Don't Keep Score
Acting With competence
Be involve in family
Look in mirror like one self
Do not be angry
'Natural emotions take hold of me and hijack me.
Apologize quickly & sincerly when I've done something wrong.
Practice Kindness & Patience.
I've got to work on my Differentiation.� I've got to work on improving myself and take care of myself and make decision that is good for me...and not what other people think.
In the past, I let my family run my life.� I was suppose to go to the funeral of my ex-gf.� But their was death taboo which conflicted with my father's memorial.� Something irrational about that.�
And I didn't go.� So I abandon my ex gf in her time of trouble.� What kind of moron does that?� Still I should not have listen to them, my family.� Even C told me not to go.� I could not believe
it.� Now she says that I have to listen to myself not what the family is telling me to do.
I went to church and I can see that I can be forgiven for that.
Even I'm flawed, God forgives and loves me.� I can't forgive but blame other people and then become angry.� In time maybe I can forgive them and even myself.� I find that I want to exact revenge on
I need to pull back like the Work The System book suggest and see clearer what the root of the problem is, to be somewhat emotionally detached.
Tim told me the same thing that he didn't listen to the signs of his bad relationship.� He thought that as long as she's with me, everything is okay.� Patrick also said that his ex girlfriend
didn't look at him in the same perspective again.
One will make a decision to seek help or leave...get out of the relationship.
From the Church, this is wrong.� But N has turned her back in her previous relationship without looking back.� Her personality is like that.�
She cares about the material or regrets that the credit cards are paid off and she didn't get to enjoy the house.
She seems less caring and emotionally not available at times.
Tomorrow's the appointment with Dr. Jack.� Today, I'm feeling a little bit better.� Map wrote She said, "I generally believe things work out the way they're meant to be so don't be too stressed
out. �Everything's going to be okay. �You're probably just at a turning point in your life....maybe."� Strangly, I was angery to see that.� But later it calmed me.� There's nothing I can do.� Waldo
suggest that I can't rush Nin because she has her own time to return if she so chooses.� MJ advised me to keep my door and heart open for her return.� Hang in there and I should write to her
everyday even though she doesn't write back.� I am not to put limitation on her.� I told MJ that I don't want to play game.� MJ said that I should be open and honest.
It was a few months back, I met a nice lady who gave me a goat skin leather bible at Subway.
I started to read it Monday.� I started with Genesis.
MJ advised me to read Ephrasia for advice on marriage and relationships, forgiveness.
"People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself. But the self is not something one finds, it is something one creates." - Thomas Szasz, "Personal Conduct," The Second Sin, 1973
Don't cause pain, give pleasure.
give pleasure is speaking in the language of love
Don't cause pain is speaking in a way which does not hurt your partner.
Show your partner that she is important to you.
it was great
got to talk to T a little bit to get his perspective.
He said that it brought back a lot of memories.� His ex did the same thing to frustrate him.
Lack of Communication or the Mole problem.
Reading David Roppo's advice for communication in a relationship.� It's not learning to communicate but getting down to the root of what's causing lack of
communication.� This makes perfect sense to me and it's an idea that's echoed in Work the System book by Sam Carpenter.� In his book he talks about not wacking the mole as it comes up but get down
to the root of the problem in the underground to see what's causing the mole or problem to come up?
In my case, when I make N mad, she goes silent, gives me the silent treatment and I can't stand it.�
We are talking about obsessions which determine the gestures and perceptions of artists throughout a life's work, even when their conscious attention is elsewhere. A kind of bias of the
imagination. The way a life's work slips towards a theme which is home for that artist.
"Infancy," from Keeping A Rendezvous
"Things worthwhile generally just don't happen. Luck is a fact, but it should not be a factor. Good luck is what is leftover after intelligence and efforts have combined at
their best. Negligence or indifference or inattention are usually reviewed from an unlucky seat. The law of cause and effect and causality both work the same with inexorable exactitudes. Luck is
the residue of design." - Branch Rickey, quoted from "Little Blue Book"
I'm just depressed right now.
I don't like people leaveing me.� And one has.
"Research by Robert Emmons, a psychology professor at the UC Davis, found that people encouraged to keep 'gratitude journals' were far more satisfied with their lives than
those who weren't encouraged to accentuate the positive."
I'm thank for for the sunny weather.� I hope that N got home okay to her family and to her destination.� She is so smart and has so much potential.� Maybe being with me held
her back.� I love her so.� I really want to be with her though.� She does so much as learn so much and accomplished so much that some times I don't think I deserve her.� Now she leave me and I am
sad and feel the loss.� I'm thankful for the time that she gave to me.� and I think that she views the time as a waste and has told me so.� What happens when a marriage begins fresh and new and
full of love and then turn into bitter pain.� I will try to recount the time of sweetness.� My gratitude towards her grace and her warmth and her support and companion.
"There is only one success - to be able to spend your life in your own way." - Christopher Morley
We saw two deers strutting out in the field at work.� Beyond there is the golf course.
The other time, I walk down the Hamilton hike trail slope and couple of elk sprinted passed us.� It was a large elk.� Tim and I were startled.
Just testing out this inbox journal feature