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chanduliar 45, Female, Texas, USA - 16 entries

Dec 2006
5:18 PM CST

Yea ... I now it Carli ,then it was Chad, then before that it was michelle. I have never been your main concern. Oh school ... that was first which I accepted then but why you go if you don't want to wor? YOU could of been there. You break promises... you say one thing do another!! I hate broken words of promise. I understand what is done is done. with you school/working choices that doesn't mean that it doesn't affect us. Or that they still do. Yes I am bitter angry mad really a completely differnt person now. YOU and TOBEY did this to me. I have no trust in anyone. I not going to talk to anyone, and nobody is who they are. This is me and this is how I feel. The club has had it days on me also. Which you can't even fathem the shit I seen and been through. I don't get you when you say you want to talk to tobey in jail. That your tring to understand? Well IT kinda late why didn't you do tis when there was a chance to change and save or what ever..... back then!! I don't get it when you can know every thing bout your friends and your club yet haven't taken that same effort into us. It like you just throu your hands up in the air on us and gave up. I know you know people who did this and how is makes you feel, hmmmmm..... I wonder I I feel When evryone has done this to me and now it is starting with Carli, YOu know I was stuck in TAmpa Last weekend Cause this fuking Docter boyfriend I thought was going to be really good for us instead ended up being one of the most meanest...unrespectful .... thought he was going to fukin rape me in downtown tampa cause he was druck or whatever his excuse was ... I ws stuck ther mom with nobody to call in an airport that I had to talk the driver into taken me there for fre cause I have no wallet or ID. NOW YOU DEAL WITH THAT, YOU just don't get it mom. YOU will never get it. I know you try some days, but ther are also other days. I was at work listing to my bosses wife talk about taken care of herself for her family and all this stuff... This is coming from a very sweet lady that make a million dollors if she get out of bed or not. Then she said something that made me stop drawing.... NEVER EMOTIONALY TIE YOUR FUTURE TO SOMEONE ELSES LACK OF ACTIONS!!!. I a a ah'ha moment. That what I been doing this whole time. DUH... and now I am hurt ia m suffing in everyway. People take my AC unit, I was being nice. The love of my life destroyed my dream of anything normal family life. Family and friend you get close to screw you over the best or leave, w/o thought. I never even seen it coming. People just have used me to the point to wear I only live for carli and me. Some days that hard. Who would of thought I be like this. people see the change in me and wonder why? Well .... they don't really fuking care they just act like they do do they can talk at you or about you. Even you have said thing I remeber to the excat word and where that hurt. This kandice thing ya'll are such BFF What ta hell is that about? Where was my BFF invite. OH yea I never got one cause of being being worried about everyone else. You said I wish my girls were more like her. Well I can bet she would be her if she went throu thease wonderful sentive emotions we have. You know everything about her and her friend and you hang w/o judgment and to me is fuck up. She is very nice but you asked so deal with it. I remeber your face when you told me allllll about her and how ou were. Happy you had a friend. I saw that but... I never seen that in you cause of or michelle. I see it w/ carli. Hell It was hard enough to get you to even belive in me on anything I do or did or wanted to do. I do think you dont even see me anymore. I wonder why you even got a myspace pace if you weren't going to check the blogs or post? what ta point. Temerarly get focus then that not your focus anymore. Just everything I ever know and who and emotions and people and everything in this word to me currently is just smoke and mirriors. It hard to understand your self when that what you see. monkey see monkey do. I refuse to raise carli in that manner. Yea I have an extrem amount of anger and resinment and the depth of hurt is unbelivable you can even see the bottem it is so deep. but Hey now you got something to think about. Crystal Light ... Cause my boss said I am in a new industry and I have to change my name. Kinda funny I thought. ?Where is that light? I thought Then I thought oh yea it behind ta mirrior.

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speedking 36, Male, California, USA - 20 entries

Dec 2006
4:14 PM PDT

To seek the acceptance of others would first take work because you would have to figure out who you really are as a person before you get the acceptance of others you need to accept yourself as a person before anyone. The best way to do that is by knowing your actions and how you deal with certain situations with people or just any situtation you are encountered because the way you react to certain things people will see you for what they see. No one should act differently from whom they are because God made each and everyone in a unique way and you should not have to be someone else to be accepted you should never be the follower but the leader and have people follow you, be able to trust yourself as a person and accept who you are and not who you are trying to be because then you are just living someone else's life and not yours.

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storminorma 64, Female, Florida, USA - 34 entries

Dec 2006
5:26 AM EDT

I guess Elizabeth, if you say so. I have endured quite a bit of hardship, and it was not always due to my indecision..sometimes we have no control over situations that cause us hardships, sometimes it's God's will..I'll admit to being somewhat ignorant as to which was which at any given time. But it's not always OUR decisions.."Thy will, not mine be done."..sound familiar?

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AguilarBaby 47, Female, Washington, USA - 50 entries

Dec 2006
12:48 PM PST

Well we finally got power today at 2:00am. We immediately took a bath and turned on our heaters so we are back in business. We slept most of the day and I am sure that was your way of telling me that it is now time to relax b/c I need to grow. So we did. We also cleaned up everything and put everything back in it's place to get our lives back in order. Well we have to go to work tomorrow so we will talk to you later. Love Mom & Dad

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justjeff 60, Male, North Carolina, USA - 22 entries

Dec 2006
3:56 AM EDT

Saturday, Dec 16, 2006. After leaving the office on Saturday AM, I called one of my closest friends, Scott. I needed to get some input from him about my boyfriend, Wade. Scott was an excellent listener and had some excellent insight to the situation and me personally. He really helped put things in perspective, which caused me to feel I needed to ask a few questions from Wade and let him know the error of my ways, as well. I drove over to his place and he was out in the yard setting up for a yard sale. He immedieately came over to the car and hugged me. We had an excellent talk. Afterwards, I went and got coffee for Faye (his housemate) and for us. We sat on the porch in the AM sun, playing Crazy 8's. When leaving, Wade gave me the biggest hug and sweetest kiss. It feels so right being hugged by him. I care for this dude so much. I feel so vulnerable with my feelings toward him. UGH!! This is all so new to me!!! After leaving...I came home and fixed breakfast for Elliot and James. James was so sweet and had given Elliot flowers. I went on and on about them. Afterward Breakfast, Elliot took James home and I crocheted a bit before falling asleep in the recliner. I'm making a blanket for Elliot, for XMAS. It's really nice. I hope he will be surprised.

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x3ncroyle1236x3 37, Female, Pennsylvania, USA - 33 entries

Dec 2006
3:26 PM EDT

ok... so Nick has to go for freaking test on his ribs... : ( Doug is having surgery on january 7.... who is next. i feel really tied and sick... but i am hanging in there, i guess.. but i get really frustrated in health class, cuz we are talking about tumors and all in class, and everyone in the class that nos about my mom, and my broth4er they all look over at me... i felt like dieing on Friday well i am out so later nicole leah

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Ashli 34, Female, California, USA - 24 entries

Dec 2006
2:27 PM EDT

Ive been writing this story. I plan on making it a book when it is finished. Im not exactly sure where i am going with the story but everyday i come up with something new and i go from there. I went onto photobucket for picture of anime to use as my characters or something thats like them. I like to write cause t helps me concentrate and it makes me feel better. i feel relaxed and calm when i write. My friends say that my story is very interesting and they really lke it so that makes me happy. Later on i might post parts of my story on here so if someone wants to read it they can.

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1 comment(s) - 10:48 PM - 12/17/2006

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Mondragon 50, Male, California, USA - 18 entries

Dec 2006
11:06 AM EDT

why does people have a enduranceand their frequently a form of indecision becase they are people that have a dicision and there ia another people that dont have a great dicion.

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Ashli 34, Female, California, USA - 24 entries

Dec 2006
10:35 PM EDT

I got my girlfriend a christmas present and im really scared that she wont like it...i hope that she likes it...its a really pretty pair os earrings and a matching necklace...

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storminorma 64, Female, Florida, USA - 34 entries

Dec 2006
7:44 AM EDT

A mother... although times were extremely difficult for us both, she has become an accomplished determined young woman...also my ability to keep my faith which has been the only thing that has held me together through the storms of life at times..gratefulness to people who have helped me along the way..

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