My Book Of Life

13

Sep 2007
8:11 AM EDT

Hi Long TIme No Talk :D :<
U Know Sum Of The Pain Is Going away :<
Im In Even More Pain Sumtimes
He Has A Girlfriend :..(
If Only I COuld Tell My Heart TO Stop Thinking About Him
My Mind Has ITs Mind Set But My HEart Doesnt
Y God Y Does It Have To Be HIm!!!
These Tears Dont Stop
Im Still In Pain And I Cant Take IT Away:(
Well U Know I Said Id Forget About HIm
Ill Try My Best :)

Now Another Thing Thats A Problem In my Life Is My Parents Fights :(
They Are Always Fighting Not Always But Most Of The TIme
I Cant Stand It
Im Scared They Might Divorce Sumtime :.(
I Wish Everything was like b4 But The Past Is The Past
I Always Wanted Parents To Cum Up To Me And Say How Was Skool
Or Y R U Mad Y R U Sad Do u Want To Talk About It R U OK??
They Just Watch Me Dont Do Nothing Y Cant They Talk TO Me
Like Parents In Tv Do
I Wont Make That Mistake With My Kids :)
i Wont Bcuz My Parents Mistake Wont Be Made Again By Me
Theyll Be The Past
Yeah Riight :D

Well Guess What I MAde It Through Six Grade And I Am Now A Toilet Washer Lol Or
A Seventh Grader Im Not A Scrub!!! :D Yay!!
i Met diffrent People Im Hoping TO Meet More People Now
This Is Berly The begging Right :D
Im Happy Hey I Talked to Anthony Again :)
He Sat NExt to Me In Art Class And Rafa sat Next To Him
THey Are Really Kool
Idk Y My Friends Hate Rafa He Is Really A Kool Guy
Anthony Was Always Bugging Me like Hitting my Leg
We Are Still Friends Again I Guess
We Stopped Talking For Awhile
But Now We Talk Alittle More
Yeah So Thats All Thats Happen

So Il Write To u LAter Ok Laterz :D

20

Aug 2007
7:27 PM EDT

hey long time no talk wats up
srry i havent wrote on this thingy magigar but i was to lazy
well yesterday was super duper fun
we went to the beach
and i loved it
i love the ocean its the best
well let me c what else can i say ummmmmmmm :s
not much has happened i just cut my hair and its short umm
and i thinks thats about it talk to u later bye luv you journal
XOXO
:DKaryna:D

10

Aug 2007
6:12 PM EDT

Ok Let Me Tell U A STory Of A Girl And A Boy
Lets Call the gurl miss A and the boy mr.B
Mr.b was A Tall handsome guy but has had many gurls in his past
Miss A met Mr B at a party and fell in love with him
but even though miss A doesnt see him often she luvs him alot!!!!!!!
but miss A has never talked to mr B
And Miss A Wants To Tell Mr B How Much He Means to mIss A
But At The Same Time Miss A Doesnt bcuz She Is Scared Of Getting Hurt And Getting Rejected
And... One Day Miss A Found Out Dat Mr B Had A g/f
Miss A Got Really HUrt
But Miss A Still Luvs Him
And mr B Stiil Doesnt Know

04

Aug 2007
9:08 PM EDT

ITS BEEN HARD THESE PAST FEW DAYS
IT WAS REALLY HARD TO MAKE THIS DECSION
BUT I HAVE TO MAKE THIS DECSION FOR MY OWN GOOD RIIGHT
CUZ I DONT WANT TO BE IN PAIN NO MORE
SO ILL SMILE MY WAY THRU I CANT BELIEVE IM GONNA SAY THIS BUT
"IM GONNA LET GO OF OMAR"
..................................................................
T-T ITS FOR THE BESTAND IM JUST GONNA SMILE AND BE HAPPY
I ALSO WONDER IS THIS THE RIIGHT THING TO DO
HE HAS BEEN THE STRONGEST LUV I EVER FELT
:D ILL SMILE ON THE OUTSIDE AND CRY ON THE INSIDE T-T
I DONT KNOW WHY BUT I GOT SAD WHEN HE DIDNT REPLY TO MY MESSEGE IDK Y? IM SO DUMB RIIGHT :D :(
SO I SAID IT
HE HAS TO BECOME MY PAST RIGHT!!!!!!! :( T-T

31

Jul 2007
9:08 PM EDT

HEY LONG TIME NO TALK
WELL I THINK ALOT HAS HAPPEND OVER MYSPACE
BCUZ HE FINALLY APPROVED ME
AND BY HIM I MEAN OMAR :D IM SO HAPPY
HE ALSO SEND ME A MESSEGE YAH!!!
WELL WHAT ELSE DO I SAY NOT MUCH HAS HAPPENED
U KNOW IM ALSO SCARED FOR ONE REASON
BRENDA IS THE REASON TO TELL U THE TRUTH I ENVIED HER GROWING UP
SHE WAS ALWAYS THE CENTER OF ATTENTION AND I FELT LIKE AN OUTCAST
AROUND HER
AND NOW I FEEL LIKE SHE IS STEALING MY SPORT U KNOW I SHOULDNT BE LIKE THIS BUT I CANT HELP IT
I TRY TO NOT THINK LIKE THIS BUT I JUST CANT HELP IT U KNOW
IM JUST SO STRESSED THESE PAST FEW DAYS I FEEL LIKE THE WORLD IS ON MY SHOULDERS FOR SOME WEIRD REASON
I WISH I CAN BE MORE OPEN TO BRENDA LIKE SHE IS TO ME BUT IM NOT THAT KIND OF PERSON
IM A PERSON WHO KEEPS THINGS TO MYSELF
IVE LIED TO HER SOMETIMES BUT I WSH I CAN TELL HER THE TRUTH BCUZ SHE HAS BEEN MY BFF EVER SINCE I WAS A KID AND I HOPE I WILL SOMEDAY
U KNOW IVE BEEN THINKING TO MYSELF
SHULD I JUST LET HIM GO???
U KNOW I THINK IVE LIKED HIM FOR 3 YEARS AND I STILL DO BUT ............................
Y...............IS..........IT.......SO.........PAINFUL??????
I WILL MEET DIFFRENT PEOPLE IN MY LIFE BUT WEN I SAY I SAY I WILL LET HIM GO I LAUGH AND SAY ITS IMPOSSIBLE
I JUST WONDER AND ASK GOD Y HIM Y HIM Y HIM Y HIM Y HIM Y HIM Y HIM Y HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
T-T I JUST WANT TO TELL HIM HOW I FEEL ONCE I DO THAT
THE WORLD WILL BE OFF MY SHOULDER
BUT WAITING FOR THAT DAY IS LIKE WAITING FOR RAIN TO FALL IN THIS SEASON
USELESS AND DISAPPOINTING T-T
ID GIVE IT AL TO CHANGE THE WAY THE WORLD GOES ROUND I WOULD...............
A SONG THAT DESCRIBES EXACTLY HOW I FEEL IS CALLED CRUSHED BY ROSETTE
IM CRUSHED BY THE SWEETEST LIPS I NEVER KISSED
THESE ARE THE LYRICS IM JUST WRITING THEM SO I WONT FOR GET THEM

I told myself today was gonna be the day
No more excuses 'cuz I knew exactly what to say
Was gonna make my play but just like yesterday
My mind in waste and I let the moment slip away
Another night got me sitting here all on my own
Picking up the phone,
But i can't get past the dial tone
Rocking my brain
Going insane
Again and again
I can't keep going this way

[CHORUS]
CRUSHED,
By the sweetest lips ive never kissed
How you bring the tips and the warmest touch Ive always missed
CRUSHED,
By the softest hands ive never held
Probably never tell,
You're the strongest love that Ive ever felt
CRUSHED,
That I havent ever let you know
How it always goes
Cuz I lose my nerve whenever you get close
And so Im left,
Short of breath
With that heavy feeling in my chest
Baby Im so crushed

So I told myself that tomorrow gonna be the day
And I keep on telling myself that Im gonna find a way
And I wont be afraid just like yesterday
Wont walk away never gonna let another chance slip away
Cuz' I gotta know which ever way its gonna go
Rest my heart and soul
Cuz' there can never be no more
Rocking my brain
Going insane
Again and again
I wont keep going this way

[CHORUS]
CRUSHED,
By the sweetest lips ive never kissed
How you bring the tips and the warmest touch Ive always missed
CRUSHED,
By the softest hands ive never held
Probably never tell,
You're the strongest love that Ive ever felt
CRUSHED,
That I havent ever let you know
How it always goes
Cuz I lose my nerve whenever you get close
And so Im left,
Short of breath
With that heavy feeling in my chest
Baby Im so crushed

Crushing,
Im so into to you
Dont know what Im gonna do
Gotta find a way to you
I don't know just what to do
Crushing,
Im so into to you
Dont know what Im gonna do
Gotta find a way to youuu
Ohhhh Imm
Crushing,
Im so into you
Dont know what Im gonna do
Gotta find a way to Youuuuuuu Ohohohhhh
And so Im left,
Short of breath
With that heavy feeling in my chest
Baby I'm so
Cruuuushed

ITS TRUE IM CRUSHED :<

24

Jul 2007
8:36 PM EDT

today was pretty fun
me brenda javi and cervando played tennis
it was cool but i rAN OUT OF TENNIS BALLS I ONLY HAVE ONE LEFT
AFTER WE STOPPED WE WERE JUST TALKING I LIKE IT WEN WE JUST TALK AS FRIENDS IS PRETTY COOL AND FUN AND FUNNY TOO U KNOW
OMAR HASNT ADDED ME AS A FRIEND CUZ HE HASNT BEN ONLINE THAT SUCK HUH WELL G2G IM SEEING RM 401 YEAH OK BYE

21

Jul 2007
9:55 PM EDT

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I FRIEND REQUESTED OMAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HE HAS A MYSPACE OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG I LOVE YOU GOD THANK U OMG IM SUPER HAPPY LIKE SUPER HAPPY IM SCREAMING HOPEFULLY HE APPROVES IT
I HAVE TO WAIT TILL TOMORROW OR SOME OTHER DAY I HOPE HE DOES IM THE HAPPIEST PERSON ON EARTH RIIGHT NOW LIKE OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG
I HAVE TO GO IM TO HAPPY TO WRITE NO MORE
OK BYE TOOTLES

1 comment(s) - 06:48 PM - 07/26/2007

20

Jul 2007
8:36 PM EDT

OMG HELLO WHATS UP AGAIN I SWEAR IM IN SERIOUS PAIN RIIGHT NOW
MY TOE PINKY OF MY LEFT FOOT HURTS LIKE HELL
I FEEL LIKE ITS BROKEN BUT SERIOUSLY IT HURTS ALOT
AS USUAL TODAY I STAYED HOME CUZ I WASNT IN THE MOD FOR COMING OUTSIDE
I HAVE TO GO IM NOT IN THE MOOD FOR WRITING IM IN PAIN I HOPE THAT TOMORROW MY PINKY FEELS BETTER
BYE

19

Jul 2007
6:42 PM EDT

hey wass up well 2day i just stayed at home b-cuz i didnt feel like coming outside
well im not that sore no more my legs just hurt and im just bored.
i made three new desgns my favorites are the three new ones cool huh
i really want to grow up and be a fashion designer
it my dream and i am gonna fufill it i have to finish my dreams
i still have a long rode ahead but i know im gonna accomplish my dream i just know it
well anyways what else can i say. ohhh ohhh ohhh u know im still wondering
what's better reality or fantasy???
well im still not sure b-cuz i havent lived my fantasy life as reality
but im waiting for that day to come cuz i really want to find out
i dont want to be left wondering all of this for a long time
i want to figure it out and i will someday
right now im wondering what is he aka omar thinking of right now or what is he doing
Is He thinking of me???
i wonder all of these things and cant find the answer
hey on saturday the family is going to alex's house and im gonna check if he has a
myspace cuz alex told me he supposably went on myspace but im not sure
but ill be super duper happy if he does ill be really but really happy
U know.............................. Does he love me????? Does he ever think of me??
Why cant i just freeze time or read his mind and ill find out??
i want to built a time machine and go back to the past
i wonder is he really the one.........................................
why him all my luv for him causes me pain and im scared
im scared of faceing reality im really scared
i wish i was diffrent at some times
but i like my self and then i dont
when i walk out of that door i wish he could say dont go I LOVE YOU and then pull me into his arms
thats my dream i at least want to talk to him
do u know listening to the song when you are gone by avril lavigne it makes me think
of him and i laugh but im in pain
if only he knew the pain he causes me people think im ok but they havent seen me deep down inside im in pain i suffer im scared i just want someone to hold me in their arems and say everything is gonna be ok dont worry im here for you I LOVE YOU
but i know that is just my fantasy world. and who knows this may become reality or will stay just my fantatsy T-T

18

Jul 2007
8:55 PM EDT

first of all im like super sore riight now i cant even move my body hurts so much
today i went with brenda to go get money for the tennis team we went to ask restuaants
but no one gave us money she lost 2 dollars and couldnt find them but wen we were coming home i felt like my legs were about to pop or rip out like they hurt like hell and i am sore and i fucken hate servando riight now cuz he is all like uuuu jay likes karyna
and its getting in my fucken nerves I DONT LIKE JAY AND I WILL NEVER LIKE HIM MY HEART ONLY BELONGS TO ONE PERSON WHICH IS OMAR!!!!!! I LOVE OMAR!!!!!!!!!!
FUCK IM BORED AND SORE I FEEL LIKE JUST FUCKEN IDK LOL. I ALSO PLAYED TENNIS AND BRENDA BEAT ME LIKE WTF I HAVE TO IMPROVE AND SHOW HER WHAT IM MADE OF. SO WHAT ELSE CAN I SAY . WELL IM WATCHING GHOST HUNTER NOW AND TALKING TO NICKY. I HOPE TOMORROW ITS BETTER IF ITS NOT IM NOT GOING OUTSIDE FUCK THAT I M GETTING FUCKEN TIRED OF SERVANDO AND HAVI AND JAY . U KNOW I THOUGHT HAVI WAS DIFFRENT U KNOW BUT ANYWAYS I LOVE OMAR I LOVE MY WATERMELON. HAHAHA I NAMED HIM LIKE THAT B-CUZ HE IS ALWAYS EATING WATERMELON LOL WELL I G2G OK BYE LUV YA

12

Jul 2007
7:30 PM EDT

I HAD ANOTHER DREAM ABOUT HIM AGAIN.BUT THIS TIME WE WERE AT THE BEACH IN A STORMY DAY WITH THE WHOLE FAMILY.IT WAS KINDA AKWARD.ME AND CECI WERE IN THE BEACH SWIMMING.AND THEN HE CAME AND STARED AT ME. WE DECIDED TO GET OUT OF THE OCEAN AND GET DRESSED.AND HE Was staring at me again it was so weird??????????????????

09

Jul 2007
7:31 AM EDT

IM BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH SORRY I HADNT WROTE ON YOU IS CAUSE I WASNT HERE I WAS AT AYA'z HOUSE. WELL U KNOW WHAT I FINALLY LET IT OUT AT NIGHT I WAS TALKING TO CICI ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE HIM AND IT WAS GOOD TO LET EVERYTHING OUT HUH ON JULY THE FOURTH WE SAT IN DFRONT OF AYA'z HOUSE AND SAW THE FIREWORKS THERE IT WAS FUN AND VERY PRETTY WELL THERES NOT MUCH TO SAY BUT LAST WEEK WAS REALLY FUN WELL TALK TO U LATER OK

30

Jun 2007
8:09 AM EDT

yesterday was really fun . well it wasnt that much fun at the park . me and brenda were suppose to go to eat luch but the food was horryibe. then we came home i ate pizza hut and it was deliciious. then me and brenda went to go play tennis and it was fun too brenda has improved.well back to me .i miss omar . yesterday i was seeing confessesions of a teenage drama queen and she said now i realized that reality is betteer than fantsay. i wondered . what is better reality or fantasy????????????????
when i think about that i get confuse

28

Jun 2007
8:56 AM EDT

OMG I HAD ANOTHER DREAM ABOUT HIM. OK LET ME C WAT I COULD REMEMBER .OK I WAS AT A PARTY WITH CECI AND HE STAND UP AND POKED CECI THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN WE WERE SITTING IN A COUCH AND I WAS LEANING IN HIS SHOULDER AND I TOLD HIM IF WE COULD TAKE A PICTURE AND THEN HE SAID YES. THEN I DIDNT LIKE IT SO I EARASED IT. BUT HOW DO I KNOW IT WAS HIm.I THINK I JUST DO U KNOW.I HAD THIS OTHER DREAM RIGHT AFTER ABOUT ME GOING OUT WITH THIS PERSON I DONT REMEMBER HIS FACE BUT WE WENT ON A DATE AND IT WAS WEIRD SO G2G BYE BITCHES

26

Jun 2007
8:35 AM EDT

WHAT CAN I DO TO TELL HIM. SHOULD I STAY QUIET OR TELL HIM. BUT IM SCARED CAUSE THIS WOULD BE MY FIRST TIME THAT I TOLD SOMEONE. THIS REMINDS ME OF MY OLD CRUSH ANTHONY. IT ALL STARTED WEN HE GOT ME FROM THE BACK AND SAID DO U WANT TO GET WITH ME. AT THAT TIME I DIDNT LIKE HIM. BUT HE GOT CLOSER AND CLOSER. AND I DIDNT WANT TO ADMIT IT BUT I FELT DEEPLY IN LUV WITH HIM. HE TOLD ME I LOVE YOU. I DONT KNOW IF IT WAS REAL OR FAKE BUT I FELL FOR HIM. AND STILL WEN I SEE HIM I FEEL LIKE THERE IS STILL SOMETHING. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. I DONT KNOW IF I LIKE HIM OR JUST THINK OF HIM AS A FRIEND. BUT I KNOW I LIKED HIM IN 5TH GRADE CAUSE I GOT JEALOUS WEN HE GOT WITH INGRIS. NOW IT ALL COMES DOWN TO OMAR. I REALLY REALLY REALLY LIKE HIM AND I WISH I COULD TELL HIM AND TALK TO HIM . I DONT KNOW WHY BUT I HAD A DREAM THIS MORNING AND I DONT KNOW WAT IT WAS ABOUT BUT WEN I WOKE UP I SAID THANK U GOD. THIS JOURNAL HAS GIVEN ME LITTLE QUOTES AND I LIKE THEM ALOT LIKE THIS ONE "Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it." THATS HOW I FEEL. I WANT TO TELL HIM BUT I CANT

1 comment(s) - 05:11 PM - 06/26/2007

24

Jun 2007
9:43 AM EDT

i saw him again yesterday well only once cause i was so mad cause veri and yeison found out i liked him and esme and aya told them that i liked him. i want to freeze time for once and tell him i love him wen i close my eyes i rember how he looks but then i open my eyes and then his image is gone.I <3 HIM SO MUCH U DONT KNOW HOW MUCH. I WISH WE WERE THE ONLY HUMANS ON EARTH FOR A DAY. OHH U KNOW WEN I WAS PLAYIING MASH WITH SOME PEEPS IN MY CLASS I KEPT GETTING HIM AND I WAS SO HAPPY. I WONDER HOW HE FEELS TOWARD ME. I ENVY CECI BECAUSE YESTERDAY SHE GOT ON MYSPACE AND HER CRUSH SAID DO U WANT TO BE MY BABE CAKES AND SHE SAID YEA. I FEEL LIKE ITS WRONG TO WALK AWAY WEN I KNOW THERE IS SO MUCH MORE TO SAY. I FEEL LIKE MY HEART IS BREAKING EVEN THOUGH THE MOMENTS GONE IM STILL HOLDING ON SOMEHOW. I WISH I COULD STOP THE WORLD. I THINK THIS IS TRUE LOVE BECAUSE WEN U REALLY LOVE SOMEONE U FEEL LIKE U CANT LIVE WITHOUT HIM. U KNOW LOVE HURTS.I FEEL THAT LOVE IS WEN U CRY TEARS OVER HIM AND STILL WANT HIM.ITS WEN HE IGNORES U AND U STILL LOVE HIM. IS WEN HE LOVES ANOTHER GURL AND SMILE AND SAY IM HAPPY FOR U WEN ALL U REALLY DO IS CRY. I HOPE WHO EVER READS MY DIARY ENTRIES UNDERSTANDS CAUSE THERE IS MANY PEOPLE THAT FEEL THE SAME WAY AS I DO. I WANT TO TELL HIM THAT I LOVE HIM BUT FOR ME SAYING I LOVE YOU IS LIKE SAYING MOM FOR THE FIRST TIME U KEEP ON TRYING AND TRYING UNTIL ONE DAY U SAY MORE THAN MOM U SAY DAD TOO

21

Jun 2007
1:54 PM EDT

today was the last day of sixth grade and i was so sad . my friends and i were crying . they are the bestest friends in the world i love them so much that i cant say it in word . i know one day sixth grade is gonna be a memory and its gonna be a special memory. i love this year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
a friend is somebody who is there for u wen ur down and is there for u wen ever u share bad good sad and even happy times with them they are like sisters or brothers to u they are ur family so ill remeber all of my bff's
JACKY,KARLA,DAISY,ANGIE,EDNA,IHOMIRA,SELENA,PAOLA, AND EVERYBODY ELSE I LOVE U GUYS AND I ALWAYS WILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

13

Jun 2007
7:42 PM EDT

I TRIED TALKING TO MY DAD TODAY BUT HE IS MAD AND DOESNT SPEAK TO ME I THINK ITS MY FAULT CAUSE I HEARD MY MOM SAYING THAT MY TIA ESTELLA SAID THAT WHO RULES MY MOM OR ME AND THAT REALLY OFENDED ME U KNOW WELL I HOPE HE TALKS TO US SOON CAUSE I LOVE MY DADDY

13

Jun 2007
4:12 PM EDT

wel my parents are stil mad at each other and they dont talk to each other and im gonna c omar i hope he can lighten my day i dont have much to say

11

Jun 2007
7:16 PM EDT

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference.

1 | 2 | 3 Next Prev Last

shootingstar420's Profile

Username: shootingstar420

Gender / Age: Female, 29

Location: USA - California

Photo Album

1-1 of 1

SHOOTINGSTAR420's Friends:
Mari
brightsparklez