Iam powerless over .Any who I noticed� Daymon and Walt called me last night.I �heard the phone ring I just didnt want� answer it. Maybe Walt felt a little slighted, that wasnt my intention at all. I was actually� felt/feel kind of bad about what went down between us. Sin does this to ya. We spoke this morning, then he came by before he went to work. I was stil in my lougne gear, shorts and a t shirt.He did'nt seem to mind.� Although he had on sunglasses I sense he was undressing me with his eyes. Which he readily admits. What I find most refreshing about Walt is his�demeanor� towards me isnt predicated on trying to impress others. He is unchanging whether were alone� around other people.� LIke today for instance my neighbors were out when he drove up, Walt was still walt copping a feel, putting� his hands on my ass. licking my ear.. hmm if he was trying temp me it worked!� I did tell him that what transpired btwn will not happen again. Bet he dont believe it.��He was smelling so good today mmm.��For two years he's tried to talk to me,he wasnt t someone I'd typically be intersted in.....never fathomed things would unfold like this. Man something is going on� between us, is it my pheramones? Cant be sex, that only occured once. Besides I had this feeling before anything popped off. I remember when he told me he a friend, I was spitting mad! Another time walt told me bout� how much time he allocates to work, this provoked to tell him fuck you more than once. Men are stupid/ clueless/he should have known by my reaction that somehing up with me. Why do I conduct myself� this way I cant explain it.� We have never declared that� were official so�I shouldnt be trippin like I do!

I wanted to see walt last night so As I walked halfway to his house he met me. Initially he wasnt too keen on me� doing that, because it was late. I didnt see it as a problem, we live in the same area! He was driving like he was sixty, slow ten mph. We sat in�his driveway for awhile, then he brought me home.� Talked a bit more, and� I gave him the friend speech. He went off on me. Saying that we are more than friends, we talk everyday, spend time together alot (not doing anything in particular) we kiss. He said which one of your friends do you do this shit with. I had to be truthful, none of my friends share this level of intimacy.� His words keep replaying in my head "you know what this shit is...... its a relationships stop hitting� me over the head with that friend bullshit."�I can see he was pissed off,� he went on to say� I cant��categorize a relationship as being casual or anything else ,that is until I get better aquainted with someone. I disagree because many time I have said ok we are only going to be friends, sex partners whatever.� Hate� to admit it but he is right were more than friends. Not sure how to define but it's something more than casual.

We chatted for a minute then he dared me to race him race in the middle of the night . If he won I would have sex with him. I can be cocky at times so I was up for the challenge. I�believed �I could defeat him with out�effort. He won, aint gone lie I was shocked as hell! I claimed he cheated although� I knew damn well he didnt, so we did it again. And� I lost�I �know what that meant. I never planned to give him any, was hoping he would forget about it or just write it off as a joke.�Neither of these things happened.� We agreed I would pay up on the weekend. I got out of his truck came in the house layed down. The phone rang it was�Walt telling me he wanted to collect his reward. I was like damn!� He came back to my house to get me, this brother was fo real. He wasnt playing, he wanted me not now but right now! I didnt want to follow through with it yet I was curious. Although he was a bit aggressive he wasnt an ogre.� He didnt act like Eli� who's a crazed maniac. Man, all kind of thoughts were running through my mind. LIke what am I doing here underneath him? Is he this open with most women,� what does this mean to him if anything?� Is this just an act or something deeper? During a previous conversation I asked him bluntly why do you want me so bad? Did he want a story to share with his homies or was I just a notch on his belt. He's so open where Iam so guarded.� Once he asked me directly what am I scared of? How could I explain to him that I fear that myself. Fear letting go, falling in love with (him or anyone)�only to be told its headed no where.

�I care about him deeply, this is is where I usually began plotting my sabotage. Would rather hurt now than later. Cant guarantee anything if I/we could my relationships would be fruitful and healthy.� I dont want to hurt him and vice versa so......

heyy

We have the Terry Fox run tomorrow I THINK� i'm not sure.. i'm pretty sure though that the poster said : sept. 26 block 4

but maybe i read it wrong.

It was kinda funny today because maybe� i was a bit dehydrated after phys. ed i felt like i couldn't breath. so i started panting like a dog. kinda. HAHA do people go hysterical when they're dehydrated?

ARGH why wont Friday come faster.

i hate chinese i hate chinese i hate chinese.

dinner time

TA-TA

������� blahbee

Dear Journal;

Im not at skool today i decided to skip. I dont have the socks for my skirt anyways and my skool pants i cant seem to find them && my dress shoes r killing me soooo fuking much. Anyways im by the libary by keel n KLawrence. My friend luca is gunna come n visit me YAY VISITORS LOL. Im bored srry i guess i can say this is a ok day lol well ima go get ready to meet up with my friend luca�

Ambition is such a wonderful word.

we had to do this thing in social studies where you create your own coat of arms.(world�view stuff) �THE first word i saw that caught my eye was AMBITION. so basically my page is filled with the colours orange.. and some gold. cuz apparently .. orange represents AMBITION.

Before.. i never really thought about it because you know.. you dont just THINK of words and ... THINK. but yea... now that i start thinking deeply (sounds strange) ambition is such an inspiring word.

okay .

i've decided ... the avs converter is leaving a watermark because i didnt pay for it. SOO i'm just going to find avi. files of DGM to download online. because if i did all that work for nothing its gonna be the saddest day of my life. REALLY SAD

okay . ANOTHER DAY HAS PASSED.. kinda .

I'M SO EXCITED TO HAND IN MY COAT OF ARMS POSTER. i think it looks wonderful.. i love the elephant the most. everyone was saying how it looked too childish and cartoony. but who cares. its my coat of arms. i could do whatever i want. i hope my dvd player comes with NICE earphones if not.. i'm getting my own with my last 20 DOLLAR BILL. its gonna be worth it. i know so. HAHAHA then i get to watch dgm where ever i want

WHICH INCLUDES (ahem)

in bed! yay on my bed snuggling with my cat. watching dgm . the best ever

in the car. EVEN BETTER .. ROAD TRIPS WILL BE LESS BORING

at school maybe.. during lunch? just snuggle in the corner of the bookshelf where its quiet

ANYWHERE! yay anywhere is just anywhere which means ANYWHERE

Friday is getting closer.. COME TO ME MY PRECIOUS DVD PLAYER

love,

janette