I wrote down everything about what had happened, but it got deleted... Maybe it was for the best. Maybe things will get better now that I let it all out. Or maybe they will get worse. Latly everything seems to just be getting worse. School, my relationships with my friends, the thoughts, the memories. I'm not sure how to deal with it all. I know how I used to cope but... I promised him I would stop. And I will NOT break that promise! Not again... I keep telling myself that if I could just hold out a little longer things will get better but I wait, and wait, and wait, and nothing changes. Maybe there's something wrong with me. Maybe I'm just not meant to be trully happy. There are times when I start to think that I could actually be happy but then something else happens. I know crap happens to everyone but for once could the world give me a break?! for just five minutes?! I just want one day were I dont' have to worry about things going wrong. One day when I don't have those thoughts. One day were I don't have to be afraid of me having a melt down in front of my family and friends. One day. That's all I want.
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