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You searched for: Tag: Confused
    China  29, Female, Tennessee, USA - 7 entries
07
Apr 2008
9:32 PM CST
   

Afraid

i don't understand, they say never leave the one you love for the one you like but what if the one you love is leaving you for the one they like and you can't do nothing about it but cry. u know he's not coming back but u still wanna think that cause u love him u dnt kno y u love him all u kno is u love him no matta what but he dnt kno dat cause u were 2 afraid in da beginnig 2 admit how u really felt about him and now u think this culd b the end of wat ya'll had and u wanna let him kno how u felt all along but ur still afraid cuz ur thinking "either way it goes i still want have him like i thought i did" but u love him and u wanna b wit him u jus dnt want everybody 2 c dat u still want him cuz now ur afraid of wat dey mite say n u dnt have him der 2 tell u dnt worry about wat dey tawkn about u still mine. so where do u go 4rm here u wrote him a letter expression how u felt and feel but u dnt kno how 2 give him da letter without showing emotions and ur still havin 2nd thoughts about it "if i give him diz letter he still gne wanna b with her so im jus wastn mi time" dats all dats goin through ur mind everytime u think about him or da letter
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    ladylyn501  60, Female, Texas, USA - 7 entries
05
Sep 2007
11:23 AM EDT
   

KEEP THE FAITH.

Tags: CONFUSED
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    RollerCoasterLove  37, Female, California, USA - 2 entries
09
Aug 2007
4:12 PM EDT
   

Sometimes i just dont understand what ive done wrong. one day he acts like he loves me, the next he acts like i annoy him. im trying to become a better girlfriend, but hes not trying to be a better boyfriend. it doesnt help that all his friends are younger and more immature and dont have serious girlfriends to understand his situation. i think when he gets around them, he changes. into this "single" guy who doesnt give a fuck about me. im always tryna talk about our problems and tryna resolve it, but just randomly outta nowhere hell make it seem like he dont wanna try. when just yesterday he told me "i love you" "i miss you" "im thinking about you". and today i say "am i ur girlfriend" and he tells me "not really." and i say ur throwing me off telling me u love me one day and the next im not ur girlfriend. and he tells me "u threw me off when you moved out". is he tryna make me feel guilty? is he having money issues? financial problems stressing him out? and he blames me? i wanna work things out but how can i with someone whos not willing to try...instead i think to myself why dont i just walk away from all of this. just say fuck him and end it all for good... one day were okay. the next it seems like its all over. its this up and down roller coaster. ive try to change.. ive been making him dinner, avoiding issues i would usually argue about that upsets me... but i guess he doesnt see it. hes too stubborn to see where im coming from.. i kno theres a lot hes done, or hasnt done,to upset me, but im tryna see from his point of view and quitting all the "nagging", the fighting, the arguing.. im tryna do things for him to remember why he fell for me. but with him.. he just doesnt see me as something fortunate to have.. what do i do? i love him.. i dont want all this to end.. i just want everything to be okay again
1 comment(s) - 11:09 AM - 09/19/2012
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Current Tags: betrayed, boyfriend, confused, cry, girlfriend, heartbreak, hurt, lonely, lost, love, sad, tears, upset

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    nodeadends  15, Female, New York, USA - 29 entries
09
Aug 2007
9:45 AM EDT
   

Ok I have decided to see where this will take me if anywhere at all. I put an ad on C.L. A few people responded, what am I getting myself into? I kind of knew this was going to happen. Maybe Iam just experimenting I dont know. Which is why I have to do this. I see how john other's feel. He's openly gay,that shit has got to be hard. I am not gay but I still can relate. I am not bisexual either. That is according to the kinsey scale, which states no one is 100% homosexual or heterosexual. That makes me feel safe lol. I have 2 figure this out on my own. I sense that some unseen force is driving me. Perhaps it is the devil who knows. I remember when I told my N.P. that I was attracted to the same sex. Of course he denounced this idea, it goes against all christian teachings and morals. Should I keep pretending and shoving down these feelings I have. Repressing it isnt working , but I am unsure if acting out my emotions is the answer either. Latley I am consumed with crazy shit running through my mind. I should make a choice,guess I already have. Seeing that I can never be with a woman totally and openly (because i have a healthy fair of hell and the big dude)plus I aspire to get married one day. I have a little flicker of hope left. Very little, a black man is a turn off as far as having a meaningful and serious relationship. Stereotyping isnt cool but hey most of them are liars, unemployed ,dead beat dads and just full of shit.
I have been abstaining from sex. Well actually I have been running from it literally! Its not easy at all. The phone rings and it all starts, when can I come out. What's up tonight? Can I bring Jade out. Jade isnt a real person its what my ex calls the freaky side of me. He likes it when I get aggressive during sex . A few times I slapped the hell out of him, he was suprised:). He liked it ,even told his now estranged wife about it. At least he wasnt married during that time. Scooby is on some get back shit, cant do it. He wasnt man enough to tell me we were done face to face. That is a black man for ya. Damn cowards I bet he wishes I would put this on his mustache but it aint happening. Not any time soon, he is going to suffer before I fuck him. It has been year or more since i messed with him. His shit is good but it that serious, I have options. He is clearly on the rebound.
Tags: Confused
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    nodeadends  15, Female, New York, USA - 29 entries
09
Aug 2007
9:45 AM EDT
   

Ok I have decided to see where this will take me if anywhere at all. I put an ad on C.L. A few people responded, what am I getting myself into? I kind of knew this was going to happen. Maybe Iam just experimenting I dont know. Which is why I have to do this. I see how john other's feel. He's openly gay,that shit has got to be hard. I am not gay but I still can relate. I am not bisexual either. That is according to the kinsey scale, which states no one is 100% homosexual or heterosexual. That makes me feel safe lol. I have 2 figure this out on my own. I sense that some unseen force is driving me. Perhaps it is the devil who knows. I remember when I told my N.P. that I was attracted to the same sex. Of course he denounced this idea, it goes against all christian teachings and morals. Should I keep pretending and shoving down these feelings I have. Repressing it isnt working , but I am unsure if acting out my emotions is the answer either. Latley I am consumed with crazy shit running through my mind. I should make a choice,guess I already have. Seeing that I can never be with a woman totally and openly (because i have a healthy fair of hell and the big dude)plus I aspire to get married one day. I have a little flicker of hope left. Very little, a black man is a turn off as far as having a meaningful and serious relationship. Stereotyping isnt cool but hey most of them are liars, unemployed ,dead beat dads and just full of shit.
I have been abstaining from sex. Well actually I have been running from it literally! Its not easy at all. The phone rings and it all starts, when can I come out. What's up tonight? Can I bring Jade out. Jade isnt a real person its what my ex calls the freaky side of me. He likes it when I get aggressive during sex . A few times I slapped the hell out of him, he was suprised:). He liked it ,even told his now estranged wife about it. At least he wasnt married during that time. Scooby is on some get back shit, cant do it. He wasnt man enough to tell me we were done face to face. That is a black man for ya. Damn cowards I bet he wishes I would put this on his mustache but it aint happening. Not any time soon, he is going to suffer before I fuck him. It has been year or more since i messed with him. His shit is good but it that serious, I have options. He is clearly on the rebound.
Tags: Confused
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    distantgirl  57, Female, Tennessee, USA - 4 entries
10
Jul 2007
8:25 PM CDT
   

Hello,I just wanted to say hello to everyone.This is my first entry here at inbox.i'm lost a little bit but surely I will figure it all out.The reason I'm here is because for one I love to write and I needed a place I could put my thoughts and feelings.And I love meeting new people and maybe I might find a few new friends.Please feel free to drop in anytime.And if you want to know anything about me feel free to ask me and I will be glad to answer whatever it might be.hope to talk to you later.............distantgirl
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