Everything seems like illusion.
Fiction holds more reality for me than life.� Television shows and fims engage me and feel real - I can respond to them; they make me laugh and cry, they enable me to feel.� Even playing a computer game holds more connection and reality for me than life.
The time I get to spend with G is too fleeting.� The rest of the time it's like I don't exist.�
Being on my own so much really isn't good for me.
Angoisse, angoisse Mr Journal. Pas trouver de job encore. Ma blonde veut que je me consacre a un projet d'entreprise. Moi je veux travailler pour une agence mais le projet d'entreprise m'int�resse... pour cela la proposition de ma blonde : travailler dans un club vid�o � temps partiel en attendend de bien vivre de mon entreprise. Est-ce que j'ai assez de discipline pour cela... je me le demande bien. Aujoud'hui j'ai travailler sur mon site web, je me suis dit tant qu'a travailler dessus pourquoi ne pas le faire comme si cela �tait mon entreprise. Le r�sultat est bien. J'ai choisi le couleur sur COLOURLover un site que j'aime bien pour les couleur. J''ai aussi prit un template pour commencer, un template de floriste... et j'ai tout m�t � l'envers... mais c'est beau et je suis fi�re de mon coup. Ensuite j'ai fait la commande, au lieu d'aller dans un IGA j'ai �t� dans un M�tro... plus loin j'ai marcher avec mon sac � dos rempli de canne et de 3 2L de pepsi Diet (sp�cial 3 pour 5$). J'ai aussi choisi ce matin 3 �tude de cas que je metterais dans mon portfolio... j'esp�re les continuer demain. Apr�s la commande ma blonde m'attendait... elle est dans ces SPM elle est donc un peut plus h�ritable. Elle �tait f�cher car j'avais oublier le Yougourt et des bars tendres... ah oui, et j'ai achet� des pommes comme fruit (trop conservateur pour elle)... heureusement j'ai re�u des ch�que de TPS de plus ce qui me permettra de souffler un peut... car j'ai d�pass� la marge de ma carte de cr�dit en achetant ma tablette graphique wacom blutooth qui en passant ne marche m�me pas... en plus que la tablette ne marche pas... les deux adapteurs blue tooth ne s'installe pas avec Windows XP SP2... j'ai passer la fin de semaine a essayer de faire marcher cette maudite tablette. Je l'ai rapporter au magasin et il faut qu'il la teste et j'esp�re qui vont me l'�changer pour une tablette USB... J'ai aussi pendant ma fin semaine �t� voir une autre �glise... l'�glise Universaliste... tr�s int�ressant... j'ai rencontrer les responsable de la partie francophone de cette �glise de Montr�al il sont tr�s gentil. Je crois que je vais rester dans cette �glise... les gens sont tr�s gentil et de tr�s bonne �ducation. Je suis rester assis avec un Monsieur qui marchait � l'aide d'une marchette et j'ai parler de cette �glise... il me semble plut�t Ath� � l'os... mais il est sympatique... il m'a dit que cette �glise ne me dira pas qu'elle va me sauver... au contraire... elle n'impose pas de dogme... ce qui est bien... elle favorise aussi la libert� de pens�... bref je suis un peut fatiguer... je dois dormir pour continuer les chose que je veux faire.
修鞋老人的事业
�
�� 今天下午,回家的路上, 天下起了小雨. 我路过一个修鞋摊, 修鞋师傅是位60多岁的老人， 显然受天气的影响，生意不好做，老人坐在小雨中，呆望着路人的鞋子。这眼神驱使我返转回来，我轻声地问：“师傅,可不可以把我的新鞋贴个后跟”，老人说：“可以。” 我问：“要多少钱？”他回答：“5元。”我坐在小板凳上，看着老人按照标准工作程序操作这五元的生意。
1）� 选料：老人认真地选了一块皮子，并告诉我，这皮子很牢。
2）� 打磨：用锉子把鞋跟和剪好的皮子都打成毛面。
3）� 上胶：用万能胶粘贴鞋跟。
4）� 补洞：用一种黑色胶末放在小洞上，点上万能胶，再抹平洞口。
5）� 成型：用刀把鞋跟修得圆滑妥帖。
� 在他一丝不苟地完成这5道程序后，我看了看表，至少用了十五分钟。我穿上鞋子并向老人道谢。
�� 我问老人生意景不景气？老人说， 每天收入不一定，一般每天能挣几十块钱，很少有机会能挣到100元。时代不同了，现在年轻人穿坏的鞋子一丢了事，经济条件好的人也都不修鞋了。
�� 十几年风吹日晒的修鞋生涯让老人的头发掉光了,脸成了古铜色的，腰弯了，双手粗燥，指甲是扁的。可老人充满执着的眼神告诉我：不管天气怎样变，人都应该认真地活着。
There's sumthing arent dat easy...
a female close girl fren is hard to get...
but a same birthday close fren is harder...
mayb it's fate to leave me n her together...
juz mayb.....but i oso wan to b a part of ur life...
i really do...
there isn't anything i can do....
juz to let u choose ur own fren....
i respect u...born on the same day brings a lot of commons...
i actually liked it...n appreciate it..
hope u do the same...
all the best....i'll b here waiting for u...
(15/4/2008)
anything u nid or wan...i willingly do it for u...^^ n oso for my dear little 23~
谈谈更年期
�� 敦敦觉得我最近没太有耐心， 嗓门也大了点, 建议我花些文字，探讨一下更年期的问题。为了表明他的动机，他用了一个很感性的比喻, “妈妈，您被困在更年期的石头里了, 我刚好在这石头底下” (Ma Ma: you incased inside rock (menopausal syndrome), and I am right underneath you). 。听孩子这样讲，我很感动，因为孩子至少是站在同情的立场上。
� 更年期是妇女们一生中感到尴尬的一个阶段，由于自己的医学背景，我从不忌讳同敦敦谈论更年期的问题，我希望家里人能理解女性的各种生理变化， 我不指望同情，但求家里的两个男人能尽量的理解。
�� 敦敦曾经自己上网查找相关信息，(How does a Pre-teen survive with his menopausal mother), 流览过后觉得确实有很多人跟他同病相怜，可贵的是他觉得妈妈也同样可怜, 因为妈妈并不意识到自己的情绪跟以前有所不同， 他还照方抓药地学了几招，妈妈您穿这件衣服不错 看起来挺青春的， 还有您的小辫子发式确实领导新潮流。你还别说，孩子的好意还真给他老妈提神。
� ‘更’不‘更’不重要，重要的是大家都意识到问题的存在，因为当大家都站在高处的时候，水自然会从我们脚下欢畅地流过。
i am determined now and nothing will get in my way nothing,im determined to live life,enjoy life and be happy i dont care anymore about the obstacles that are terying to get in my way,i will have positive faith positive outlook on life and get through the obstacles by plowing them down one at a time,i have had enough i think my rash is not just nerves it might well be poison oak or ivy from the woods at� any rate it is starting to heal and im staryting to feel better i had a terrific weekend,cooked cleaned had a terrific dinner of baked chicken homade potato salad french cut green beens mashed potatos ummm it was yummy,my cat and i watched part of an officer and a gentleman until i feel asleep,but i acomplished alot so today im determined to acomplish more hope you feel the same take care,
Seems liks it juz u n me....
Happened so much lately between..
happy moments r increasing..
i'm sry for being mad at u today...i was just worried...
hope dat u don blame me^^
stay happie o..
(13/4/2008)
remember the time when we�were together...and hope for coming ones..
I thought the title for this was perfect because Magic and I are '2 Peas in a Pod'.� Why you say?� Because Magic was diagnosed with DM, which is similar to MS in humans.� I have been diagnosed with MS for almost 2 years.� Magic was diagnosed towards the end of last year with DM, and that was only because I changed vets because I was HIGHLY irritated with my last Vet!
My last Vet had all new people working for her, and no regular people worked for her any longer.� When I had taken Magic in to have a Grade 3 Cancerous Tumor removed last year (which she didn't want to remove right away, just told me to 'keep and eye on it').�
So when I went to pick Magic up from the Vet's office, it took A LONG TIME for a staff member to bring her up from the basement.� And when the staff memeber had brought her up from the basement, she smelled of urine HIGHLY!!!� That is not something I willing to stand for!!� Yes, Magic does have SA (Separation Anxiety) and will pee/poop in her kennel/crate when no one is with her).� While I was waiting for her, I could here her barking in the basement.�
When I had Magic to this Vet's office to have Magic's dental done, Magic had soiled in her kennel, but the staff�bathed her and then kept her upstairs with them until I arrived to pick her up.
So to keep this short, after picking up Magic from the Vet's Office, I went on a journey to find a new Vet.� And I am PROUD TO SAY THAT I NOW HAVE A NEW VET'S OFFICE that came HIGHLY recommended by others that live in the Kenosha/Racine Area!!!� I do not think that I will be changing Vets anytime soon ;)
I guess I did, didn't I?
I didn't write yesterday due to the obscene amount of work I had to do for school. That didn't stop me, however, from starting and finishing a 563 page book. It was a good one.
And now I must address an issue that has been bugging me a little the last few days. It's about Twilight (I swear I'm not obsessed. Honestly.). This will sound ridiculous. I am aware of that. That's ok, though. Well. You see.... Hmm. I don't quite know how to start. Several of my friends and very many people in the student body have read Twilight. They all seem to have one thing in common--They all. Love. Edward. To a ridiculous degree. I understand to a point. I mean, in the book, he is virtually flawless. A guy most girls wouldn't pretend to fantasize about even in their wildest dreams. That is all right, I guess. But--and this is the big thing--more than one of them seem to think that he exists. And is indeed watching them as they sleep (creepy, eh? It's awesome�). I would be among them. I really would. Rewind a few months and I would be discussing how I swear I saw a shadow outside my window this morning. But now... I don't know why it bothers me so much. I was planning on writing this whole long paragraph on how immature they all are, but then I realised... If I let myself, I would be doing the exact same thing as them. Obsessing, I mean. It's kind of as if the person I'm going to be as an adult has started appearing and is trying to elbow the person I was as a kid out of the way. Since I act (as of right now) predominantly with the child side, it makes life very hard to have an uncaring adult inside you, whispering "That isn't possible. Stop acting so immature and start being a Big Girl." It hurts a lot sometimes, because a lot of the time I really do wish for all the stuff I did when I was little (spells, princes, all manner of magical creatures. All kinds, always. I loved them all.), and that sets up a huge conflict with what people expect a 15-year-old to want.
I will continue to write later. One last thing, though. I am listening to just about the sweetest song ever. It's called Lullabye (Goodnight, My Angel) by Billy Joel. That's my recommendation for the day. LOVE BILLY JOEL!
~Annabel
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