madhousewife's Journal

My finest moments were having my kids. They are the lights in my life.

I seriously need to lose weight. It is something I think about all the time. I know all the things I need to do, but for some reason I let myself get a defeatist attutude. I know what to eat, and that I need to exercise. I know when I work out I feel better, and have fewer aches and pains, but.... What is holding me back? Is there some part of me that doesn't feel worthy? Am I lazy? I know when I start losing and people start to notice and comment, I feel awkward, embarrassed, and don't like the attention. I fall off and gain even more. I do know I don't like being fat!!! I have a hard time finding cute clothes that don't cost a fortune, squeezing into booths when eating out, not being able to do one of the things I love the most which is riding rollercoasters. Everything hurts, and the extra weight makes me unhappy.