madhousewife's Journal

It is a beautiful day, and for all intent and purpose all seems well. For some reason I am sad, and more than a little grumpy. I don't know why!! I was online the other day and found some things I might try for depression. I should just go to my dr, but.... It's embarrasing to sit and tell someone the little details that make you seem nuts. I won't go down a grocery aisle if more than one person is in it, I hate to talk on the phone, and don't let people get to close. Sometimes I think a cabin in the UP all alone is the ticket to my sanity.

I know being with Mom is taking it's toll. She isn't bad enough for a nursing home, just bad enough to be annoying to me. The same questions over, and over, and over. The start of dementia, where she isn't really even aware she has started.

What would I do with my life...On one hand I want to say leave. Divorce my husband, pack, disappear, and be by myself. It really isn't them, and if I am not happy now, being alone probly wouldn't help. You have to rely on yourself for your happiness. I do wish I had taken some time for myself, but I was young and not the sharpest tack in the box.