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There is no hope in my life anymore. I am so sick of all the tears in my life. I thought that I could get over Scott, but I now relize that I am never going to be over him. Even though I am with Brandon I would die to be with Scott. My life is way too unpredictable, I never know what is going to happen. I think in my life I make way too many mistakes, and I regret too many things. I am going to have to start to learn that everything that I did was exactly what I wanted at one point, I hate the feeling if regret. I have a feeling that all of my journals are going to be sad, but that is how my life is. I am lucky if I don't cry one day a week. There are so many things to cry about in my life, there is Scott, my mom, my dad, Brandon, Mikey, Dina. And many more. I feel like I am loosing my best friend , Dina. She is replacing me with Brittany and Shannon. This sucks. Scott does not even know that I am alive anymore. He does not know how I would kill to be with him, and to just talk to him once more. We lost everything we had over some stupid fight ! I am always going to love him, I can not help that. Brandon is the nicest boyfriend I can ever have, but I never get to see him. I hate going to a different school then him. I wish I was going to Normandy so I could be with him. It does not even matter about our age difference, everyone thinks that we will never last just because he is 16. They really don't know how much we care about eachother. I am going to try and take a step back in life and figure things out. And become a happy person again. Well bye, for now....

I am not skilled to understand
What God has w illed, what God has pl anned
I only know at His right hand
Stands one who is my Savior

I take Him at His word and deed
Christ died to save me ; this I read
And in my heart I find a need
Of Him to be my savior

That He would leave His place on hig h
And come for sinful m an to die
You count it st range, so once did I
Before I knew my Savior

Chorus (2x's)
My Savior loves, My Savior lives
My Savior's always th ere for me
My God: He was , my God; He is
My God is always gonna be

Yes, living, dying, let me bring
My strength, my solac e from this spring;
That He who lives to be my King
Once died to be my Savior

That He wou ld leave His place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange , so once did I
Before I knew