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first off all i am very very confused. It's this really cute boy in my class that i really adore. He's funny n cute n keeps me smilin from one end of my face to the other.

Today our skool went on a trip , but like ten of us didnt go. we had to go to another class that just so borin. i kept lukin at him cuz he's just really cute n talked al little that made me feel really gud

but other's days before May,20.2009 he really dont talk to me. He talk to my bestfriend but never talk to me. I mean he'll say sumthin 2 me every once in a while but not lik he talk to my best friend. Sumtimes i wonder well maybe he lik her. I already kno he lik me but i wonder if i should say use to lik me . i wonder if i should tell him that i lik him but this is startin to get me cunfused but also i think he just dont want anyone to kno he lik me

Mz.Qura

Very Confused about M_C_A_l

tell me wat u should do contact me pleeeeeeeeezzzzzzzze

Regular workout.� Day pretty much same as usual until I crashed my bicycle on the ride home and went head first over a picket fence.� A bit scraped but nothing serious.

well i guess he does know b/c of....

of you chelsea irenee fisher!

RAWR!

next time b4 saying anything like that

make sure he isn't behind you.

�

but now i know he knows i still love him <3

does he love me back thats the question

that haunts me hahahaha <3

Perfect Illusion
�

Part 1:

They torment me,
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Inside my home,
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Never being anything,
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Except truly alone.
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Feeling the weight,
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Put me under pressure,
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Hating to let go,
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Of life’s easy pleasures.
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Of course they don’t know me,
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The one who soul,
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Still bleeds…
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�

Part 2:
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Why?
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People have lied all my life,
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They have left me with so many questions and two little answers.
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Begging to hold on to happiness,
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Pleading to let go.
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I have no simple ery,
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No place to go.
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They see me smile,
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But do not se the scars,
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From when I was but a mere child.
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They wonder why I act so happy,
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But most of my family,
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Can see the brokenness inside.
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I am chocking on my words.
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And loosing it all too quick,
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Now’s not the time,
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To play any tricks.
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Part 3:
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I stand,
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Leaning over,
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The sink.
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Taking a good look,
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At the image Staring back at me.
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Holding my self up.
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As I begin to bleed.
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This blood is shed,
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This blood is lost.
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This is my escape from death.
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I stare up into the sky.
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Wanting so much to be apart of it.
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Never knowing what part I’m left with.

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Part 4:
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Listening the others around,
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They do notice me,
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But they don’t know,
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How often I’ve fallen to the ground.
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I fight to many wars inside,
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To keep the happiness alive.
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I jump from,
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One emotion to the next.
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They can’t see,
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The hurt that hides inside my chest.
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Looking deep into my thoughts.
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Breaking down,
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When ever thoughts,
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Of my father cross.
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Part 5:
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He never meant to hurt me,
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Or at least he says so…
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He’ll always says,
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“I’ll protect you from pain,”
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But the only pain I feel,
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Is the pain that he parades.
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Cracking in my voice,
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I try not to speak.
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Everything,
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Just makes me feel so weak.
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Hating what I’ve become,
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Falling into the numb.

�

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Part 6:
I’m feeling too banged up,
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This emotion stuck in my gut.
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He’s holding me closely,
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And promises t will be ok.
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He’s to innocent for me,
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To dance the days away
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�

I ask him from something,
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He thinks I need a better way,
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But I demand,
So he gives it to me anyway.
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Just six hits,
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That’s all it’ll take,
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Just six hits,
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And I won’t have to break.
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I feel so dizzy,
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My mind flows into the party.
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�

I can barely grasp what’s happening,
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Yet I’m laughing hysterically.
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If the world moves too fast,
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I beg it to slow down,
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As I fall to the ground.
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I don’t notice I’m falling,
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Until I start to bleed.
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Hating my self,
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Because the world hates me.
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Part 7:
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Picking up the lighter,
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And a pack of menthols,
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No one sees me better,
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Compared to this,
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No one at all.
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Chocking one down after another,
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No one sees but me.
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Laughing at the intimate.
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Hacking at the porn.
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Taking it all in,
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And finally blowing out.
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This is the one thing,
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I’ll never really doubt.
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Getting pissed at the world,
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No one knew what I could do,
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No one except me,
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And now you.
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���
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Part 8:
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See I’m the perfect illusion,
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I get good grades,
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I hide the pain,
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I keep my other life secret,
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And I don’t talk of the streets.
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Now you can see,
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Five minutes in the life of me.
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Still haven't managed to get my 30 day picture but since my weight seems frozen regardless of diet and exercise I'm not certain how much discernable change would be visible in a picture.

Hoping to get out on a lunch ride today as it is cool and clear today.� Perfect weather for it.

What if

��� what if your best guy friend is gay and you fall in love with him and he will never love you back in the same way?

��� what if all the poor become rich and the rich become poor?

��� what if girls can't get pregnant and guys can?

�� what if the world stops sninning and instead�it bounces up and down?

� what if everything will change and there is nothing to help that?

��� what if there is no doctors and we all get sick and there is noone to help?

��� what if people can't die, would we become very old and really sick and you have to live like that forever?

�� what if the world over populates?

�� what if there is no such thing as love and no such things as friends and families?

�� what if we were a lie to this universe?

�� what if we will never touch the ground again b/c there is no gravity?

��� what if?

i know this random

but i was really bored....

I have so many options. I could go completely gay, or be a nun, or become a hermit. I'm sick of having to deal with people. None of them know shit!